"Small Potatoes"
by Michelle Erica Green

A Loser by Choice

"Small Potatoes" Plot Summary:

Mulder and Scully head to a small town in West Virginia to investigate tabloid reports of babies born with tails. Scully assumes genetic damage, Mulder assumes aliens having sex with humans - he believes one mother's claim that someone from another planet fathered her child, until she informs him that it was Luke Skywalker who romanced and impregnated her.

After determining that the babies shared the same father and the women the same fertility doctor, Mulder and Scully investigate the clinic and discover a janitor with a scar where a tail was apparently once attached. He proves to be the father of all the children, though all five mothers vehemently deny having had sex with him. Eddie escapes from custody by taking on the physical form of the deputy interrogating him, and Mulder concludes that the shapeshifter probably impregnated the women by impersonating their husbands...or Luke Skywalker.

An autopsy of Eddie's father reveals that his skin contained a muscular structure which probably allowed him to change form. While Mulder is investigating further, Eddie takes on his form, locks Mulder in the hospital basement, and accompanies Scully back to the bureau to close the case. Afterwards, he turns up at Scully's place to share wine and whatever else he can con her into. The real Mulder breaks down the door just as Eddie's going for it, however, and Eddie is taken into custody in his original appearance.


This is the most fun I've had watching X Files since the kid in the Space Above and Beyond t-shirt described Scully's hair as "a little too red." The comic timing of the whole episode was flawless, and Duchovny was priceless doing a bad imitation of his own portrayal of Mulder.

We learned a couple of Fox's secrets, like his penchant for professional phone sex, and we learned that it wouldn't take much for Mulder to sweet-talk Scully into almost anything...if he were paying enough attention to her to notice that she could really use some normal, silly conversation. This episode added to my increasing dislike of X Files relationshipper logic that wants to see Mulder and Scully in love; Scully deserves a man who takes some notice of her need to have some down time. Like Eddie said, Mulder's a loser by choice; I don't want him to give up his Holy Grail, but I wish he'd stop letting it consume everyone around him.

The X-Files Reviews
Get Critical