"One Fowl Day"
by Michelle Erica Green


"One Fowl Day" Plot Summary:

The goddess Discord, who is still a chicken after being struck by one of Artemis' arrows, wants Ares to punish Iolaus and Autolycus for their role in her plight. Ares finds the two and fastens them together at the wrists with chains made by Hephaistos, then makes their clothes vanish and tells them to expect an even nastier surprise at the end of the day. The naked men flee together into the woods, wrap leaves around their dangling participles and argue about whose fault this mess is.

Meanwhile, Hercules takes the pig Katherine back to her family, but as they travel, she tells him of her desire to be human. Aphrodite intercepts them and tells Hercules that Artemis sent her - the other goddess is very grateful that he returned her bow, and wants to do him a favor. Katherine suggests that she could be that favor, and Aphrodite, laughing at Hercules' reluctance, turns the pig into an attractive girl.

Iolaus and Autolycus fight and fall into the mud like pigs, getting their newly stolen sacks filthy. They approach a young girl for help, but Ares turns their language to nonsense, and she flees into town screaming that she saw a monster. An angry lynch mob forms. Autolycus eats goosenberries which put him to sleep, so Iolaus has to carry him. The two are further transformed by Ares - given huge feet and oversized teeth, and mud seems to become permanently affixed to their faces. When the mob finds them, P.T. Barnabas announces that he wants to take the two-headed creature for his circus and will pay dinars for the privilege. The men wish for Hercules to rescue them.

Hercules is having some problems with Katherine - she strips and rolls in the mud like a pig, she goes to a nice restaurant and eats by sticking her head in her soup bowl which he mimics to spare her embarrassment. She can still talk to animals, and learns from a horse that her family misses her. She also discovers that the circus is in town and convinces Hercules to go with her. He recognizes his friends in the circus cage and breaks the chains which hold them, at which point their previous appearances and clothes magically return.

They have bigger problems, however. Discord, now a giant chicken, attacks Autolycus and Iolaus, stomping on the innocent circus folk in her rampage. Iolaus gets the idea of launching goosenberries at her. They cause her to fall asleep. Ares appears, turns the chicken back to normal fowl size, and congratulates Iolaus and Autolycus for making him laugh. The two men fall asleep from goosenberry exposure as Autolycus sleepily tells Iolaus he makes a good partner, and Iolaus reminds the King of Thieves that he already has a partner.

Hercules reaches Katherine's home, but she has decided that she hates wearing clothes and misses her friends and she wants to be a pig again. Aphrodite obliges after Hercules gives the obligatory speech about being true to oneself.


Another ridiculous but screamingly funny episode. Between the attractive blonde stripping to roll in the mud and the two guys with the tan lines showing over their butts, the humor was nearly all below the belt, but those spectacles contrasting with Hercules' doofy earnestness made for a terrific show. The gods had some great lines - Aphrodite tells Hercules that she expects to catch Ares with pigs but it seems a little kinky for her little brother, Ares declares that he hasn't laughed so hard since the entire Macedonian army got the runs. Autolycus also had some great lines: "Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill someone!"

But the real spark came from the chemistry between Autolycus and Iolaus, which had some suggestive moments (the two men rolling around naked in the mud) and some genuinely sweet ones (Autolycus suggesting that if Iolaus weren't otherwise occupied, he'd like to take him along). There was also some great camera work, most notably the Road Runner fall where Hurst appeared to race in space above a missing bridge plank before falling into the river. The oversized chicken attack was an absolute scream to watch.

Anatomy jokes everywhere - Autolycus complaining about hanging out in the breeze, Iolaus bragging about his big feet, Autolycus' answer when Iolaus wanted to know where he kept his lock pick hidden while they were naked: "You don't want to know." Then there were the fowl jokes, mostly revolving around the word "Chicken"! Adolescent, maybe, but very funny - and easier to take than the darker, more violent humor of the other series.

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