NOW VOYAGER The Official Newsletter of the Kate Mulgrew Appreciation Society * Volume I Number 5 {Kate on Tom Snyder} *THE BUZZ* Does anyone here mind if I gush about Kate Mulgrew for a few paragraphs? (I didn't think so!) You know, I would have run her fan club even if I never actually got to talk to Kate, just so people would send things like the photos from "The 37s" and the cartoons and the fantastic fan fiction we have in this issue. But I'd be lying through my keyboard, if I said I didn't hope I'd get to talk to her eventually. And talking to her was a delight beyond anything I expected. I really want to thank everyone who sent in questions and comments, because otherwise I might have been reduced to squeaks of praise and inarticulate mumblings. As it is, we are delighted to present several pages of interview instead. That's the official stuff, so here's the unofficial stuff. She's smart--intimidatingly so, uses lots of metaphors and colorful words to describe things, seems very well-read (I was very relieved that as an English teacher I could spell "Evelyn Waugh" without having to ask!), sounds very tuned in to what people are saying. Quite serious when she discusses work--so much so that I started to worry that I was boring her, except she sounded the same way on Tom Snyder three days later. And she loves Janeway. (Although she calls Hillary Clinton "the First Lady," Kate always calls Janeway Kathryn, which I found hilariously disconcerting--as if she were calling the Pope "John Paul"--for some reason I have no problem thinking of Kate as Kate, but I can't even call Janeway Kathryn behind her back!) Someone asked me to ask Kate what she'd ask Janeway if the two of them could meet, and that question gave me this wonderful image of the two of them sitting on a park bench between universes, drinking coffee and discussing their dogs, like sisters or old friends... I discovered two curious things while preparing to interview Kate. The first was that this fan club is full of astrologers, and I can't help but wonder whether the captain would approve! The second was that there are an awful lot of people--mostly women--who are dying to see some romance on Voyager, preferably involving Janeway, preferably hooking her up with the guy in the next chair. At first this bothered me considerably: we finally get a woman captain, and everyone wants to give her a man to lean on? Aiiigh! But the more I ponder it, the more I think that the issues of gender and sexuality and what we can hope for by the 24th century go much deeper. Janeway's not a feminist heroine merely because she's a woman in command; she's also woman-identified in a way that's almost unique in on television. It made me so happy to hear her call Amelia Earhart an inspiration to herself and generations of women pilots; I love that Janeway has heroines, not just Kirks and Einsteins for role models. And Janeway likes women, she's not at all threatened by B'Elanna or Kes or even Seska even when they dissent to her face. Janeway's completely comfortable with the emotional, maternal aspects of her personality, which regularly get dismissed as feminine weaknesses in our own culture. But what's almost better is that Chakotay is, too. There's a terrific review of "Initiations" inside by Laura Williams about how patriarchal the mindset of Voyager is despite the female in the big chair. All the crewmembers we know with kids back home are father with sons, and Chakotay snaps into father-figure mode easily not just with Kazon brats but with his own crewmembers (Tuvok, too). Yet Chakotay's not a patriarch; quite the opposite. The extent of his willingness to serve Janeway is rather extraordinary given his background. Apparently it makes a lot of people wonder. Or wish. And I did ask Kate about it, and I'm not sure that all of us are going to buy her answer. The idea that Paramount could take Kate's description ofVoyager as a family drama to its logical conclusion, and deal with relationships as Trek has never dared before, has a very strong appeal. I don't really think we need to worry about the ship turning into The Love Boat. No matter what the studio does with Janeway's hair this season, we all can see that Picard is the logical successor to Captain Steubing! Michelle *ALL ABOUT NOW VOYAGER* Welcome to the officially sanctioned Kate Mulgrew Appreciation Society. This newsletter is published bimonthly by Michelle Erica Green and Paul Anderson. You can reach us online at tigger@cais.com. Send SASE for information or $5 for sample issue, or e-mail us for the electronic edition. Current yearly dues, $25/U.S., $32/Canada-Mexico, $40/Overseas (U.S. funds only), are subject to change without notice as rising printing and mailing costs affect our ability to produce this newsletter. This is a not-for-profit, amateur publication and is not intended to infringe upon the rights of Paramount Pictures or any other broadcasting or motion picture corporation. All material herein is copyrighted by the authors, except for the copyrights, trademarks, and patents of Paramount Pictures and its licensees. You may not reproduce any part of this newsletter without written permission of the editors and/or writers. If you received this newsletter electronically, you may not forward it, excerpt any part of it, post the illustrations, nor disseminate it in any other manner without permission of the editors. The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the editorial staff, Kate Mulgrew, or Paramount Pictures. Look for Now Voyager on the World Wide Web at: http://umbc8.umbc.edu/~mpanti1/kate/kate.html. {Kate on Tom Snyder} {Cartoon} *REVIEWZZZZZZ* THE 37S "The 37s" brings the issue of the crew getting home right to the forefront. Although initially one might wonder at the probability of a '37 Ford pickup floating through space, the wondering soon turns to curiosity about a technology which might speed up Voyager's journey home. Captain Janeway's excitement fills not only the bridge and crew, but spills over to the viewer as well. This episode served as a good season premiere for several reasons. First, we finally get treated to the landing of Voyager. Knowing throughout the entire first season that this is a ship with landing capabilities and not getting to experience them was kind of a let-down, especially for the technically-minded viewer. Second, having the recently-awakened 37s comment on the Universal Translator system in the commbadges was essential to addressing concerns about the languages spoken in the Delta Quadrant and about the Voyager crew's ability to speak easily with everyone. Finally, the focus on the crew's desire to get home and the feelings surrounding them are a great starting place for the new season. When the 37's are awakened and Janeway stands face to face with Amelia Earhart, the immediate bond between the two women is almost tangible. There has been some argument over whether or not Kathryn Janeway is a feminist role model. I believe that this argument must now be put to rest, as her meeting with an earlier feminist heroine makes clear. Janeway's telling of Earhart's story to the crew shows us that she considers the pilot to have been an inspiration; while the two women are talking on the planet's surface with Voyager standing behind them, it is apparent that Earhart is inspired by Janeway as well. Although Paramount keeps insisting that their prime demographic audience for Star Trek is young and male, I think if they listen they will hear the voices of women everywhere raised in celebration, hope, and pride. Kate Mulgrew gives an incredible performance in her scenes with Robert Beltran when Janeway and Chakotay are discussing their conflicting desires to stay on the planet or continue to try to get home. We see that the bond between Captain and First Officer is strong and that they have become fond of each other's crews. Though one might expect to see abit of tension between them, I believe that aneway's ability to be forthcoming with her feelings and honest in her questioning of herself inspires the respect and caring that we see in Chakotay. Interestingly enough, the one person who might not want to return to Earth as much as the others, Tom Paris, was downplayed throughout the episode. The pairing of Kim and Torres discussing their thoughts and feelings was both interesting and informing. I must applaud the final scenes of this episode; so much was accomplished and said without words. Janeway's realization that the crew was with her 100% brought tears to more eyes than just her own. The viewer is left with a sense of strength and unity that will serve to send this ship and crew into what can only be a successful second season. --Siobhan Wolf My significant other can confirm that, for the week preceding "The 37s," I was impossible to live with. At 7:00 Monday night every alarm in my apartment went off and we commemorated the occasion with a toast to returning friends. Voyager: Year II, and high time. "The 37s" was no disappointment. The teaser was fantastic, reminiscent of the goofiest, most endearing Classic Trek moments, but also uniquely Voyager. Finding a working 1936 Ford in the Delta Quadrant is so scientifically implausible it's funny, but the business surrounding it was worth playing fast and loose with the laws of physics--Janeway and Torres hitting the deck at the sound of a backfiring truck, Tuvok whirling with phaser drawn, searching for invisible enemies. Wonderful! And it could have been worse--they could have found Abraham Lincoln floating out there. The rest of the episode progressed well, aside from a few minor problems--the truck would never have started, Tuvok doesn't seem like the type to be ambushed so easily (and by mere humans), in 10 seconds you can't thaw a chicken breast safely, much less a living human being. But the high points far outweighed the lows. Sharon Lawrence was phenomenal as Earhart, turning what could have been an implausible, gimmicky character into a compelling person. She made me see how badly Earhart wanted to believe Janeway and her version of the future. Earhart and Janeway together were great, each a little in awe of the other; they made the episode for me. Likewise, John Rubenstein also turned in a solid performance as a descendant of the 37s. Even old Fred Noonan gets my vote, though would he really have worn a suit and tie on an around-the-world flight? The regular characters seemed a little stiff, but not troubling. Tom, Tuvok, Neelix, Kes and the Holodoc were their usual selves--believable and fun to watch. It was good to see Harry and B'Elanna together again; I hope we continue to see more of this budding friendship. As usual, I was dismayed to find Chakotay barely present for the first half of the episode, but he makes up for it at the end--plotting to rescue his crewmates, voicing the emotions of his friends, supporting and comforting his Captain. I'm sure many of us are still dwelling on the significance of a couple of his lines--"You're not alone," "We'll make it" -- but the one that got me comes earlier in the story: "I'm here, Captain." At this point I flopped over in a heap of bliss. The episode's major flaw, and one that almost killed it for me, was the handling of crewmembers who might want to stay behind. This concept deserves more than just a few minutes of screen time; in fact, an entire episode could be devoted to it. "The 37s" might have worked better as a two-part episode, the first hour devoted to Earhart and company, the second devoted to these "impressive" cities and the culture they represent. I wanted to see this society, see why the crew might want to stay. I wanted to see them agonizing over the decision. This would have made the fact that no one stayed far more emotionally compelling. It would have also allowed for more interaction between Janeway and her 20th century counterpart. And maybe, just maybe, Chakotay would have touched her again... --Laura A. Williams {Janeway and Chakotay in 37s} There are certain motifs that seem to show up again and again in the Star Trek saga. Famous personages turning up on remote planets seem to be a favorite, and so finding Amelia Earhart in the Delta Quadrant should be no more of a surprise than bumping into a 25 foot tall Apollo complete with temple, or Jack The Ripper as a balding bureaucrat on a pleasure planet. As Janeway seems to have become a kind of feminist icon, Earhart seems a fair update on the Zephram Cochrans and Abraham Lincolns of yester-series, and at least Janeway seems genuinely pleased to find her. Those who worship at the shrine of Janeway will want to tape this episode, and those who find the captain less than acceptable will want to burn it. The quivering lip brigade actually gets an opportunity to be right for once. The scene where no one shows up in the transporter bay brings Janeway to her emotional knees. On the flip side, I was almost crying myself, so it comes out even. One of the joys of Voyager is the sense of playfulness that was only half-evident in TOS and TNG and is still almost completely missing on DS9. The appearance of a rusted truck on the viewscreen and the crew's reaction to a twentieth century backfire was worth the price of admission. When I saw the truck all I could think of was the old "Pigs In Space" shtick from The Muppets, and the uniforms on the 37s that show up later were oddly reminiscent of The Mummenchance that often appeared on that same show. The scene in which Janeway tries to explain the situation to the newly-awakened and slightly freezer-burned abductees was a real winner. Kate seems to be getting more beautiful with each passing episode and her demeanor exemplifies what Rodenberry dreamed of when he invented Star Trek. As this new season begins, Janeway seems to have found her proper place in the scheme of things. With the humanity of Picard and the command and sense of adventure of Kirk, Janeway has captured what was best in both and left the stuffiness and the macho routine behind. {Janeway and Earhart} And guess what? Voyager can land on a planet! Just what it is that holds up that overly long front end I'll never know, but my guess is that it's got one heck of a heavy rear end. The tiny landing legs make the Voyager look a bit like the Bassolope of Doonesbury fame, but what the heck. And there are some more humorous moments. Judging from the look on the holodoctor's face, I wonder if Earhart's navigator will ever know how close he came to getting his wish when he asked to be allowed to die. Neelix is still honing his culinary skills with intriguing 20th century recipes such as Jello and the particle-of-the-week-club can start chewing on the physics of something called Trimanium. Certainly the 37s was not the blockbuster that the premier episode was, but it gave me a warm feeling about the coming season. The writers have not ignored the fact that there still isn't much holding the crew together beyond Janeway's sense of duty, and that fact still bothers Janeway in a way that would never have concerned Kirk. The very fact that she decides in the end to let the crew decide even after pointing out to herself that she can't afford to make a habit of democracy proves that we are dealing at long last with a human being as captain. Things still go wrong and don't turn out perfectly in the end, and characters are still being developed, including the captain's. Not quite like reality, but close enough to be recognizable. One can still imagine what it would be like to serve under Janeway. Where do I sign up? --Richard Hanson I don't mind telling you, I awaited "The 37s" with dread. Amelia Earhart? Alien abductions? Oh, no, pleeeaase... But I had a stalwart hope and faith that the producers would not blow it, and it was justified. This episode's writing could be a model for a good solid Voyager installment; action, humor, a real dilemma, delightful and touching character moments. The guest stars did a fine job without overshadowing the regulars. Quibbles: Why was the truck out in space while Earhart's plane was on the surface? Why hadn't the water and gas frozen and ruined the pipes? Why would a poor Southern farmer be using a brand-new truck to haul horse manure? Oh, well, it made an interesting teaser. Chakotay and Tuvok seemed a little helpless pinned behind that rock, after all that business with the compression phaser rifles and the security guards. It was nice to have Janeway save their bacon, but I wish two experienced officers and six trained crewmen had not looked quite so incompetent without her help. Special effects went reasonably well. The deployment of the landing gear was obviously CG and the strut contacting the surface a model, but CG is my profession and I notice these things. The composited shots of the Voyager on the surface were effective, and the takeoff at the end quite convincing. Apparently they ran out of money with all those FX, however; not even seeing a glimpse of the cities that were so tempting to the crew was an obvious omission. Nearly every regular had a good scene, which is the kind of balance I would hope to see commonly. I enjoy episodes that feature one character or another, but not when they forget that others could add a lot of texture and interest to the story. Neelix and his Jello with fruit cocktail was priceless, the doctor complaining about the alcohol levels in Fred Noonan's bloodstream was dead-on, Paris immediately climbing into the cab of the truck and starting it up was only to be expected, Tuvok making dry comments about ventilating the cargo bay was perfect Vulcan, Harry and B'Elanna talking about the temptations of staying behind was poignant and had a lovely undertone of the implied bond between them from "Caretaker." Which brings me to the real rewards of "The 37s"--the scenes between Janeway and Chakotay. Her doubts about the logic of pursuing the homeward journey, which he momentarily echoed, then put aside with a beautiful reminiscence of the natural wonders of Earth. Her look at him when they discovered that the alien ship that might have helped the homeward journey had been destroyed, and his undisguised emotional reaction. The conversation in the corridors as they braced themselves to lose part of the crew to the security of a new home, each mentioning one of the others' recruits, and distressed at the thought of losing the other. The fact that people are now pairing off on Voyager and thinking of starting families. And the tender gesture of Chakotay's hand on Janeway's shoulder as they stood before the cargo bay door, supporting her and giving back some of the strength she gives to the crew. For those of us who see the relationship between this Captain and First Officer as potentially one of the great Trek themes, this episode was a gold mine. Best exchange, for a number of reasons: Fred Noonan, believing he is dying: "Amelia, I love you." Amelia Earhart: "Oh, Fred, you never said anything." Fred: "You're married--or you were. I guess he's dead now." Funny, nicely acted, parallels between another captain and second-in-command--highly enjoyable. --L. R. Bowen Oh boy! Time for the season premiere of Voyager! I grab my microwave popcorn, plunk down on the sofa, and turn to my local UPN station. "Oh look! There's a truck floating in space. Hey, that's just like that old Saturday Night Live Trek skit. Wonder if they did that on purpose. Oh, what a cute scene with the truck in the cargo bay." Looks like this will be a fun episode. "Cool! They're landing the ship! This is really neat. Why isn't it tipping forward onto its saucer? It looks overbalanced on those tiny legs. And if the transporters don't work, how are they getting off the ship? An escalator? Wait, now they're reviving the frozen people. Um, this could have been written better." During the next commercial, I mix myself a rum and coke. Maybe that will help. "Ho hum. More boring stuff in the cave. The dialogue is so damn stilted! Wait, now they're exiting the cave. Bad guys! Woo hoo! Maybe it will get better now. Oh. They're humans. Snore! Another 'Minnow' moment. So these hum ans were brought here as slaves over 400 years ago. Awfully long way to go for slaves. And if those aliens had technology that advanced, why didn't they just mechanize? Machines are much more efficient than biological labor." I take a big sip of my drink. I'm overanalyzing again. "What? You're not going to show us their city? What happened, did you blow your budget for the week already? Aha! More dramatic tension. Should the crew join the human civilization on this planet or should they stay on Voyager and continue home? Wait a minute--that's awfully human-centric. What about Tuvok, and Geron, and Chell, and all the other non-humans on the ship? Why would they want to stay here? And since when did Chakotay wax philosophical about Earth? I thought he was from that planet in the Cardassian/Federation DMZ?" I take another big sip and try to calm down, but to no avail. "What?!?" I scream at the TV (actually, I scream something a little stronger, but this is a family publication). "You seriously expect me to believe that no one is staying behind! No one?!? AAAAAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!!!" The drink gets finished off in one huge gulp. Thunderclouds rumble ominously above my head and the cats dash behind the sofa. And then they have the gall to show a preview for Nowhere Man instead of one for next week's Voyager." I make a note on the fridge to buy more rum before next Monday. --Jennifer Pelland (Siubhan) When I saw the coming attractions for this episode, my first reaction was Oh, geez. It's hard enough for a writer to secure that "willing suspension of disbelief" which is so important for science fiction; the blurb could hardly have made this episode sound sillier if they had been advertising that Janeway had found Elvis. Just goes to show that coming attractions can be more of a liability than an asset. Once we got past the trail of rust--and the idiocy of the idea that an internal combustion engine could actually be gassed up and ready to go after being in space for four hundred years--the episode was quite enjoyable. In fact, with this episode I started to feel comfortable with Voyager for the first time. The actors seem to be settling into their roles very well and the writers seem to be finding the knack of writing for an ensemble cast. The focus moved naturally from one character to another as the action required input from various departments. Even the direction seemed more comfortable and sure-footed. For example, the bit of choreography going behind Paris after he's ordered to land the ship is nice. After they go to code blue, Janeway and Chakotay move to their respective chairs. The camera cuts to Paris' face and the two are shown out of focus and shadowed in the background, sitting down simultaneously and remaining still, as though to let Paris do his job without interference. It was a tiny bit of a scene, but it gave me a feeling of trust and unity among the bridge crew. The unity, of course, gets tested. Problem is, the testing element--the 37's and the colony of humans--don't seem to be in the story for their own sakes as much as they seem to be part of an elaborate set-up to test the crew's resolve. Still, a good punchline can be worth a long setup. So it is with this story. The scene between Janeway and Chakotay in her ready-room is excellent, and sets the stage for the scene in the corridor just before Janeway finds out if she still has a crew. Janeway's obvious pain before she enters the cargo bay and Chakotay's reassuring hand on her shoulder create a bond between the two, and give the viewer a sense that something has been achieved. The tag scene gives a nice sense of closure. Tuvok's "Captain on the Bridge" amounts to an affirmation of Janeway and her determination to get them all home. While this episode wouldn't get my vote for brilliant SF, it gave me all the right feelings and whetted my appetite for the coming season. --Barbara Leflar Jackson In a nutshell, "The 37s" tried to do too many things in one episode: a first-time planetary landing, a group of humans kidnapped from Earth by aliens, and a last-minute "should we stay or should we go" dilemma. The tone kept changing, from campy to serious to major angst, and the pacing was dreadful. I did think the opening scene with the truck was cute. Yes, there was no good reason for the truck to be floating in space; yes, it was unbelievable that there was gas in the tank; yes, it strained credulity to imagine a 1936 Ford turning over on the first try. But the scene brought back fond memories of "A Piece of the Action," Trek campiness at its finest; Robbie McNeill's Shatner-esque performance heightened the similarity. And the crew's reaction to the backfire--particularly Tuvok's--was just a hoot. After that, however, the show went downhill. Deciding to land the ship and then having the transporter malfunction during that ridiculous hostage situation slowed the story down immensely, leaving little room at the end for what was supposed to be a major plot twist. You know, the whole reason Roddenberry "invented" the transporter was to enable writers to get into (and out of) stories quickly. The justification for the landing was specious (another throw-away piece of technobabble) and the dramatic value was nil. And that landing gear looked awfully dinky; I kept waiting for Voyager to pitch nose first into the ground, a la R2D2. The decision to wake the 37's seemed poorly thought out. Just what did Janeway plan to do with these anachronisms once she'd revived them and learned what happened? Bring them along for the ride? Good thing there just happened to be a thriving human civilization handy. So Janeway didn't want to stun the 37s when one of them waved a gun around. Why didn't she simply have Chakotay beam the whole gang to one of Voyager's cargo holds? It would have saved a lot of explanation and given Janeway and Earhart more quality time together. Of course, if they'd done that, the crew wouldn't have met the other humans and their unseen but presumably wonderful civilization. And so there would have been no debate over whether some of the crew might want to stay. And that brings me to what was, for me, the most disappointing aspect of this show: the ending. All that soul searching in something like 10 minutes of air time! This whole concept deserved an episode of its own, and I think Jeri Taylor and Brannon Braga would have done better to make this a two-part cliffhanger. Show the human civilization, have the crew oooh and ahhh over it, and then have a few of them come in and tell the Captain, We want to stay. Close-up on Janeway's shocked expression, end of episode, wait until September to see how she deals with it. A primary rule of show-biz: always leave your audience wanting more. The parochialism behind the decision of whether to stay or go bothered me, too. I can't believe all the humans on board are from Earth, and there are other species on board. How would they feel, faced with the fact that they would have to stay if insufficient crew remained to run Voyager? How would the doctor feel about possibly being abandoned? (How would Kes feel about how the doctor felt? How would Neelix feel about how Kes felt ... never mind.) Chakotay s homesickness was odd, too--and confusing. We were led to believe that he was raised on Dorvan V, the planet/civilization introduced in TNGs Journey s End. So wouldn't he feel a stronger desire to return to the Alpha Quadrant and continue defending his world against Cardassians, rather than frolicking around in the Gulf of Mexico? The only part of the ending I liked was the brief scene in the corridor before Janeway and Chakotay arrived at the cargo hold. It was a nice touch that, when each mentioned a crewman they thought would leave, Janeway said she'd hate to lose the Maquis, while Chakotay said he'd hate to lose the Starfleet officer. And mention of Jarvin's thoughts of marriage left all kinds of possibilities open that I hope will be explored in the future. I also thought Chakotay placing a hand on Janeway's shoulder was a nice role reversal. But come on, folks; no one wanted to stay behind? It would have been far more realistic to have a handful stay, and the emotions would have been far more powerful. All in all, this episode reminded me of "The Neutral Zone," TNG's first season finale. The plot was too similar, and so was the quality of the writing--poor. Taylor and Braga should be ashamed of themselves for putting together this pastiche of plot lines. -- Alanna Whitestar I'll skip the nits about the long-awaited season finale/ premiere, because there are others who nitpick much better than I do. For entertainment value, this was a great episode. Yes, the landing struts were preposterous; by all rights the ship should have toppled onto its nose. Yes, I wondered how a 400-year-old truck could start right up after floating in space. Yes, I wondered why no one elected to remain on the planet. So what??? I thoroughly enjoyed watching the crew explain the scientific elements of rust or gasoline. I think it's a charming insight into Tom Paris' character to find out he has a passion for ancient cars. I adored Kim asking if the Ford truck was an "ancient hovercraft"! And the bit with Tuvok and the backfiring engine was priceless. When I first heard that the crew was going to discover Amelia Earhart, my immediate reaction was "oh, puh-leeze." I was wrong. It was utterly fascinating to watch Kathryn Janeway come face-to-face with a pilot of Earhart's stature. It was obvious that Janeway was awed by this meeting, and disappointed that Earhart would not be returning to Earth with her. The character development has come such a long way since "Caretaker." It was such a relief to see the deepening of the relationship between Captain and First Officer. Aside from the unspoken potential here, it was just plain comforting to see them finally have a serious, human-to-human conversation and exchange of ideas. There was no strain of commander-to-commanded here, just good, basic emotions and communication. Janeway wants to go home? Well, so does Chakotay and he makes no bones about it. There is an ease, a friendship here that has been either absent or tucked out of sight until now. As an ardent Janeway/Chakotay supporter, I found the last 10 minutes worth the summer's wait. The abject loyalty displayed by Chakotay was marvelous. We hear his concerns, we see his support just by his presence with the Captain as she makes her way to the cargo bay. He actually placed a comforting hand on her shoulder for a change. Gives our "touchy-feely" count a whole new perspective! That one touch said more than any words of encouragement could have. Let's hope the relationship continues to grow, and we get to see a little more between the two. "No matter what happens, we'll make it. Remember that." --Becky Olsen {Crew briefing room} INITIATIONS Fathers and sons. Star Trek is rife with them--Sarek and Spock, Kirk and David Marcus, Maurice and Jean-Luc Picard, Kyle and Will Riker, Noonian Soong and Data, Mogh and Worf, Worf and Alexander, Ben and Jake Sisko, Rom and Nog, ad infinitum, ad nauseam. And there are father-figures, too--Kirk and Charlie X, Picard and Wesley Crusher, Dr. Mora and Odo. On some very basic level, Trek is all about fathers and sons; take away the ships and the technology and you're left largely with father/son relationships in various states of repair or disrepair. Along comes Voyager, with an estranged father/son relationship set up from the beginning: Admiral and Tom Paris. There are other instances as well; we learned in "Prime Factors" that Carey has sons at home, and a seemingly throwaway line in "Initiations" tells us that Ayala's children are also boys. In Star Trek, every man is a son and a potential father. So it should come as no surprise that Chakotay, while performing a son's ritual to honor his father, becomes a father-figure himself. He immediately begins calling the Kazon boy "Son," and Kar's response--"I am not your son, Federation. I am your executioner"--sets up yet another estranged father/son relationship. Kar already has a father-figure, the Fagin-like Razik. Haliz also guides and disciplines Kar and the other boys; when he strikes Kar, Chakotay steps forward to defend the boy as a father would defend his son from a bully. Chakotay continues to protect and teach Kar, earning his respect and trust; he is even willing to die for the boy. In the end, Kar must prove his manhood by killing one of his father-figures--a scene that could be taken from the traditional literature of virtually any civilization on this planet. "Prove you're a man; kill your father." Kar chooses to kill Razik and places himself at the mercy of Haliz, displaying the courage and loyalty Chakotay taught him. Finally, Chakotay asks Kolopak to watch over both himself and Kar, his figurative son. Meanwhile, back on Voyager, the crew tries to puzzle out and cope with the disappearance of their own father-figure, Chakotay. Janeway puts Paris in charge and leaves the ship to look for Chakotay herself. But who gets to sit in Dad's La-Z-Boy? Neelix. Not the likeliest of father-figures, but he tries hard and performs admirably under the circumstances, buying the crew the time they need to locate Chakotay, whom no one believes is really gone for good. By show's end, of course, he is recovered in good health. Fine. That said, my question is this: Where are the mothers and daughters in Star Trek? Sure, there are mothers; let's not forget Amanda and Lwaxana and Beverly. There are daughters, too--Deanna Troi and Molly O'Brien among them. But if every man is a son and potential father, why are the women not presented within the same archetypal framework? [Fear of female sexuality?--ed.] Of all the regular female personnel in Trek, only Beverly Crusher was a mother. With the exceptions of O'Brien and Sulu, all the men had sons--the second way one proves his manhood in traditional folklore. Patriarchy, pure and simple. Of course, the fathers have been far from perfect--take Kyle Riker, for example, or Jim Kirk. But the mothers have fared even worse. They have been hysterical (Amanda), oversexed (Lwaxana), or artificial (Julianna Soong). Saavik acted as a mother to young, mindless Spock in STIII, and we all know how that ended up when the Seven Year Itch set in. The DS9 episode "Family Business" taught us that a good mother gladly sacrifices her principles to appease her children -- in this case, two grown sons. Deanna Troi's brief foray into motherhood was almost grotesque. Even the Good Ship Enterprise played wet-nurse to an alien creature once, completely separating motherhood from biology. I find this rather disheartening, especially since, in the 24th Century, we've come far enough to have a woman sit in the Big Chair and order around a ship full of men. A lot of women seem to be watching Voyager. This would be a perfect forum for exploring women's relationships and their roles as mothers and daughters. Done well, it would not push away the all-important male demographic, and it would be nice to see a Trek series explore both sides of the parenthood equation. So here's my hope for the future of Voyager: that we find out there are mothers among the crew, and that one or two of them even left a daughter behind. And maybe someday one of our female officers might become a mother herself--a lot can happen in 75 years. And now, some random observations about "Initiations:" The body block Chakotay threw at Razik was worthy of any NFL lineman. What do you suppose Neelix was thinking when he sat down in Chakotay's chair--"This is the comfiest chair on the ship! Now I know why Commander Chakotay never stands up!"? For the second week in a row, Tuvok led one of his commanding officers into a trap that the viewers at home could plainly recognize as such; perhaps Janeway should fire him and appoint Kes as Chief of Security, she looked pretty good wielding that phaser. Finally, is anybody keeping track of the number of caves Chakotay's been in so far? By my count it's at least six. Can you say "Freudian," boys and girls? [In light of the above discussion ofgender on Trek, this seems a very important question!] --Laura A. Williams It's our initiation into the character of Voyager's very own animal guide vendor, and we DO end up knowing Chakotay a bit better. It's not that they haven't been able to come up with a decent line or two for the big guy, it's just that he's gentle and quiet. He also comes over as the kind of person who won't (or can't) give up on people he cares for. Especially after this episode, I've come to believe that Janeway was right about him from the start--his totem animal should have been a bear. Being both incredibly strong AND gentle is quite a trick. Chakotay pulls it off and makes us believe it...more or less. Pop Quiz: You're forced to deal with a young Kazon-Ogla who seems to value machismo over Federation Fair Play. You're trying to find a way to educate the boy (who vaguely resembles and sounds like Quark's nephew) on the higher values of human culture. You also happen to be a leader in a group that is actively rebelling against Star Fleet policies. What do you do? Is it only me, or is there something hypocritical about Chakotay's posturing over the values imbued in the uniform he's currently wearing? I mean he is Maquis, isn't he? They are actively involved in stubbing the toes of the Federation, aren't they? I could swallow some of the "gift"like qualities of the uniform coming from Picard or even Janeway, but listening to Chakotay lecture Kar on the honor and duty involved in belonging to Star Fleet sounded a bit like Q deciding to lecture on the joys of being human. Don't get me wrong. I like the guy. How many people are willing to try brain death to help out a stranger? And unlike most of the self-professed religious types I've met, Chakotay didn't forget about the boy once he was safely out of sight. But how would Chakotay feel if, say, the kid were from his own tribe, raised not to kill, and managed to hook up with a Cardassian father figure who said "Come with me and I'll teach you to be a real man"? {Chakotay praying} "Initiations" begins strangely--I considered it the height of chutzpah to have a largely undeveloped character complain about the problem at the top of the show, as Neelix's conversation with Janeway comes close to talking to the audience. Seems to have done some good, though; Neelix's confrontation with the Ogla ship was impressive, especially played out against Paris' sullen minute in command. The Kazon seem a little too Klingon at times, and at others no more alien than the family you wish hadn't moved in across the street. Their apparent awe at Federation technology seems odd considering the size of their ships and the sophistication of their weaponry. Perhaps they learned all their diplomatic techniques playing liar's poker. Alternatively, they could have been so busy constructing new and better ways to kill people that they haven't devoted the necessary effort into more important things like hand-held tricorders. Why analyze your environment when you can just disintegrate it? As usual, Janeway came through for me when she "chose" to believe that Chakotay had made it down to the moon alive, even though the wreckage of the ship made her belief unlikely. Kirk would have gone dramatically irrational, Picard might have left orbit after a solemn minute or two. Janeway again showed both human feeling and mature rationality in her decisionmaking. At the end, we get mostly what we ought to expect from human (or Kazon) nature. The boy isn't going to throw his entire cultural history away after being awestruck by a Federation uniform (they do seem better tailored, though). Nevertheless, he showed his own sense of honor in the final decision. And Chakotay willingness to make a personal sacrifice says a lot about his values. Ultimately, the dynamic tension that ought to be created by Chakotay's predicament and the boy's dilemma never seems to materialize and the other actors seem to be going the motions without really believing in the situation. For me, the only saving grace to the story was the reason Kar gave for leaving with Chakotay. He's been told that only cowards die without names. Operating on the truth of that assumption he stages a bold escape. In doing so Kar turns the 'truth' of what he's been taught completely on its head. This isn't just good fictional spin-control, but a truth in its own way. Platitudes have a habit of losing whatever meaning they might once have had. In the end, mindless traditions become either meaningless or adopt whatever meaning a creative mind chooses to give them. We see this played out at least one more time in Kar's conversation with Chakotay about age and dying with honor: "You'd rather die in your sleep, a wrinkled old man!?" "Sounds about right." Karr's traditions concerning honor and courage and the qualities of youthful manhood have all become so mixed and confused that he can only be amazed at anyone who would welcome maturity and a peaceful end to a long life. That Kar would come around to the Federation point of view would be a vain hope and possible only in the fictional thinking of 60's-style television. That we aren't insulted with such an end is some consolation. --Richard Hanson {Janeway, Kes away team} Easily among the best Voyager episodes so far, along with "State of Flux," "Initiations" gives a great deal of depth to one of the most fascinating of the Voyager regulars: Chakotay. How does a gentle, peaceable, religious man deal with deadly force, and the imperative of killing to save his own life? Will he find a solution that he can live with? A wonderful premise, and excitingly executed. Chakotay emerges for the first time as a complete personality, forbearing but not a pushover, an avoider of violence but not suicidal, secure in his values and beliefs but willing to go to great lengths to help someone who does not share them. The theme of the relationship of father and son, of passing down a way of life, is illustrated in many ways. Chakotay goes out on his own to pray to his dead father's spirit, and is attacked by a boy wanting to prove to his own father figures that he is a man. Does violence and defense of territory make a man? Among the Kazon it does, but Chakotay demonstrates in word and action that another kind of manliness exists, one that can prevail over brute force. He says that "a man does not own land. He owns the courage and the loyalty in his heart. That is what my power comes from." He points to his Starfleet uniform as his equivalent to a name earned by killing, a badge of maturity earned with knowledge and dedication. He can defend himself against violence and does, but he never glorifies it. This is especially poignant when one recalls that Chakotay gave up his Starfleet commission to fight with the Maquis. What must the provocation have been for a peaceable man to join a terrorist organization? How strongly must he have felt about the cause to set aside his career, something he obviously cherished deeply and worked hard to gain? All the more powerful for being understated, an essential concept to Chakotay's character. Yet he never comes off as a plaster saint, occasionally venting his frustration, as when he tells the ungrateful boy whose life he has just saved for the third time to keep his invective to himself. A very dry and subtle sense of humor, written well, and beautifully played by Beltran, came out with wonderful effect. Other characters were not shortchanged, in a fine feat of writing that avoided the formula Star Trek "A plot here, B plot there, and never the twain shall meet" division. Neelix feels left out of the action, and complains to the Captain in a very funny scene that gave both Mulgrew and Phillips some delightful comedy. The little Talaxian then shows his mettle and his worth to the Voyager by facing down an angry Kazon Maje, using his knowledge and a little judicious psychology. Paris is a little out of his depth in command of the Voyager while Janeway goes to rescue Chakotay, but tries valiantly and does his best. The Doctor lay down a few zingers as he usually does, irritatedly requesting that the shuttle debris he has been examining be removed from Sickbay. Guest stars were effective, aided again by the writing that did not shrink from the essential harshness of the Kazon but did not cast them as monsters. Aron Eisenberg, the young actor better known as Nog on DS9, carried off the role of Kar very well, not at all reminiscent of his other character. It looks like he's been working out! Well-employed special effects and ship combat scenes helped the adrenaline along. One unfortunate quibble: Chakotay's magically reappearing medicine bundle. If one assumes that he simply replicates a new one every time it gets blown up with his ship (as certainly seemed to be the case in "Caretaker") it loses some significance. If he had simply had it with him on the planet's surface, along with the gun that he did take with him, that problem could have been solved. But the use of the talismans in his ceremony felt convincing (although from all indications made up from whole cloth) and Chakotay's beliefs shown to be an essential part of his character. The inclusion of a sincerely religious character as a Starfleet officer is a Voyager exclusive, and one of the show's great strengths. May the treatment of moral issues always be as skillfully done as in "Initiations." --L.R. Bowen Nits, nits, nits...Yes, I've heard them all, even had a few fleeting nits of my own. Did it stop me from thoroughly enjoying this episode? Not on your life! All summer long we were subjected to reruns, most of which I had already watched on videotape several times, so when I heard they were finally dedicating an episode to Chakotay, I literally shrieked. I found most of the episode entirely predictable, but we finally got a chance to see Robert Beltran say something other than "Bridge to Janeway" or "Aye, Captain." This is a fine actor with quite a varied background, and it's a shame to see him wasted week after week. I found it touching to see his concern for the young Kazon, beaming him aboard the shuttle instead of blowing him to bits, a man who is attempting to do some good where hatred and war rule. It was reminiscent of what he might have felt on his homeworld, trying to educate the children in peaceful ways even though death and destruction surround them. One small step taken by one "gentle man." And terrific directing in the fight sequence; the camera really stays with the nuances of Beltran's performance. That tracking shot in the cave (despite the refocusing just when the camera reached a critical juncture!) was very well done; nice work on Rick Kolbe's part. Now for the nits...where did his sudden attachment to the uniform come from? Janeway must have made quite an impression on him in the "Caretaker" scenes we weren't privileged to see! I like to think it was a case of his feeling the Starfleet/Maquis debate was irrelevant in this situation. Hanging out the dirty laundry for all to see was pointless, not to mention that any hint of dissension on the Voyager could have placed them in grave danger. And where does he keep that medicine bundle? So far it has survived the destruction of the Maquis ship, and the shuttle. I know he can't keep it tucked in his uniform, it's too tight to conceal something that bulky. The best reasoning I've heard so far was that it was picked up with the shuttle debris and placed in his quarters. (If that was the case, they missed a wonderful opportunity for a very touching scene. Who was entrusted with its placement?) And speaking of shuttles, I know Janeway was glad to see him, but don't you think she'd be just a bit put out that he wrecked a perfectly good shuttle? It's not as if they can stop in at the nearest starbase and pick up another one. Now for the good times...Most of the female hearts in America stopped for an instant when Chakotay looked at the Kazon youngster and said matter-of-factly, "You'll have to kill me." No! Not that! But we knew it wouldn't happen. And we finally got to see just a bit of his quarters. I enjoyed Neelix--he actually had some serious business this time around--he's alwayscharming and funny, but seeing him as a virtual cartoon character every week gets a bit old. Tom Paris? Yes! Finally he gets his chance for some command duty. It's nice that he's proven himself enough to be trusted. Seriously, all nitpicking aside, I loved this episode just for the amount of screen time that Chakotay received. I think it proved to everyone that there IS a real person underneath the silent stoicism we've been subjected to for the last six months. Paramount--if you're reading this? More please! --Becky Olsen After last week's fiasco, I mixed my rum and coke for "Initiations" in advance. It was a tall drink. I also had a selection of kooshes and other soft things ready to throw at the TV if I felt like being violent. I was ready for anything. "Finally, an episode that centers on Chakotay!" I cried as I settled down on my sofa. I was pleased to find that I didn't need the alcohol to help me get through the episode. But when it was over, I started thinking about it and realized that it really wasn't that great after all. I hate it when that happens. First of all, the whole "send Chakotay out in a shuttlecraft to do a ritual" plot wasn't explained. Why did he need a shuttlecraft? Why not do the ritual on Voyager? Obviously it was just a plot device. Fine. I can deal with that. But it didn't end there. No, he gets captured by the Kazon and proceeds to inflict his human values on an alien society. He doesn't seem to care that Kazon do things differently than Humans. In fact, he seems to think that they're barbarians. Funny, those same charges were leveled at his people by the European explorers of the American continents. Obviously, history is doomed to repeat itself. And never mind the infamous "transporting medicine bundle." That thing follows him everywhere like a lovesick puppydog. First it follows him off his Maquis ship (I didn't see it in his hands when he transported to Voyager, did you?), then in this episode it somehow follows him off the destroyed shuttlecraft. There was no sign of it when he was on the Kazon moon, but somehow it was back with him in his quarters on Voyager. Did B'Elanna beam it over with the debris? I don't think so. I'd like to see a body cavity search, please. Oh, and since when did Chakotay "cherish" his Starfleet uniform? Last I remembered, he'd dropped out Starfleet to fight people wearing that uniform in defense of his homeworld. Sure, he's put it back on again, but only because he's stuck in the Delta Quadrant. If his ship hadn't made the trip and he was still fighting Cardassians and the Federation, do you think he would say that he "cherished" the Starfleet uniform? I don't think so. He's wearing it out of necessity. Either that or he's totally compromised his principles, which would be a very sad thing. The episode did have some good moments, most noticeably the Paris/Neelix tag team diplomacy scene, but all the Chakotay/Kazon interaction left a lot to be desired. I think I initially didn't realize how awful this episode was due to the fine acting jobs of Robert Beltran and Aron Eisenberg. They really made the best of a bad situation. But alas, it wasn't enough to save "Initiations." --Jennifer Pelland (Siubhan) "Inititations"--the first real Chakotay episode--begins with the promise of filling in the much needed background on this one character who was underdeveloped throughout the first season. Rumor had it that the writers knew this and were going to remedy the problem early in this second season. The opening scene is hopeful: Chakotay alone in the shuttlecraft, Voyager nowhere to be seen, and the accompanying voiceover of the first officer's log explaining that he is performing a ritual to honor the anniversary of his father's death. At least we now know that Chakotay's father is no longer among the living. The scenes move quickly through the Kazon boy's attack on the shuttlecraft, Chakotay's saving of the boy's life, and Voyager's finding that Chakotay cannot be reached by subspace communicaitons. Janeway's remark, "That's speculation, Mr. Paris." lets the viewer know that she is not going to be unnecessarily concerned until she has the proper evidence to support that concern. However, we see very little beyond looks on the faces of Torres and Janeway which gives us any insight into the background of Chakotay himself or the developing relationships aboard Voyager. This episode does serve to further the information that we have about the Kazon Ogla. We learn that they have secured their independence from others in uniforms, that they have little respect or need for the laws of the Federation, and that they consider the Federation and their technology to be a threat to their independence. We also see that they are a feudal society that has not evolved to the level that many of the Federation societies have gained. The scenes while Chakotay is aboard the Kazon vessel show us a man who has a tight rein on his temper and who is in contol of his every thought and movement. Although exemplary behavior for a Star Fleet officer, I miss the fire that possessed Chakotay in "Caretaker." While it is true that circumstances have changed drastically and that he has committed to finding a way home with Captain Janeway and their combined crews, I don't believe a fire like that can simply be extinguished because circumstances have changed. I expect that somewhere down the line, if he doesn't find a release for those pent-up emotions, our Commander will explode. It is my hope that the writers allow him to stretch his emotional muscles as well as his physical muscles in episodes to come. The parallel of Chakotay going out to honor his father and then becoming somewhat of a father figure to Kar works well, however. Both Robert Beltran and Aron Eisenberg gave great performances. It is to Eisenberg's credit that he so easily carried the scenes with Beltran. Seeing that Chakotay is, indeed, a compassionate person and teacher helps us to get a tiny glimpse of some of the internal conflicts that must exist inside this man. Aboard Voyager, it was wonderful to see Paris and Neelix getting to use their negotiating skills. The sight of Neelix sitting in the Captain's chair was priceless! I am also glad that they gave Neelix some serious work to do and that he rose to the occasion. This fills out the character in more than just the comic-relief demension. In my opinion it is in the final scenes of this episode where the writers fell short. Here was the perfect opportunity to take a risk and show us more about Chakotay. Had Kar actually killed Chakotay, the two minutes before resuscitation would have been the opportune time for Chakotay to meet the spirit of his father, learn that Kar was the vehicle sent by the spirits to connect Chakotay to his father under these distant stars, and to receive a message of value and importance from his father, or some such thing. But Kar killed the Kazon leader instead, Chakotay and the rest of the away team returned to the ship, and the viewer is left grasping for might-have-beens in Chakotay's development. Though overall I think this was a satisfactory episode, it left me wanting. I hope that the writers will come to some sort of decision about the background of our mysterious First Officer and then give Beltran some substance with which to work. --Siobhan Wolf {Chakotay fighting Kazon} PROJECTIONS So Lt. Reginald Broccoli--(Barclay, that is) is responsible for testing interpersonal skills for the Starfleet Emergency Medical Holographic System? Geez, that explains a lot of the Doc's personality right there... I hate holodeck jeopardy episodes. Except this one. I wish I hadn't seen the spoilers that made it obvious from the beginning that the Doc's isolation on an apparently abandoned Voyager was not real. But it made an absorbing and hilarious and moving little mystery anyway. I'm not sure how he knew he had been stuck in his holographic delusion for six hours, or that the cause was the "radiation of the week," but the plot wasn't really the point of "Projections." It was a wonderful star turn for Robert Picardo, and the whole adventure reeked of the Doc's brand of sarcastic wit. I believe I heard Picardo wrote some of the dialogue himself, and it certainly sounded that way.. The tone actually reminded me of "Red Dwarf" in a number of places. (For those not in the know, "Red Dwarf" is a long-running British SF spoof with a holographic main character and a very quirky take on all the classic SF plots. See it if you ever get a chance.) "Projections" was loaded with wonderful scenes. A quick list: Neelix defending himself with vegetables and invective against a hapless Kazon. "No one gets the better of me in my kitchen!" the fearless Talaxian snarls. The recreation of the Doctor's first moments on the job from "Caretaker", with Barkley claiming he based the "holocharacter" of Paris on his annoying Cousin Frank. Janeway ordering both of the "intruders" put in the brig. Kate Mulgrew's acting as a "projection" of Janeway impressed me a great deal; she spoke and behaved like a slightly simplified, writ-large version of the captain, just what one would expect of a holocharacter. Some of that effect might be chalked up to Jonathan Frakes' direction, as the other regulars exhibited some of the same characteristics in their performances. "Aside from the computer malfunctions, it has been an uneventful day," says Tuvok, even more deadpan than usual. Mulgrew fan note: I always like to see Janeway get mad. She does it with such style, and her voice takes on an undercurrent of menace that gives me the happy shivers. I would love to see an episode in which she really delivers on some of her elegantly phrased threats. Mess up that hair, give her a justifiable grievance, and stand back. The scene in which Barclay, Kes and Chakotay all tussle over the Doc's direction of mind exhibits a lovely tension as the unreal man's desire to be real, to have a life and a body and human relationships, all boil to the surface. "It's not what you're made of, Doctor; it's what you are," says Chakotay. This might be the signature line for the whole episode; Kes asks puckishly if he's sure that he is only a hologram, and he does a quick test to confirm it. He is made of light and force fields; that is as it should be. He is still himself, reassuringly, and no less sentient for having been programmed that way. Even if it was by Lt. Broccoli. --L. R. Bowen "Please state the nature of the medical emergency." And with this line, very familiar to Voyager fans, the adventure begins. Despite the presence of two standard Trek plot drivers--a spatial anomaly and a holodeck malfunction--this is a wonderful episode full of plot twists, character development, and great moments for most of the crew. It appears the Doctor has been left alone on Voyager ("I'm glad everyone bothered to say good-bye"); or, is he a "real person" who is trapped on a holo-Voyager which isn't real? Or, is he still a hologram, but trapped on a holodeck on Voyager which is real? And when do we actually enter reality? It's thanks to skillful writing by Braga and the wonderful Robert Picardo that this episode is entertaining rather than confusing. The ability to transfer the Doctor around the ship was neat--I hope this happens in reality sometime. Picardo and Mulgrew play well off of each other; their scene on the bridge shows how far their relationship has come from the days when she referred to him as "just a hologram." The scene with Neelix, the Doctor and the Kazon was wonderful--Neelix shouting "Prepare to die!" while hurling vegetables is classic. The entire first part of this episode is actually more fun the second time around, when one knows that this is the Doctor's holographic fantasy--to be "real" and to save the ship. Although I had begun to suspect the true nature of Janeway and company, I was still delighted when they disappeared when Janeway ordered the computer to "Shut down all holographic systems within the ship." The plot takes a new twist with the appearance of Lt. Barclay--who is more annoying than ever (and has really bad hair!) But the fact that Barclay was the one responsible for testing the Doctor's interpersonal skills was a great touch. It explains a lot about the Doc's bedside manner at the beginning of the series. Even while pondering the mysteries of his own (and Voyager's) existence, the Doctor has some fun--deleting Paris, describing the Caretaker as "Banjo Man", and being able to tell Janeway what is about to happen to the crew. I also enjoyed Janeway's "I am woman, you are worm" look when he tried to "delete" her. His nightmare scene is startling--especially when Janeway's voice comes out of the injured Doctor Zimmerman. We also got to see a new facet of the Kes/Doctor relationship. Her delight in the last scene when she talks about being his wife and her parting shot "Are you sure about that?" gave me hope that she is going to develop into an interesting character rather than the resident-Keebler-elf-who-is-a-telepath-and-general-wise-woman. There are plenty of great Kate moments, and plenty of memorable lines. All in all, a super episode that bears repeated watching. --Joan Testin {Janeway and Doc} After two disappointments in a row, I'm a little nervous about switching on my TV. I've given up on rum and coke. It's failed me in the past. Instead, I pull a pint of Ben & Jerry's out of the freezer and plunk down on the sofa once more. The cats learn quickly, and they've scuttled off to the kitchen to hide. I open the B&J and prepare for the worst. An hour later, the cats are peeking tentatively out of the kitchen, wondering why mommy isn't fuming. Instead, they see me smiling happily in the midst a choir of angels singing hosannas in the TV room (which is funny, because I'm not Catholic anymore). So this is why I watch Voyager! I loved "Projections"! Robert Picardo was incredible, as was Dwight Schultz (yay Barclay!). The writing was excellent. The plot moved just quickly enough. The foodfight with the Kazon was a hoot! Even though I knew everything would work out (after all, this isn't Blake's Seven), I didn't know what exactly was going on until close to the end. And there was still that little fake ending just to make us scream. Oh, and it's nice to see it confirmed that the Holodoc has the hots for Kes (even though we knew it already). Episodes like this are what makes Voyager great (and promotes feline-human harmony in my home). Next week, Kes goes into heat. Shudder! I think I'll need a full bottle of scotch and a shot glass... --Jennifer Pelland (Siubhan) Speaking as a big fan of holophilosophy--the Barclay and Moriarty episodes on TNG, the planet of the holo-people on DS9--I've liked the idea of a permanent holocharacter from the start. And the Doc is a terrific concept: programmed with minimal personality--and now that we know Reginald Barclay was responsible for his interpersonal skills, what personality he does have makes more sense!--he must learn to be a person in every sense of the word. The Doc probably grew more than any other character on Voyager last season, and this episode may be the single most successful example of character development we've gotten on the show. What's lovely that it's also witty and moving. Trek's always been interested in thoughts-shape-reality scenarios, but there's something chilling as well as exciting about holotechnology--the idea that one could lose oneself in an artificial world, bring back a dead lover or friend, recreate home in its absence. I've been surprised that Sandrine's is the only example of the latter on Voyager; I'd expect that they might have serious holoddiction problems like Barclay's in TNG. Why deal with the reality of being stuck in the Delta Quadrant when you can be home, or anywhere else in the universe, instead? But the Doctor's situation is almost the reverse of the rest of the crew's: once they find their way back, he may be switched off permanently and cease to exist--or, like Moriarty, be aware of the passage of time, yet unable to interact with the world of corporeal matter. He's already had to cope with the idea that he can be switched off or reprogrammed at the whim of others, and with the terrifying concept that the crew might abandon him along with the ship, leaving him permanently active and alone. No wonder he resorts to sarcasm and acidity to distance himself. Which brings us to this episode and its philosophical quandary: the Doctor as Pinocchio, given the opportunity to believe that he is real, but forced to live a lie to do so--and a lie which might destroy himself in the process. An interesting psychological conundrum: will he throw out his reality principle to become real? Ultimately he decides that he doesn't need to. Chakotay tells the Doctor that it's not what he's made of, but who he is that matters, and oddly enough, the Doctor never really seems to waver in his belief that he is what he is. He doubts Barclay's claims that he could be the mundane Dr. Zimmerman throughout, and much as he might want to believe that Kes is his wife, he knows better. In fact, he prefers the real relationship he has with her in Sickbay to the fantasy which he recognizes, regretfully but assuredly, as false. For an artificial life-form, the Doctor's personality is in fact incredibly strong--perhaps stronger than Data, whose desire to be human led him to the immense overhaul we were presented with in Generations once he installed his "emotion chip." The Doctor has no such convenience: he gains experience with emotion the way we do, by experimenting and learning and suffering over time. Robert Picardo has done an astonishing job with this character, and Frakes' direction of this episode--distorted, paranoid views opposed to nice normal two-shots--is very effective. {Doc} *THE KATE MULGREW FILM FESTIVAL COLUMN* A TIME FOR MIRACLES by DeAnn G. Rossetti {Kate as saint} Remember the 80's? The decade of "greed is good"? While some of us were making money, Kate Mulgrew was making this 1980 TV movie about Elizabeth Ann Seton, the first US-born saint--the very antithesis of greed--which is why you may not have heard of it. Kate shines as Elizabeth, called Mother Seton, a woman born into privilege who marries a wealthy man and has four children. When he loses his shipping fortune, however, she is forced to move to Italy, where her beloved husband dies in her arms of consumption on Christmas Eve. Following the funeral, Italian relatives give Elizabeth and her daughter a comfortable welcome, gifting her with some 'widow's weeds' that she will wear for the rest of the film. At this point she meets her husband's comrade, the handsome and very married Jean-Pierre Aumont. He loses any trace of autonomy once he lays eyes on that sweet Irish face of Kate's, following her around like a puppy for the rest of the scene (if you believe cliches about Italian men, this movie will do nothing to dissuade you of them). While mourning her husband and missing her children, left in America, within the sumptuous Italian masion of her hosts, Elizabeth comes upon the family priest saying Mass and watches the women praying the rosary and receiving Catholic communion. Elizabeth has been questioning her Episcopalian faith. Why would God leave her family destitute if He were a merciful being? She loses sleep over this question until she returns to the chapel and chats a bit with the priest. She attends several masses, and feels more comforted in the rituals of the Catholic faith than in her own Protestant beliefs. Elizabeth sets sail for America with her charming friend (like that skanky slinky-head from "Prime Factors" who tried to put the moves on Janeway...nice accent, but...), on the pretext that he will 'look to open new markets' for his family business. In reality, he just wants to be alone with the lovely widow. He tells her before they reach shore that he is in love with her and wants to take her for a mistress, clearly a faux pas considering Elizabeth's recent conversion. She rebuffs him gently, so the Don Juan swoops her into his arms for a sloppy kiss. Kate looks so sweet, innocent and blushingly fresh-Irish-lass-just-off-the-boat that those of you who love her sparkling eyes, flowing locks and 100 killowatt smile will be swooning for 2 hours straight. The camera worships her. After reuniting with her children (2 sons and another daughter), Elizabeth decides to open a school for children in the hoity-toity neighborhood where she once lived (as opposed to accepting the financial support of the groping Italian). She tells her children of her plans to convert; both her daughters ask to join her, but the local schoolmaster advises against it, saying that she will lose her wealthy students and gain animosity among the aristocracy and general townsfolk. She argues that her soul is more important than public opinion. Soon after we see her first communion among the town's children, we see her students dwindling and the inevitable angry mob forming. The well-dressed Protestants burn the church and stone the priest along with many of the congregation, including Elizabeth, who is amazed that her friends would turn on her, especially, as she says, "in a country founded on the right to religious freedom." She manages to get the children out and keep the priest from death at the hands of the mob, and is rewarded by a meeting with the Archbishop and Monseignor of the local diocese. The Archbishop, played at full growl by Lorne Greene (former patriarch of the Bonanza and Galactica clans), is so taken by Elizabeth's faith in the face of derision that he asks her to found a convent of Sisters of Charity, who will teach the young, rich, poor--girls as well as boys--how to read and write. After Elizabeth refuses because the rules of the Church state that one must rennounce all ties to family, and "my first responsibility is to my children, Father. I was a mother before I was a Catholic," the Archbishop tells her they will change the rules for her, so that she can found the order and raise her children as well. Elizabeth goes forth to a small frontier town and is "presented" with her first group of novitiates to the order, one of whom admires her widow's bonnet and cloak. She decides then on the black outfit as the habit of the order. Soon they all set off for the schoolhouse, which is in such poor repair that they pay the local builders to fix it and add onto it. Kate shows her early Janeway technique here as she verbally wrestles with the rather dense town builder over having a proper chapel and adding certain necessary rooms onto the school. In the scenes that follow, Elizabeth sends her sons to the local boys' school, already established, and goes from farm to farm to recruit students and novitiates. She has a great scene with a farmer (played by Kyle Maclachlan of Dune and Twin Peaks) who doesn't think his daughter, as a girl, needs to learn to read and write. Mother Seton learns about the winter hardships of the frontier and barely manages to scrape by feeding her novitiates and children. Then her daughter gets consumption and dies, as does her favorite novitiate. Though depressed and prematurely aging, Elizabeth manages to bring in enough students to warrant the parish building an even bigger school; many Sisters of Charity are sent to other towns in need of teachers. Soon she is a bit of a legend in the town, for her good work and her ability to get the merchants to tithe to the school to keep it running. Not long after she is visited by her one unconverted son, who credits his mother's strong faith with saving his own life and those of his crewmates during a naval wreck after she appeared to him in a dream. He finally decides to convert. Soon after this, we see Elizabeth weakening and becoming ill. She welcomes a new priest to the school who stays at her deathbed, where she tells him that she is not afraid to die, but still feels like she has failed in many ways. He assures her that her mission has been carried to schools all over the U.S., and that she is beloved of everyone she has encountered. She dies prettily in 1821 (at age 40). There are four small scenes with John Forsythe at the beginning, middle and end of this movie that I felt were unnecessary, in which he plays the priest in the 70's who pleads with the Pope to make Seton a saint. The Pope, and several nasty-sounding bishops, make it clear that four documented miracles are required for sainthood. In the end, they waive the fourth miracle. We are treated to actual vintage film footage of Pope John XXII proclaiming to a huge mob of people that Elizabeth Ann Seton is a saint. If that moment doesn't bring a tear to your eye, you are either Vulcan or carved out of marble. I highly recommend this movie, though there are lots of loose ends they never tied up. Kate is at full bloom here, giving a performance of quality and emotional depth, despite her youth and the vagaries of the script. *THE FUNNY PAGES* IN MOURNING Another product of Jennifer Pelland (Siubhan)'s demented mind, although she blames Michelle for getting her thinking about Voyager and Irish wakes in relation to coffee! "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the passing of our fallen friend, Paco." Tom Paris, dressed head to toe in black, gestured solemnly at the small coffin before him. A collective case of the sniffles broke out among the assembled mourners. He took a deep breath and continued, "Paco will be dearly missed by all of us. Every morning of every day he gave us the strength to carry on, but now...now he is with us no longer. If anyone would like to say a few words..." He stepped aside. Kes walked up timidly, sadness lining her pixie face, and stood behind the podium. "I'm really sorry. I did all I could, but I've been so busy in sickbay..." Tom came up behind her and put a supportive arm around her tiny shoulders. "Kes, no one blames you. You did all you could." "But if I'd only tried a little harder..." Her voice dissolved in silent grief. Tom gave her a reassuring squeeze and led her back to her seat, where she dabbed at her eyes with a hankie. Kathryn Janeway stood up solemnly, and all eyes turned to her. She was wearing a solemn black pantsuit with a small black hat and veil. She'd taken Paco's death the hardest. She slowly walked up to the podium and stared sadly into the tiny coffin. "Paco," she began, her voice threatening to break. She turned away and clenched her fist to her lips. Regaining control, she continued, "I so looked forward to seeing you every morning. You tried your best to be there for me, even under the most difficult of times, and I truly appreciated that." She choked back bitter tears, then turned on the coffin and angrily screamed, "How could you be so selfish? What about us? Why did you have to go and die?!" Tom came up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. "Captain..." he said quietly. "Shut up, Lieutenant!" She whirled back to the coffin. "Don't think I'm through with you, Paco! Seventy five years...you expect me to survive seventy five years without you? How dare you!" Tom snagged her by the arm and removed her bodily from the podium. Harry leaned over to Chakotay, whispering, "I can't believe people are making such a big deal over a dead coffee plant." The first officer shrugged. "Caffeine addiction is a nasty thing. Besides, that was the last coffee plant in the hydroponics bay. They just can't seem to keep them alive." Harry sighed and settled back into his seat. A couple more people shuffled past Paco, saying a few words, and paying their respects to the withered little coffee plant, then Tom got back up and said, "Although Paco was a Colombian coffee plant, we've decided to honor his death in the style of an Irish wake so that we can celebrate his short life rather than mourn its passing. The bar is now open." A throng of people headed for the bar. Tom had wanted to use Sandrine's for the wake, but Janeway had overruled that. She wanted an honest-to-goodness Irish pub, not a French tavern. You couldn't drink beer at a French tavern. Not properly at least. She sidled up to the bar and said, "Pour me a pint of Guinness." Tuvok, looking distinctly uncomfortable in his tweed cap, picked up a pint glass and filled it from the tap. "Captain, I hardly understand the point of this exercise." "You know...morale...efficiency..." she said, waving her hand around dismissively. She took a swig from her glass and said, "At least the hops plants are doing fine. Dammit, why did all the coffee have to die?" Tom moved around behind the bar, half drunk pint in hand, and said, "Captain? Here." He pulled out two shot glasses and filled them both with whiskey. "To Paco." She grinned mournfully and picked up the glass. "To Paco." They clinked their glasses together and tossed down their shots. "Another?" She nodded. "Another." They shared another shot, then another, and then Janeway decided that she'd better slow down. This was real whiskey, not synthahol, and she'd be dancing on a table soon if she didn't watch it. She hauled Tom out from behind the bar, snagged Carey, and headed for a table, where the three of them sipped at their Guinness and watched the assembled crowd. "Nothin' like a real Irish wake," Carey mused. "Yeah," said Tom thickly. "Nothin' like it. Nothin' but the best for Paco." Janeway hiccupped in agreement. Tom slumped forward onto his elbows, saying, "Ya know, I didn't realize how much I'd miss him. I mean, I wasn't a big coffee drinker before, but now that he's gone..." "Yeah," Janeway agreed through hazy eyes. "Poor Paco." She finished her beer and stared blearily at the empty glass. "Gonna get another." Tom drained his glass and said, "I'll join ya." The two of them stood up, waited for the world to settle down, and then made their way to the bar. B'Elanna watched them walk by and said, "I can't believe how drunk they're getting. Especially the Captain." Chakotay just deadpanned, "The Irish are very serious about drinking. They're a very spiritual people." The engineer looked at him incredulously, then realized that he was joking. "Good one. You figure they'll be on the floor before the night is over?" Chakotay nodded. "Them, Carey, and Maguire. They'll all be totally plastered." Torres turned to look at Maguire, who was drunkenly singing Irish pub songs while playing an accordion. "She's pretty sloshed," she commented. "She was pretty sloshed before she even got here," Chakotay replied. "She said it would help give her the confidence to play or something." Meanwhile, Janeway and Tom had gotten their refills and were standing at the bar, watching the assembled mourners. Harry walked up to the bar and said, "Hi Tuvok! Can I have some Kahlua on the rocks?" The bar went silent. Janeway slowly turned on the hapless ensign, fury burning behind her glassy eyes. "What is it?" whispered B'Elanna. "He's in for it now," Chakotay replied. "Just watch." "Kahlua?" Janeway rasped menacingly. "You want Kahlua?" Harry shrunk back. "Um...yes?" he squeaked. Tom stepped forward, attempting to defuse the situation. "Uh, Harry. That's not such a good idea," he said quietly. "Why?" the ensign asked naively. Janeway forcefully yanked Tom back, sending him flying drunkenly into Chakotay, and barked, "Do you know what Kahlua is made of?" Chakotay helped pick Tom up, and the flushed blond pilot murmured, "Sorry." B'Elanna waved her hand in front of her face to dissipate the stench of alcohol emanating from Tom's mouth. Drawing herself up to her most imposing stance, Janeway yelled, "It's made of coffee, you insensitive twit! Paco's been dead for barely a day, and already you go off in search of synthetically produced coffee? Just how cruel are you?" Harry trembled. Tom lurched forward and put his hands on Janeway's shoulders. "He's just a kid. He didn't mean anything by it." "Sorry," Harry squeaked, skittering back a few paces. "You'd better be sorry!" Janeway hollered in reply. "In fact, you'd better haul your sorry ass over to that coffin and apologize to Paco." Harry stood there like a deer caught in headlights. Was she serious? "You heard me, Mr. Kim! Apologize to Paco!" Janeway screamed at the unresponsive ensign, getting quite red in the face in the process. Grabbing Harry by the arm, Chakotay murmured, "Come on, might as well get it over with. Keep the Captain happy. Don't worry. I don't think she'll remember any of this in the morning." The two of them made their way to the black lacquer coffin and stared down at the withered plant within. Feeling the Captain's ocular daggers spearing his back, Harry cleared his throat. "Paco, I'm really sorry. I should never have ordered that Kahlua." Torres suppressed a snicker in the background. Janeway smiled sadly at the stoic young ensign and walked forward. "Oh, Harry," she said, threatening to dissolve into tears again. "You brave trooper." She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him tightly. Harry's eyes went wide and looked to Chakotay for assistance. Chakotay just smiled amusedly and shook his head. Pulling away, Janeway dabbed at the tears in her eyes and said, "All right, who's up for a jig?" B'Elanna murmured, "She certainly isn't." Chakotay had to choke back laughter. Tom, being a much more experienced drunk than Janeway, said, "You know, now might not be the best time. Our musician seems to be asleep." He pointed to the corner of the bar where Maguire was snoring loudly, head pillowed on her accordion. Janeway nodded sagely, then turned to Chakotay and Torres and squinted. "Hey, you're not drinking." B'Elanna smiled placatingly and said, "I already had a beer." "Commander?" Chakotay shook his head. "Sorry, I don't drink. My people have a long history of alcoholism." She nodded and patted him on the arm. "Very wise of you." "Oh, Paco!" a voice wailed. All heads turned to see an obviously blotto Kes standing on a table, swaying back and forth staring sorrowfully at the tiny coffin. "Great," muttered B'Elanna. "Where the hell is Neelix?" "He's still cleaning the kitchen," Chakotay replied. "Maybe I should call him." "Paco, you poor little thing," she continued hazily. "Oh, I can't help but feel responsible for your untimely demise." "Now Kes," the Captain said, "you did all you could." "I know," she cried, "but it wasn't enough! Poor little dead Paco! I will honor you with the Ocampan Death Dance, my little friend." And with that she started swaying even more dizzily, waving her arms around, and pulling off her shirt. Harry turned bright red and turned away. Chakotay had seen enough. He stepped forward and said, "Kes, why don't you put your shirt back on and head back to your quarters. I'm sure Neelix would love to see you." He silently thanked his ancestors that Ocampans wore bras. Tom, staring unabashedly at the stripping pixie, said, "Now Chakotay, don't interfere. She's just engaging in one of her culture's rituals." Janeway nodded drunkenly, wiping the mist of tears from her eyes. "I think it's beautiful," she wept. Kes kept waving her arms around, and then started tugging down her skirt. Before she could get very far, Chakotay hoisted her off the table and onto the floor. "Time to go. Everybody's staring. Especially Tom." She looked over at Tom and burst into tears. "Oh Tom, that's so sweet!" she said as she ran over and wrapped her arms around him, still shirtless. Tom hugged her back, looking for all the world like a lecherous priest pretending to comfort one of his buxom flock. Chakotay sighed in disapproval, thanking his ancestors that Tom was too drunk to get physically aroused. B'Elanna stalked over and said, "Break it up! Here's your shirt, Kes. Why don't you put it on and we'll take you back to see Neelix." Kes smiled. "Oh, NeeNee! I want to see NeeNee." B'Elanna rolled her eyes, roughly tugged the shirt back over Kes's head, then led her out of the room. Tom's eyes followed her wistfully. Janeway, totally oblivious to Tom's lusty fascination, said, "I think it's so touching how she did that dance for Paco. She must feel awful, being in charge of the hydroponics and all." Carey belched and curled up for a nap under the table. Janeway looked uneasily around the holodeck, holding her empty beer glass in an unsteady hand. "Think I need another one..." she muttered before her eyelids started closing of their own accord. Paris took the glass from her hand and put it on the table as Chakotay helped ease her into a chair. She put her head down on the table and fell asleep. Chakotay took a deep breath and turned to Tom. "So, when do you pass out?" He smiled back. "I don't. I go back to my quarters, drink two liters of water, and go to sleep. As soon as I can focus..." He leaned heavily against a wall, trying to shake the fuzziness from his eyes, and failed miserably. "Um, everybody done with Paco?" Chakotay glanced around. Pretty much everyone had left right after Kes had stopped stripping. It was just him, Kim, Tuvok, and the four drunk Irish people. "It looks like everyone is done." "'Kay. Computer, end program." The bar vanished, and as the tables disappeared, Janeway went crashing to the ground. It didn't seem to bother her much. She just muttered something about coffee and curled into a more comfortable position. Tom looked up at Harry and asked, "Um...can you help me get to my room?" Harry shook his head. "There's no way you're going to make it." Tom nodded, sliding down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. Chakotay looked at Tuvok and shrugged. Tuvok flatly said, "Computer, new program. Turn entire floor into a feather mattress." The room shimmered and changed until the entire floor was a cozy sleeping surface. Tom smiled and curled up to sleep, and the remaining crewmembers exited the holodeck. Harry snickered, "They're going to feel awful tomorrow." Chakotay put his hand on the younger man's shoulder and said, "I want you to make sure that the Doctor transfers over to the holodeck the moment they start waking up. They're going to need a hell of a hangover remedy." "I'll set that up now," Harry said, heading down the hallway toward sickbay. Chakotay looked expectantly at Tuvok, who merely raised an eyebrow, saying nothing. Janeway became faintly aware that she had to go to the bathroom. Turning over, she groaned as the whole world lurched sickeningly around her. She heard a similar groan nearby, and a masculine voice whimpered, "I am dying." At that, she heard the soft sound of the Doctor appearing beside her. "Partied a little too much last night?" he asked in his usual loud, chipper way. Four groans greeted him in reply. "Can you keep it down?" Janeway asked, grabbing at her head. "Certainly," he said, only a notch quieter. Then she felt the hiss of the hypospray against her skin and the veils of nausea began to part. Images from the previous night came flooding back, and she flushed right down to her toes. She turned to stare at Tom, and saw that he was similarly pink. Pretty soon, four very red Irish faces were staring at each other, utterly mortified as their memories returned. The captain still desperately needed to empty her bladder, so she stood up to beat a hasty retreat to her quarters. Everyone else took that as their cue to leave and got up as well. Tom politely gestured toward the door and said, "Captain..." "Thank you," she muttered and bolted out the door. The Doctor watched them all go with a smug smile on his face. "Computer, end program." The cushiony floor disappeared, and he was about to leave when he turned and saw the small coffin. "Hmm, this doesn't appear to be part of the program," he said as he walked over to investigate. Seeing the dead coffee plant inside, he shrugged his shoulders. "Humans are so strangely sentimental. All this over a plant for which we have plenty of cryogenically stored samples. All they have to do is look up coffea arabica in the medical storage database and clone new seeds. That would have been much easier than throwing a funeral. Honestly!" And with that, he transferred back to sickbay. {Janeway and Chakotay in Cathexis, paws on chest} I WANT TO GIVE YOU MY LOVE TOUCH The Touchy-Feely Captain Count at press time (this season's score in brackets): Chakotay: 11 (1) Paris: 9 (1) Kim: 6 Torres: 4 Kes: 4 (1) Doc: 3 (2) Neelix: 3 (1) Tuvok: 2 {Emergency Holographic Hair Program cartoon} *KATE!* [Need I say more? This was phone, not live, August 21, 1995, so I can't tell you what kinds of faces she was making. I am extremely grateful to all the people who sent in questions, and we saved the ones that didn't get asked for next time.] NV: Hi Kate, this is Michelle, Now Voyager's editor. KM: I love this newsletter! I get such a kick out of it. It's disconcerting to me but it's absolutely delightful. NV: I'm glad you like it! Why is it disconcerting? KM: Well, that anybody should have a newsletter dedicated to them--it's quite amazing. But it's wonderful. I lose myself in it, yes. I especially love how you have rated on some sort of scale how often and whom I touch. NV: That seems to be everybody's favorite feature. We keep agreeing that we're going to stop the innuendo in the newsletter because kids read it, but everybody wants more dirty jokes. KM: How odd! How did it come into existence? NV: Wait, I get to ask the questions! OK, in a nutshell, it came into existence because I just assumed you already had a fan club and I put a little note on the Internet, and I made the mistake of wording my query "Kate Mulgrew Fan Club Anyone?" And apparently people thought that meant I was running one, and I got about 150 messages in three days saying, 'Do you run Kate's fan club? I love her!' KM: Well, it's great. I love the way you all sort of...I mean, things are very thoroughly analyzed, aren't they? NV: It might be kind of scary, I guess, since you haven't been involved in Trek all these years and you didn't know... KM: No, I haven't. NV: ...those of us who have just take this for granted. KM: Well, you're all passionate about it as a hobby, right? And why not? NV: So, do you want to talk about you first or Janeway first? KM: I'd much prefer to talk about Janeway, of course. NV: All right, then. If you, Kate Mulgrew, could sit down and talk to Kathryn Janeway, what would you want to ask her? KM: I probably would ask her--that's an excellent question, by the way--my first question to her would be, 'Why science? Why science, and how did you fall in love with it? And tell me the story of your odyssey as a scientist.' I'd probably ask her a million questions about her background. NV: I know that Janeway's entire history hasn't been written yet, because Jeri Taylor's writing the book, but do you kind of have it in your head? KM: I have my own. And it's interesting that you should say that, because Jeri and I will have to sit down one day and see if any of these historical ideas are matched. I believe she is an only child. And I would place her in Boston. I think that the love of science grew out of her father--association thereof--it has been determined and established that he was an ardent scientist, a very respectable one-- NV: Her mother too, wasn't she? KM: Her mother not so much, but this is me speaking about what is important to me in the development of my character. I think her mother was a total human being. I see her mother as being rather patrician, slightly arrogant, highly intelligent, and deeply loving. NV: So you think the career came from her father and how she acts in her career came from her mother? KM: I think that Janeway has a remarkable level of self-esteem, born out of what clearly must have been not only a sound but extremely compelling family history--I think that those dinners at that table must have been rich in ideas and dreams, she's a dreamer. NV: You think her parents supported her decision to go into Starfleet? KM: Absolutely. But I think that her father must have been rather tough on her--and that her mother was no pushover either. I think that even in that house in the future, when the issue was raised regarding a Starfleet future and discipline, I think that there must have been one or two raised eyebrows--'Are you sure you want to do this, Kathryn, do you know what this means"--and that her curiosity, her deeply inquisitive mind and soul could lead her in no other way, so that finally I think her parents accepted this and then embraced it wholeheartedly. NV: I don't even know if you think about this, but I was sort of wondering: do you think that Janeway is conscious that she's a woman commanding men, or a human commanding aliens, or do you think any of those distinctions even matter to her? KM: I think the human element matters. When I'm dealing with an alien confrontation, absolutely, because this is above all a tale of morality, Voyager, and the interesting philosophical question that rears its head is, it is very human to even have a moral center or discourse, most of these aliens do not understand what morality is, or if they do they call it by another name. So In would say the most provocative element of Voyager, aside from the fact that 150 people are lost in space, is that in dealing with these aliens it is Janeway's ultimate challenge to find the juncture at which they can meet and understand one another, ethical and even sociocultural questions notwithstanding. Do you understand what I'm saying? She has to transcend who she is and still hang on to her humanness. NV: Prime Directive aside, do you think she has personal politics, do you think she secretly walks around with an agenda? KM: I think she's strongly opinionated and I hope that that will be explored more and more, so I think she does, yes. NV: Are you at a point where you can suggest storylines to the writers or say, 'Kathryn Janeway would never say this line"? KM: I haven't felt that yet. Perhaps I've asked for a couple of corrections--god knows I've made some mistakes... NV: I hadn't noticed! KM: Oh yes, we've had some reshoots because sometimes I go to far or I take a chance that backfires, but I mean to keep that up, because I think the only way to learn is by trying. If this is indeed the brave new world it's heralded as being, it's up to me to continue to make rather bold choices. The only way we're going to know if they succeed or fail is if we shoot them. So very often--well, not very often, but it will happen that the producers will not be in sync with me regarding an acting choice. But this is like a love affair--you know, a passionate love affair is a volatile thing, so I think that we just make our way slowly and we give ourselves as completely as we can, and we end up in bed together at the end of the day. NV: Did you have specific role models for Janeway, did you observe women in the military or women in the space program? KM: No, I didn't have time. My quick sketch of her was mine utterly, and is an original one, and then as the season wore on and I had the opportunity to meet women who could have been like Janeway--who could be like Janeway--women from NASA, the First Lady, I had marvelous opportunities last year to meet extraordinary women--I stole things from them without hesitation or embarrassment. But I would say that my palette was almost completely clean. NV: So who were you drawing from from your own past? Who were your role models as a kid? KM: Oh, probably my mother. NV: Does she watch the show? Is she into the role? KM: Of course! She just adores it. She thinks Janeway's terrific. And my mother is a highly critical person, but she's also a great artist, I would say an original and provocative thinker, so I took a lot of that from Mother. But I have never, myself, idolized another actress. NV: So all those Katharine Hepburn comparisons... KM: No, no, no, those are interesting to me because I don't see them. Which I think all in the end lends itself to the development of a pretty interesting character. Someone new. NV: So how Janeway walks and speaks, that's all you? KM: All of that evolved...well, it's not all me, because the actress, if you really want to create an interesting character, the character has to deviate from the person. So I have indeed endowed her with characteristics and components that I myself do not possess. For instance, that walk. A certain stature. I would say that I am constantly challenged by her intelligence, daily--not only intelligence, how would I put it to you--the work on the bridge, the work on the ship, the technobabble--I view that as one of the great things. NV: Do you try to figure out what it means, when somebody hands you a script--you know what a polarized ion burst is and all that... KM: Oh, it means plenty to me before it comes out of my mouth, no question about it. And if I don't I spend a lot of time...I never go to work without knowing what I'm saying. So two and a half hours are given each night to study. The vocabulary alone could take me 45 minutes if I do a good job of it. And then another couple of hours to wrap my tongue around it. So that by the time I get on the bridge the next morning, there is no time lost in "Do you understand what this technical term means?" The time is given completely to the creative process. NV: Everybody always talks about the technobabble...you've done medical shows and such, is it that much different? KM: It's tough. Because as you speak it--and don't mistake this, you know, unlike a medical show where mistakes are allowed, mistakes are not allowed here. It was Roddenberry's idea, I think, or certainly it is the idea of these producers, there's such a high rate of fluency at this point that there are no bobbles. She simply is an extremely articulate commander, and beyond that her science language has got to have a fluidity and a music of its own. So that when I'm talking about a plasma field or I'm talking about a nebula or whatever I'm talking about, I know what I'm talking about, and then underneath that I have to know what I'm feeling about it. So that all of this becomes terrifically challenging for me. NV: I was wondering, when you took this part, I don't know if you ever actually sat down with Patrick Stewart or Avery Brooks or any of the people who have stepped into captain's shoes before you. I gather they must have warned you, after what happened with Genevieve Bujold, about the hours you'd be working and what the fandom would be like and all that...what kind of advice would you give someone, when Paramount announces Voyager: The Next Generation, about what to expect, trying to be the captain? KM: What would I say to someone coming into this position? You'd better be dedicated, because it's the only thing that will save you. It better be about the work, or you'll die. It can't be about money and celebrity. It would be absolutely foolish of me to try to do that at this point in my life. What's beautiful about this is that I love this character and I love this company, and I believe it is very possible to raise Voyager to a critical level that Star Trek has not seen before. So that's what I'm thinking about. And you know, all that fandom thing hasn't happened to me. Hardly at all. NV: It's funny, because I get daily feedback about what people think about you! KM: But I'm not recognized in public the way I guess the gentlemen were. No, I think I have a very different persona in public. I mean, it happens occasionally, but hardly often, and my life when I leave there is my own again. NV: I've heard you say mixed things about cons: both that you enjoy doing them and that they leave you completely drained... KM: Well, I think that there's a danger in them if they're used the wrong way by the actor. I mean, I don't view myself as a celebrity, I view myself as an actor, so for me to go to a convention and be paid a rather significant sum of money merely to be lauded is difficult for me, it's not my background. I sort of feel like I should do at least a Shakespearean monologue or something. And yet when I get there it's fascinating and of course it's incredibly uplifting to be unconditionally accepted like that. I'm used to being so criticized, you see, to be carried along on that wave of support is very unusual. I think it's very important to give the fans--these passionate hobbyists, as I prefer to call them-- NV: I don't think most fans view the term 'fan' as an insult. KM: No, but there should be integrity involved. In other words, when I show up at these things, I would like to have a very rich and interesting conversation with the audience and I find that I'm tired at the end of them, and then there's a Monday morning 4 a.m. call and nine pages to shoot, and for myself I have to be careful. Others find it very easy, a lot of these guys in the company, it's nothing to them, but it's a lot for me. NV: Do you have the most young kids of anyone in the cast? KM: I'm the only one who has kids, except for Picardo and Robbie McNeill, but they've got wives. I'm alone. So I have the fullest plate. {Kate 8x10} NV: Somebody said to ask you what you do in your free time--I sort of laughed, do you have any free time? KM: I don't really have much. What I do love to do is read, and I love to cook and entertain which has been a big part of my life, always. So it's a sorrow to me not to be able to do that on a regular basis. And it is a tragedy that I cannot read as voraciously as I once did. NV: What are your favorite reading genres? KM: I read biographies and autobiographies almost exclusively, unless some novel is getting terrific play. Right now I'm reading the life of Evelyn Waugh and this is a wonderful biography. And the life of Graham Greene--which is fascinating, my assistant went out and got it for me, actually quite a diabolical person. So I read a lot, and I value my friendships which are few but intimate and profound, and of course I adore my kids. NV: Do you ever sleep? KM: It's a complete schedule. Sleep takes a back seat. I'm pretty sleep-deprived by the end of the week. NV: What do think right now the show is really on a roll with and really doing well, and what do you think could be improved, the things you go in and say, oh, we have to work on this? KM: I always say we have to work on the bridge stuff. That could suffer a bit from cardboard cutout stuff--everybody at their respective console reacting in a predictable manner. I don't think it should be predictable. I think there should be a lot of second-guessing. It should be like a symphony of scientific thought. And I think that there should be more movement and fluidity on the ship. The reactions should be quick. NV: It seems like Voyager is doing that better than the other shows did. KM: Well, because I think we fight more for it. I'm certainly adamant about what goes on on the bridge. I mean, these poor directors come in and they've got their shots lined up, and I say, well, you know, I thought about this, let's try this. And they very graciously often--not defer to me, but they certainly let me try it my way and usually I get my way because I know what she would do. NV: It looks like the shooting on Voyager has a lot less two-shot back and forth... KM: Yes, we use a lot of dolly shots, we're bringing the crane in, we're doing a lot of hand-held, which makes the corridor stuff come alive, and I get right into that too. I'm pretty involved in just about every aspect of this. NV: Do you have any plans or interest in directing? KM: No. But I have intense interest on the subjective level, which takes me of course right into whatever--like the other day there was a hand-held shot, long, sweeping around many corridors--I get into it, I say, let's try this, let's back this up, let's do that, let's end here--I mix it up with the D.P. and the director and we come up with something more exciting. NV: Do you critique your own work? Do you watch the finished episodes really carefully? KM: I watch the episodes when they air. I'm better than I used to be, Michelle, I used to be an appalling person in that regard, you know, face buried in the hand sort of thing, and it's still hard. It's still hard because the joy for me, the liquid lightning for me, is in the work itself, which is when somebody says 'Action' and then I go. In retrospect it's very hard for me to look and not be altogether too critical. And not merely on the level of vanity but, you know, why didn't you do that, you had the opportunity to try that, what's wrong with you? I can be pretty unforgiving of myself. But I've been pleased with her progress because I haven't let down. I mean, I put my war paint on when I go in there. I fight for her. I fight for them. I fight for my relationships with them. And they're right there, this company's terrific. NV: I know you told TV Guide that you hoped they were going to deepen Janeway's relationships with the crew. What exactly did you mean by that? What do you see changing, or developing? KM: Well, I see it as a compelling family drama, if I were to use--right, this is a family on the ship. And what makes it compelling is the interpersonal relationships. I'd like to see not the friction, not the conflict, but the essential differences between Chakotay and myself explored and personalized, my history with Tuvok revealed--why this strong allegiance? Let's have a couple of episodes delineating the importance of this relationship--so much is unspoken, let's go back and figure out why that was--I love Tuvok. And of course as a person I'm drawn to some of them simply by virtue of the chemistry between us, you know, I cannot be in a room with Ethan Phillips without wanting to go places, and those scenes have a loveliness about them, I think. I love Roxann, I love her intensity, I'd like to get in there with her, mix it up with her a little bit more. But everybody--it should be ongoing, it should always be the B plot. NV: If I had a criticism of Voyager, it would be that after the second episode the entire Starfleet-Maquis issue pretty much went away, resurfaced for a minute in "State of Flux"... KM: Well, that's what I'm saying about Chakotay. Let's not forget that he is a renegade and a fierce warrior. I would like to see that part of his nature. I said to Jeri Taylor, 'What would happen if he countermanded my orders?' Let's just say I'm indisposed for some reason, Chakotay has a very difficult call to make, he makes it, but in essence it's countermanding Starfleet orders. What would then happen? I mean, let's just go for it. So I think in that way it could be a beautiful and exciting exploration of that dynamic between us. I mean, he's just not going to stand there smiling and accepting everything I say, certainly he has ideas and opinions of his own. And he's a lovely actor, Robert Beltran--what a marvelous presence he has. NV: There are huge numbers of people in your fan club who are wildly in love with him. KM: Yeah, I'll bet! There are huge numbers on the Paramount lot who are wildly in love with him too! NV: But you don't think he and Janeway are going to run off together. KM: No. Janeway's not going to cross that line, ever. NV: A lot of your fans will be very disappointed to hear that, but I'll pass it on! KM: I just don't think it would be wise. I don't think she would. NV: What do you think will happen because on the one hand they know they're stuck 70 years from home, and on the other hand, half of last season's episodes were about, well, maybe we could get home this way or we could try this...it's almost like it hasn't really sunk in that they're going to spend the rest of their lives out there and die out there, probably. KM: I think you're going to see more of that this season, those ramifications. We have wonderful stuff coming up about people falling in love and having babies on the ship, you know, we have to start thinking in terms of the future of the ship: if we don't get home, this means loosening up the protocol, this means changing the rules, this also means I think that relationships by necessity would take on a different dynamic. If you know the chances are that you're not going to get home, or if that is truly the dilemma, you're bound to go places with people that you wouldn't under normal circumstances. So they can be richly explored. I think you'll see more. You'll also see more investigation--I mean, I'm speaking a bit out of school, you'll have to confirm this with the producers--but I think that there will also be a wonderful warrior-like aspect introduced this season of, well, if we're lost, let's get into it, so that alien confrontations will take on a new life, a new meaning. What could they teach us that we didn't know before and vice versa? How can we transcend this small issue or that ethical dilemma? NV: You think it will hit a point where the journey and not the destination will become the focus. KM: Yes, I mean, I think that this is the most absolutely gorgeous thing about Janeway--you could actually call this tragedy, but being lost, and being essentially responsible for the 150 people on that ship, does not daunt her to the extent that she would give in to it in terms of remorse or depression--in fact, she says to herself, if this is the way it is, then we're going to uncover every stone and look into every nook and cranny that this galaxy has to offer me--us. She's nothing if not the most ardent iNVestigator. So I think that's always there. NV: I realize that this is one of those things where you have your ideas and the producers may have their own ideas so who knows what's going to happen, but do you see her as having had a domestic side which she had to give up when they got lost? What do you think was the biggest thing she sacrificed when she gave the order to fire on the array? KM: Oh, I think quickly what went through her mind was goodbye to her lover, the possibility of having a child, her parents. She's deeply rooted on the earth. But as Jung says, she's also deeply conflicted. Science is the future, and that's the decision she makes. NV: Do you think she has the equivalent of an Indiana Jones-level fear of snakes, or something that she's terrified of running into out there? KM: Yes: loss of control. And I think she's ever aware of that possibility. We just completed an episode where I lose it. NV: Can you talk about it? KM: It's called 'Persistence of Vision'--a telepath takes over the ship and he presents himself to me as my lover, the guy I left on Earth. Overwhelming. And other people take shape in front of me and I fear that I'm losing control, which could mean the demise of the entire ship. So it's a very diabolical thing for Janeway--and delicious to play. I had a couple of reshoots on this one, Michelle! 'OK, that was a little over the top...' [Kate gets warned that we're running out of time] NV: OK, I'll ask quickly: If you were going to tell one thing to all the young girls about what you see as the future for women out there, what would you say? KM: I would say this: I would say be careful, make the distinction between what the world suggests you should do and what you know you must do. Be passionate about whatever it is you choose. Don't buy into the lingo of the world. NV: Which is what? KM: 'Come on, ladies, you can do the workplace, you can do home, you can do it all, go out and get a job, wear a hat, wear a tie, be a guy, be a thing'--I mean, I think, be careful, remember that the greatest privilege we know is love, it was ever thus and it shall be ever thus, and the only way to supplement that is with something about which you are so passionate that you must do it. It's what Joseph Campbell says when he says, 'Follow your bliss.' Make sure it's bliss you're following. NV: It's hard to know sometimes. KM: It's not that hard to know. [Sound of one of Kate's kids bellowing "MOM!" in the background] I'm coming, sweetheart! NV: I'll let you go--I have two very quick questions. You can scream at me if you want about this one, but several people asked me to find out what time you were born so they can do your chart. I told them I was not going to ask Captain Janeway about astrology... KM: I was born at seven o'clock in the morning on a Wednesday. I think. But you should ask my mother--my mother knows all of these things. NV: Thanks! If I ever speak to your mother I'll be sure to bring it up! The other thing I wanted to ask you was whether we, as your fan club, can do anything for you? KM: No, I must say that I am so flattered, Michelle, and so delighted to always get this, and I mean I read this like...well, I lock myself in my trailer. You give me a lot of insights and you help me understand...I must say that it's a wonderful voice that you're expressing. And so I thank you for it. NV: You're very welcome. It's a lot of voices, not just mine. I realize that we just sat here and talked the entire time about Voyager and Janeway, but there are a lot of people who have been watching you since Ryan's Hope or since Heartbeat who call me and say, 'Is there any way to get ahold of those videos...' KM: Yes? This is completely uplifting to me. NV: I should say this, before you have to get off the phone: I sent out this big note on the net, does anyone have questions for Kate [for this interview], and mostly what we got were statements. Tell her we love her, tell her we think she's wonderful, tell her we think she's doing a great job. KM: Please tell them how grateful I am. Just say thank you to these ladies and gentlemen, whoever they are, and that it's very helpful to me, and very uplifting...it's a privilege. *KATHRYN JANEWAY, FEMINIST HEROINE* JANEWAY/CHAKOTAY (YES, THAT WAY) By Susan Johnson I want to make it clear that this entire column is our dear Editor's fault. :-) I wrote and asked her whether she knew about any fan stories about Janeway and Chakotay, or should I say Janeway/Chakotay, in the kinds of situations they would never do on the show. If you know what I mean, and a lot of you do know what I mean because you post them and I see your names in here. So I might have thought it was just my own dirty mind if it wasn't for that. A bunch of people I know were doing a Touchy-Feely Count even before Now Voyager was, so I knew I wasn't crazy thinking the captain touches her first officer a lot, but I still thought it was my own wishful thinking that there was anything going on there. But it seems like a lot of other people think so too, or at least they want there to be. I was sort of a P/C fan [for the uninitiated, that's Picard/Crusher--Beverly, not Wesley--as in "they confessed their love, got married and lived happily ever after"--ed.] but I never really got into it that much because they did it all wrong on the show. First season Crusher was in love with Picard, then they were just friends, then Picard was in love with her but she wasn't in love with him, then they dropped the whole thing until "All Good Things" when they were married and then they dropped it again in the movie. I read some of the fan stories about them, but they weren't that good because when they were sexy or interesting it's because Picard was out of character and not so uptight. I didn't really think I was going to get into Voyager except Robert Beltran is so gorgeous ;-) and I remember thinking, Chakotay and Janeway, naaaaah right from the beginning. But I have watched my favorite episodes at least ten times apiece now and been collecting "proof," and here's what I decided: Chakotay is definitely in love with Janeway, even if she's not in love with him because of that guy with the dog back home. You get the first hint of this in "Parallax" when she winks at him after they were fighting and Chakotay gives her one of those grins. And then later when they're flirting in engineering about who would serve under who. When Chakotay was teaching Janeway about her animal guide in "The Cloud" they were very intense together, that's one of the episodes where she touches him a lot, and in "Phage" he was flirting with her too. Even in "Ex Post Facto" when he told her about Maquis strategies and she said that if she were in command he would have been arrested, she puts her arm around him. She also touched him a lot in "Emanations" and who can forget the end of "Cathexis" where she had her hands all over his bare chest. But that was all last season and I figured they'd probably drop it this year. Janeway will fall in love with that guy on the holodeck and Chakotay will probably meet some woman on a planet like Kirk and Riker always did. But then I watched "The 37s" and I changed my mind again, plus all the people who got excited about it on the net. They were saying 1) that Chakotay kept smiling at Janeway the whole episode 2) the scene in her ready room where she was saying that she really wanted to stay he seemed to be agreeing with her and then when she said she wanted to go home, he agreed with that, too. He just gets this light in his face when he's talking to her. 3) He touched HER when they were going to go into the cargo bay together to see if the crew was staying or leaving, and before that when they were talking about who might leave the ship, he was telling her that there was a Maquis officer who was in love with a Starfleet officer who might want to settle down. So I think there's a lot of evidence that Chakotay has feelings for Janeway, and I hope they do something with this on the show. [Long editorial aside: Kate Mulgrew's comment on the subject was, "Janeway's not going to cross that line, ever." I almost ran Susan's {Janeway and Chakotay in The 37s} letter along with the innuendo on the Funny Pages, but then I started to think about how often the powers that be at Paramount have disregarded what female viewers want to see, out of concern for that all-important young male demographic, and I couldn't bring myself to do the same. I'm torn between the urge to refute Susan so the producers don't throw Chakotay into the arms of the first available alien bimbo--that's what Tom Paris is for!--versus the desire to point out that if she weren't on to something, there wouldn't be an entire message board on this topic on America Online. And just look at those "37s" reviews. The reasons for agreeing with Kate are simple: we've never had a female regular on Star Trek who really had independent sexuality, separate from all the guys with power over her. Uhura had Kirk, Chapel had Spock, Crusher had Picard, Troi had Riker, Kira had Bareil, and both Kira and Dax had Sisko in at least one universe. So if J/C would bring about a diminished Janeway who's going to fall victim to accusations that she's too sentimental and can't hack it alone, I vote against pursuing the relationship on the show. I also have little faith in the ability of many viewers of our own century to respect a man taking orders from a woman he's involved with, and that is obviously a necessary prerequisite. On the other hand, I keep coming back to something else Kate said--"The greatest privilege we know is love, and the only way to supplement that is with something about which you are so passionate that you must do it"--and I can't help but wonder if she really wants to see Janeway maintain some abstract ideal of career decorum, even if Janeway loves the work, at the cost of emotional intimacy for the rest of her life. It's not a fair trade, for the captain of the Voyager or for any of us. I don't think it's a victory for feminism to suggest that women--or men--are better off living and dying alone just to demonstrate their independence and self-possession. The old Trek guys all had women to lean on, and I've never heard anyone question their ability to command as a result. Kirk and Picard's inability to deal with relationships got grotesque--in Generations it was downright misogynistic--and if Trek is ever going to give us a long-term relationship between lead characters, it makes sense that it would be on Voyager, since they're out there for 70 years. And it also makes sense for Janeway. She's not Picard, she's a people person--as we've all noted, she's warm, she touches people, she knows when to let down the decorum, she's capable of being affectionate--even flirting--without losing any of her authority. I don't know that I agree with Susan that we first get the urge to consider this during "Parallax." I think a lot of people got it in "Caretaker" when he said "She's the captain" (possibly the sexiest three words ever uttered on network). I also think it's remarkable that Chakotay has not disagreed with a single command decision that Janeway has made--he backed her completely when she blew up the Array, we didn't hear a peep from him on Sikarius--it's odd enough that they don't quibble more about the little things, but really astounding how readily he's conceded the big issues to her without even asking questions. He's more Starfleet than a lot of Starfleeters--Tuvok and Carey have been less loyal than Chakotay. He's seemed to deal better withbeing stranded in the Delta Quadrant than almost anyone else, didn't say a word in "Eye of the Needle" about how anxious he was to get home, didn't fight much for it in "Prime Factors"--and he got over Seska awfully fast. Either he has no personality whatsoever (blame the writers), he's taking heavy doses of valium, or he'd rather sit next to Janeway on that bridge for the rest of his life than be anywhere else. Sure, protocol's a problem, and they might have a big brouhaha if they actually get back to Federation space. But from their present perspectives, they're likely to be out there for the rest of their lives. No one is going to expect the commanding officers to remain in command mode 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, for 70 years, not if they want them to continue to function adequately. It's not that I think Janeway can't hack it alone; it's that I don't want her to have to, based on some ridiculous protocol. And Chakotay's a dream guy for a feminist heroine--forgetting that he's smart and strong and good-looking, he's a natural leader who's nonetheless willing to cede his authority over his own crew for the common good, even to work for an organization he disavowed. No macho crap there, no fierce Maquis warrior baggage. Just self-possession and confidence. I've heard complaints that Janeway's not military enough, because she touches people and cries in front of subordinates and asks for second opinions. Maybe that doesn't wash now in the U.S. armed forces, but there's no reason to believe that our values about decorum and leadership won't alter by the 24th century the same way Trek assumes that we'll have eradicated racism, sexism, and speciesism. Can't we assume that our values about love will alter as well--that abuse, homophobia, and harrassment will become things of the past, that behavior like Kirk's and Riker's will be acceptable precisely because it's not common and therefore not terribly threatening to women? I look at Janeway and Chakotay and think, these people respect each other, they like each other, they're friends, they trusted each other instinctively from the start, they agree on the important issues. And the chemistry is, well, hard not to notice; surely people on their ship gossip as much as some of us have. Is there any stronger basis for a relationship? We have no role models to depict love between true equals; I suspect none of us have ever seen such a partnership thrive in the public and private spheres with equal success. But that doesn't mean we can't hope. Isn't dreaming a better future what Star Trek is about?] {More Janeway and Chakotay from The 37s} THANK YOU, CAPTAIN JANEWAY (AN OPEN LETTER TO KATE MULGREW) Dear Captain Janeway, I am writing you this letter through your alter-ego, Kate Mulgrew, because I need you to know how you have enhanced the life of some very special people -- namely, my music students. First, some background. I teach music and drama to 550 students who range in age from 3-14. A few years ago, knowing my love of things Star Trek, my students presented me with an end-of-the-play gift of two stand-up cardboard figures -- Captain Picard and Mr. Spock. That was the beginning of a new direction for my classroom. The "theme" of the music room became "To Boldly Sing What No One Has Sung Before" (much to the chagrin of the English teachers!) My room is now populated with cardboard cutouts, as well as a 5-foot Enterprise that was carved out of styrofoam by a creative friend. When the students come into the room, they are free to roam the room and choose assignments which are posted on the various characters -- e.g. Spock may tell them to research ancient Earth Baroque music, or Deanna Troi may tell them to compose a song describing how they feel that day. As the years have progressed, I have watched the children -- even the ones who don't watch Star Trek -- begin to empathize with particular characters. (For this reason, I haven't added a "Worf" yet -- I'm not ready for a room full of young Klingons!) This brings me to the present. My female students have often complained that the boys have all of the 'good' characters. While Dr. Crusher, Kira and Deanna have satisfied some of them, I have a large number of girls who long for the example of a woman in command. While their school-lives and most of their home-lives give them examples of women who are warm, nuturing, and powerful, they have not often seen this reflected in today's media. This year, thanks to you, I will be able to give them their role-model. When my students walk into my room, they will be greeted by a new cutout -- Kathryn Janeway now stands behind my desk. I'm not yet sure what discussions will be generated by her presence, but I know they will be lively ones. My students, both male and female, are growing up knowing that women and men can be healers (Crusher and Bashir), engineers (Geordi and B'Elanna) and, now, commanders (Picard and Janeway). They are learning that their choices in life can be dictated by the voices in their soul, not the voices of those who will restict them because of their gender. So thank you Captain Janeway. Thank you for refusing to be less than you are. Thank you for a command style that is true to the best of being powerful and female. Thank you for giving the hard orders, and for noticing when a nervous young ensign needs a reassuring smile. Thank you trusting those around you, and being confident enough in yourself to show your sorrow when you are betrayed. Thank you for respecting all of those under your command -- male and female, human or not. Thank you for not being perfect -- for admitting that your second-in-command may know something you don't. And finally, thank you for being a hero to one of the most important segments of our society -- the young men and women who will be the co-creators of the 21st century. They will need their visions, and knowing that you exist, in whatever reality, will give those visions direction, and give hope to those of us who will turn the world over to them and watch what they make of it. Sincerely, Joan Testin *BOOKS, COMICS, CARDS, AND AUDIO* [It appears that we may have a long wait for Voyager comics; Malibu/Marvel cancelled the series and now Paramount has failed to renew the licenses for any of the old Trek comics series (so you better get your DS9 Malibus now!) The new collector cards, however, will be out in November, and the 1996 calendars are already in the bookstores!] VIOLATIONS by Susan Wright; Pocket Books 1995. Book #4 of the Voyager series finally begins to hit the mark where the others have thus far failed. It seems evident to me that the author has had the luxury of seeing at least several more episodes than her predecessors. The characters are presented in a much more "canon"-like light. It is easy for an author to fall into the trap of having a story revolve around one central character, but Susan Wright manages to find equal time and situations for everyone. Chakotay is finally given some serious duties as a First Officer, and faces the monumental task of having decide the pros and cons of Starfleet versus Maquis tactics in the absence of the Captain. Ultimately his choices are a blending of the two but come perilously close to crossing that invisible line. One nit: early on it is established that the Doctor's name is Zimmerman. We all know now that this will most likely not be his name; of course, the author had no way of knowing, so this is a forgivable mistake! Janeway and Torres show major growth similar to what we've seen in episodes like "The Cloud"--a mutual acknowledgment and respect for each others' abilities--revealing how similar they really are despite their outward stances. But poor Tom Paris. He's been such a screw-up in his past, and is forever attempting to redeem himself. It seems no matter how well-intentioned he is, he just can't seem to do the right thing. Good! We need this character to retain his edge. The temptation to either have him portrayed as the perpetual playboy or redeem him completely would be a waste of a wonderful character. His unorthodox pairing with Neelix as they visited the seedy bars of The Hub was inspired. Ah...Neelix--he's so certain that every man on the ship is after his beloved Kes, and even Harry Kim is under suspicion this time around. The action towards the end is extremely well-played out. We get to see a working relationship between Chakotay, Paris and Tuvok that bodes well for the future of the Voyager. Let's hope that we get to see this not just in the pages of Wright's book. --Becky Olsen Voyager #4--Violations is a very convincing adventure if you are able to keep up with all the political jargon. I was thoroughly hooked by this additon to the Voyager series from page one. All it took was Kim's comment that Janeway "wants to march us in there bold as brass," and I knew it would be an interesting story. For the most part, I was not disappointed. Wright does a convincing job of capturing the different personalities of the crew. The first three chapters are full of some great bantering among the top players. Voyager is forced to negotiate with thieves to recover the stolen main computer, and in order to accomplish this they are forced directly into a political battle which could destroy them. One of the positive aspects of this book is the focus on some of the key players. Paris is given a substantial role, but is portrayed as a weakling. It would be a well-deserved change if Paris were given more credit for his skills as a pilot and not as a cheat. Chakotay is hardly involved in the proceedings, a grave disappointment considering that he is Janeway's right hand man. Wright has Janeway calling him "Number One"; I suppose this may be a throwback to her days penning TNG novels, but it's a serious flaw for Chakotay's faithful followers. However, Wright does a wonderful job at capturing Janeway's authoritative presence. Not once are we forced to see her back down in negotiations, and her emotional control is evident in her dealings with the Tutopans. The novel's political jargon may prove alienating to some readers. If you're able to make it through the middle five chapters you will do just fine...I actually dozed off in a few areas, but the reference to computer's mainframe is well worth the struggle. Wright actually brings the main computer to life, comparing its repair to brain surgery. It is very interesting to "get inside" the computer and see how the Doctor and Kes bring it back to life. Of course, they don't do it alone. Kim and Torres are involved too, but in very minor roles. Probably the biggest disappointment of all was Wright's treating B'Elanna Torres as some sort of emotional misfit. She portrays her as "always on the edge," and it takes away from the focus of the situation in some parts. I find it a very unfair interpretation of her. All in all, Violations is a vast improvement over previous Voyager novel Ragnarok. It is a well-written adaptation of relatively new characters. I can only imagine the books will continue to get better as the characters develop. It is worth your hard-earned bucks to add this to your collection. --Donna Wittwer From the point of view of the diehard Janeway fan, the most significant fact about Violations may be that the good captain gets a cup of good coffee. The question of how inhabitants of the Delta Quadrant acquired the specs is raised but not answered. There are two main topics in Violations--the effects which the loss of Voyager's main computer has on the ship, and the more or less diplomatic efforts to get the computer back. The former topic naturally involves large doses of Treknobabble, rather well-done in the opinion of this reviewer, but then this reviewer is a historian. The latter introduces us to a new Delta Quadrant society. The author does a commendable job of giving us a lot of information about Tutopan society, and raising issues relevant to our own, without getting sidetracked from the story or slowing down the pace by giving detailed descriptions. She also explores the interesting question, so far rather neglected in the series, of how Voyager can engage in necessary trade despite limited resources and the restrictions imposed by the Prime Directive. The characters don't get lost in the scenery. Neelix, Kes, and Kim are handled quite well. Paris plays a major role and, except for a few awkward bits toward the beginning, seems right on. Torres is a little two-dimensional, though she has some good scenes with Janeway. Chakotay and Tuvok are both in character, but we don't get much sense of what makes either one of them tick (and there is not much fodder here for the J/C crowd). Janeway plays a central role in the story; she gets to display a variety of skills and talents, from diagnosing computer problems to conducting difficult negotiations to knocking people down. This is all done without breaking credibility, a hazard of which the author is evidently aware: "If he was one of those legendary Starfleet heroes they told you about all the time in the Academy, he'd know exactly which circuits to reroute to [make] a beacon that would call the entire Federation across the galaxy to his rescue. But he wasn't a hero, he was Tom Paris, and he'd have just as much luck performing heart surgery on himself." Violations has the usual shortcomings of its genre. The writing is serviceable but not exactly brilliant (and occasionally shaky on the finer points of grammar, such as the subjunctive tense). The average chapter length is just over 11 pages and most of the chapters contain scene changes, so evidently the perception on the part of the editors at Pocket Books that Trekkies suffer from attention deficit disorder continues. (This is still better than Ragnarok's 9.23 pages and The Escape's 10.17, but below Caretaker's 12.64, for those who are keeping score). There are a couple of annoying references to twentieth-century cultural phenomena so utterly trivial that they will be forgotten by the mid-21st century, let alone by the late 24th. To be fair, however, there are only a couple, and the author manages to avoid the use of archaic systems of measurement. Given the circumstances of its production, the book is surprisingly well thought out and evocative, and I would recommend it to all except seriously technophobic Voyager fans. --Jennifer Loehlin *COPYRIGHT VIOLATION CORNER* [Claire Gabriel is one of the legendary Classic Trek fan writers--many of you will know her as the author of "Ni Var" from Star Trek: The New Voyages, and some of you have probably read her award-winning fan novel Simple Gifts or her story collections Quartet and The Porcelain of Twilight. I actually "met" Claire several years ago, when I read SG and sent her a letter about it, and we corresponded for awhile. So you can imagine how thrilled I was when she found our web site on the net and revealed that she'd been contemplating Voyager stories! Disclaimer: Paramount owns the characters, not the story. Now Voyager in no way condones the glamourization of cigarettes herein!] FIREFLIES by Claire Gabriel (Author's Note: The white tower in this story is prominently visible in the TNG episode, "The First Duty," between the Academy campus and what appears to be the Golden Gate bridge. I have no idea what the tower's function might be in the 24th century.) They were next year's Nova Squadron, with that whole year to enjoy it. And he was their squadron commander. When he had come to the Academy as a first-year cadet, a year or two older than most of his classmates but just as homesick, he'd felt like a misplaced person and even questioned his decision to join Starfleet. Here there was no life of the spirit that he could discern, and being cooped up in rooms was almost more than he could bear. When he'd summoned his wolf, she appeared agitated and distracted to the point where they could barely communicate, and there seemed to be no one else he could communicate with in this hive of concrete and glass. But over the three intervening years, all that had changed. Others--first his teachers and then his fellow cadets--began to look at him as though they saw something compelling that he himself had never seen in the mirror. And the constant Starfleet emphasis on esprit de corps and personal bonding had drawn him in just as it did the cadets who came from far more distant planets than Dorvan V. His roommate, Jake Cullen, was a cocky womanizer, the type he himself reflexively disliked. But proximity, tolerance for one another's weaknesses and respect for one another's strengths had triumphed over the countless arguments they'd had for almost as many different reasons, and until tonight he had believed that he and Jake were friends. The five of them had been celebrating together all afternoon, higher on being Nova Squadron than they were on 20-proof canteen synthehol. He could not remember ever having laughed that much, even found himself clowning around as much as Jake did. The others had been as delighted as he was at the discovery that he could entertain them even more than they entertained him. And then Jake had dropped the words "Kolvoord Starburst" into the middle of their jubilation, and everything had exploded and gone to dust. Now the spring sun was setting beyond the Golden Gate, and their golden day was over--because he himself had ended it with the words But five people died. Slouched miserably in the chair with his feet on the desk, he gazed out the window as he listen to Jake pace back and forth across their dorm room behind him, adrenaline still flowing. How could this impasse have been avoided? Maybe if he had waited, said nothing this afternoon, let the celebration run its course-- "I just don't understand you, man!" Jake rounded on him from near the doorway. He reluctantly lowered his feet, rose, turned the chair and straddled it, now facing his roommate. "You were livin' it up too, having a ball just like the rest of us, and bam--all of a sudden you get that hard-ass look on your face and the party is over." "Five people died doing what you want to do." It seemed to him that he had been saying it over and over like a mantra, but nobody had heard him yet. And apparently no one would. Their imaginations fired and their reality on a roll, the others had been as startled, and then as angry, as Jake had. Not as much by what he'd said, he realized now, as by how he'd said it, and when. Raining on all their parades at once.... "We'd have a whole year to practice." Jake's almost-black face looked faintly mottled with agitation, his dark eyes bright with anger. "With the team we've got, we'd have it aced in six months." "You're talking about igniting plasma exhaust with five ships almost on top of each other." Keep your voice down, he told himself. Just keep it reasonable, and he'll understand. "There's a reason it was banned--" "Man, we could light up the sky!" "--all five of them died, Jake!" "That was decades ago. Our proximity alarms are much more sensitive now. We could--" "No way." "Look, just think ab--." "I. Said. No. Way." Their gaze held, and then Jake looked down. He took another turn around the room, and then asked, with his back still turned, "You figuring on staying in tonight? 'Cause if you are, I'm outta here 'till curfew." "Forget it." He rose, rotating head and shoulders to ease the tension in his neck, and moved into the sleeping area. From his top drawer, he took three small objects. One, a jar cover, went in the back pocket of his pants, the other two into the breast pocket of his T-shirt. Special treat for a special day. Too bad he hadn't bummed a few more. It was going to be long night. Dusk was creeping across the common and up the dormitory lawns as he bounded down the stairs. As he stepped out of the dorm, he grimaced and allowed himself the instant gratification of smacking his palm hard against the door jam, then broke into a jog, heading across the common for the tall, narrow white tower between the campus and the Bridge. Then, although it was almost dark, he noticed that Boothby was still digging away at one of his mini-gardens. Grinning a little for the first time in several hours, he swerved off the path and jogged on toward the flower bed--a slim figure in dark pants and a white T-shirt with "Lead, follow, or get out of the way" imprinted across the back of it. * * * Cadet Kathryn Janeway had not realized that Julia Snowden was in her dorm room when she entered it. Her roommate, Alexandra, was sitting in the middle of the floor with tapes and class notes spread out all around her. Although it was Saturday, final exams for graduating cadets were the following week, and all of them were priming for the home stretch. Kathryn herself had been studying in the library all day, and she dropped down at the edge of the chaos with a sigh. "Hi. You feel like going out for pizza or something?" A roar vaguely resembling music pounded down from the ceiling, and she frowned, running her hand across her forehead. "Sounds good." Zan smiled wearily. "How's statistical mechanics?" "It's been the pits since September, and it still is." She sighed again, shaking her hair back from her face. "I'm starved. You want to go right away?" "Um, Julia's here." Zan jerked her head toward the closed bathroom door. "We thought we'd go eat in a little while." When Kathryn rose abruptly and headed for the bedroom, Zan went on coaxingly, "Kathryn, please come with us." Pausing to squint up at the ceiling, Kathryn knocked briefly on the wall. "Carl?" No answer. "Jason?" "Yo!" drifted through the pounding of drums. "Keep it down, okay? Zan's got company." "Yo!" The volume decreased abruptly. "Thank you!" She sang the words out, smiling briefly, and then turned to face her roommate, no longer smiling. "You have got to be kidding." "'Zan's got company,'" Zan quoted softly. There was a silence between them. "Do you have any idea what it would mean to me if the two of you could be friends?" Kathryn rolled her eyes and headed for the bedroom again. "What she did to you--that was almost four years ago. She's changed--" "The hell she has!" Kathryn whirled, eyes flashing now, hair swirling around her shoulders. But before she could continue, Julia walked out of the bathroom. "Kathryn! Hi!" Even to Zan, the greeting was too high-pitched, too over- enthusiastic to be completely genuine. Petite, blonde, startlingly pretty in her perfect, newly-refreshed make-up, Julia ambled toward Kathryn. "Studying hard?" Leaning back against the door frame, Kathryn folded her arms across the chest of her sweatshirt. "Hi," she replied tonelessly. "Yes." "Y'know, you're such an inspiration to all of us." Zan winced involuntarily. Funny that Julia never laid it on quite this thick with anybody but Kathryn. She was like a cat, unerringly picking out the one person in the room who abhors cats and leaping gleefully into that particular lap. Kathryn bowed her head slightly, touched her loosely curled fingers to her mouth, and raised her head again, her gaze never wavering. "Julia," she asked softly, "what is it you want now?" "Nothing!" Julia glanced suspiciously at Zan, who was looking guiltily at Kathryn. "What makes you think I want something?" Kathryn smiled slightly. "I can't imagine." Julia turned abruptly to Zan, dropping all pretense of civility toward Kathryn. "Are we going to grab a bite or not?" "I guess--I don't think--" "Don't let me keep you. 'Bye, Julia." Kathryn's gaze moved to Zan's, and again she smiled faintly, this time with regret, and shook her head slightly. It's okay, the blue eyes seemed to say. I don't understand you, but it's okay. Then she moved into the bedroom and closed the door half way, preserving her own privacy without shutting Zan out. "Go downstairs and wait for me," Zan said quietly. "I want to talk to her for a minute." "Why bother? There's no way she's going to--." "Not about that. Go on. I'll catch up." When Julia had let herself out, Zan went into the bedroom where Kathryn was in the process of pulling her sweatshirt over her head, and sat down on her own bunk. "She wants you to study statistical mechanics with her sometime before the exam Monday." "In your dreams, Alexandra!" Kathryn yanked the sweatshirt away from her hair and flung it on her bunk. "You can't think I'd fall for that again after all this time." "She really has changed." "Uh-huh. To know her is to love her, right?" Counting off on her fingers: "She's changed. She's fun to be with. She's smart. You've told me, okay?" The hands flew upward in exasperation. "Kath, she's in over her head. She has to have stat mec to graduate and it isn't even part of her specialty. What will she DO if you don't help her?" Rummaging in a drawer, Kathryn made a semi-articulate sound that Zan could not quite hear. "What?" "Pout." Still in her jeans, Kathryn floated a sleeveless, sky-blue tunic over her head, flipped her hair out from under it and, eyes dancing now, sat down on the bunk next to her friend and squeezed her arm. "Think of it, Zanny. We have the opportunity of a lifetime to assist Cadet Snowden in developing one of her special talents. With a little help, she'll be the best damn pouter in Starfleet--if she doesn't get canned first." Zan did not smile. "We can't all measure up to your standards, you know. And Starfleet isn't the universe." Her hand still on Zan's arm, Kathryn stared, the light dying out of her eyes. After a moment, she said, "This isn't about Starfleet. It's about me." "Maybe. Like Julia said, you're an inspiration to all of us. But what are we to you? Children of lesser gods?" She patted Kathryn's hand, still resting on her arm. "She's waiting downstairs. Sure you don't want to come along?" "No." Zan rose and moved toward the bedroom door. "Zan?" She turned. "Thanks. For inviting me." After her roommate had left, Kathryn sat with her elbows in her knees and her hands covering her face for a few minutes. Then she sighed, rose, took a small paper cylinder and a smaller plastic cup from the drawer, bound her hair in a ponytail and left the dorm. Her appetite for food was spoiled for the time being, and she needed to get her thoughts together before she did any more studying. * * * Like most other venues where a large number of young people gather, the Academy was intermittently the site of a minor outbreak of drug use. The latest fad in that spring of 2353 was tobacco smoking. Since nicotine is not a hallucinogen, the powers that be satisfied themselves with prohibiting smoking campus-wide and turned a blind eye to the occasional minor infraction. Although almost no one bought cigarettes, many scrounged them, one or two at a time, from the few who did. And everyone who indulged knew where you could smoke without getting caught. On her way there, Kathryn spied Boothby still digging under a tree even though it was almost dark. While still some distance away, she saw a jogger who had stopped to talk to him move on in the direction she was going. Even though she was walking rapidly, she thought the cadet in the dark pants and white T-shirt was too far away to hear when she called, "Hi, Boothby. Aren't you at it pretty late?" She did not see the jogger look back briefly over his shoulder, and then continue on. The old man had gone back to his work, but now he looked up, squinted at her, and smiled. "Evening, Katydid. Just finishing up here." Moving closer, she sighed in irritation as much as amusement. "Are you teasing me?" "Teasing?" His face was turned away, but she knew he was still smiling. "I'm not an insect." She dropped to her knees and sat back on her heels near where he was still pulling weeds. "Why won't you tell me why you call me that?" "It's how you walk," he said. When she gave a startled squeak, he grinned at her over his shoulder and then went on yanking at a particularly stubborn weed. "Katy did." Yank. "Katy does." Another yank. "Katy will do." The weed came out of the ground, spattering dirt over his already grimy overalls. "Well, enough for today." And he dusted off his hands and began heave himself to his feet. Now amused rather than irritated, she rose, took his arm, and pulled. "You'll make me self-conscious." "Fat chance." He pointed his finger at her nose. "Mark my words, young lady. Someday you'll be walking across the galaxy like that." "Quadrant." "I know what I meant." The image was arresting, and she smiled a little dreamily until she realized that he was looking down at what she held in her other hand. "That's two of you in one night," he growled, frowning now, all trace of teasing gone from his voice. "This stuff is poison. You kids are out of your minds." "It's been a month or more, and it'll be another month or more before I do it again." "Why do it at all?" "Clears my head. Helps me think. Nicotine is a left-brain stimulant, you know." "Do tell." He snorted. "Well, you're not the only one. Somebody right ahead of you tonight." An oddly uncharacteristic expression crossed his face; if it were anyone but Boothby, she would have called it affection. "Your...predecessor could use a little cheering up, by the way." "I don't feel all that cheery myself." "Could've fooled me." On impulse, she put her arm around his shoulders and kissed his scratchy cheek. "G'night, Boothby, dear." At the touch of her lips, the scratchy cheek smiled. "Take care, Katydid." Half turning as she moved away, she made a playful, dismissing motion with one hand and then strode on toward the tower. Looking after her, Boothby snorted again, murmured "Galaxy is what I meant, dammit," and began to pick up his garden tools, feeling around for them in the darkness. * * * The ladder to the roof of the tower was long and steep, rising almost at right angles to the floor far below. But she had always enjoyed the climb because of the view through the slotted windows in the structure's walls. The white cylinder was dimly lit within, but not enough to interfere with the view. To one side lay the Academy grounds, spread out like her own tiny world within a world, with San Francisco's thousands of lights beyond. To the other side she could see the Bridge, with Marin County in the distance, glittering only slightly less than the city itself. She paused to drink it in, thinking how the megalopolis looked like a star field brought to ground, and then continued her climb toward the trap door that led to the roof. She was almost ready to pull herself up the last few rungs when she was suddenly overcome by memories--not long forgotten, for they were often with her, but of a long-ago time. The beloved female animal presence, familiar of her childhood, seemed to drift down from above, but not with recognition. It was as though she were being sounded, scented, checked out-- "Littlebit?" She whispered the name aloud before she could stop herself, and the presence vanished--now infinitely less real than the wisp of smoke that drifted across the trap door opening, between her and the stars. Deeply shaken, she rested her forehead against the top rung of the ladder, trying to get her bearings. Littlebit was ten years dead, and yet for just a moment, it had been as though she--or something very like her-- Idiot. Determined to throw off the eerie certainty that some large but benign animal had been, for a moment, very near the edge of the trap door, she climbed up the rest of the ladder and pulled herself out onto the tower's roof. It was not until she was sitting on the rim with her feet still dangling over the edge that she saw the cigarette eye glowing in the darkness and remembered that the lone jogger had preceded her here. He was half sitting, half-reclining, with his shoulders propped up against the low wall that edged the roof. The top of the wall was above his head, and there was a small overhang on the inside, so most of him was in deep shadow. She could see clearly only the lower part of his pant legs and his feet, clad in what looked like soft boots. Even his white T-shirt was only a blur; she had the faint impression of dark hair, but it was impossible to see anything dark against the deeper darkness of the wall--only his cigarette, glowing in the shadows like a firefly held still in the hand. As she watched, he raised his hand; the eye grew larger as he inhaled, and then another cloud of smoke floated toward her. "Is there someone else here too?" she blurted, and then put her hand to her mouth. "Not now." Did she only imagine a tinge of regret in his voice? "Oh. Well...." Steadying her hand with an effort, she pulled the cigarette she had brought with her from the pocket of her tunic and self-ignited it, inhaling deeply. "What does 'Not now' mean?" She thought she had seen dark eyes in the brief flare of the self-ignition, but she couldn't be sure. "Who did you think was here?" For a moment she was tempted to snap at him for answering her question with a question, but that would be pointless. "Sure you want to hear it?" "That's up to you." But it seemed to her that his voice smiled in the shadows. "I had this dog when I was a kid. We called her Littlebit, but it was a joke." She inhaled again, smiling, remembering. "She was an Alaskan husky. You know--." The cigarette between her first two fingers, she quickly sketched Littlebit's size in the air, the fiery eye leaving the illusion of a trail across the darkness. "They look sort of like wolves. When I was climbing up the ladder, I thought...." With his cigarette half way to his mouth, he froze. Strange that a body at rest is never completely still, she thought vaguely--not until it goes stiff with tension. "What did you see?" he demanded. It was only a whisper, but the demand was there. "I didn't see anything." Come up here to think a few thoughts, and get caught up in some weird... "Look, can we talk about something else?" Or not talk at all? There was a silence, but he was moving and smoking again. Finally he put his cigarette out, and she realize from the faint sound of scraping against the floor that he too had brought a small container to use as an ashtray. In all the times she had come here, no one else had ever thought to do that; although she could not see them in the dark, she knew from coming here in the daytime that the roof was always littered with butts. "I'm sorry." Pulling one leg up out of the trap door, she rested her elbow on her drawn up knee and ran her fingers across her forehead. Then, realizing for the first time that the faint illumination from the ladder well enabled him to see her even though she could not see him, she looked directly into the darkness where she knew his face would be. "Boothby said you needed cheering up. Can I help?" Silence. "I talked to him right after you--" "I know. I saw you." She frowned. "It was pretty dark." "I could see your hair," he said. Then, before she could think of an answer that made sense: "Did he tell you why?" "Why? Oh--why you needed--no. No, he didn't. You know he'd never violate a confidence." Then she realized that his question had been without tension, almost idle. "Did you ever hear anybody around here talk about trying the Kolvoord Starburst again?" he asked. This too seemed like an idle question, asked to make conversation. But there was an edge to it somehow.... The Kolvoord Starburst? "God, no!" Abruptly, she realized that her cigarette was almost burning one of her fingers, and she ground it out in the container she had brought with her. "They were all killed!" "Yeah." He was silent again, lighting up another cigarette, and she realized that that part of the conversation had ended. It was as though something had been validated, and he was ready to move on. "What did you say when Boothby told you I needed cheering up?" "That I didn't feel very cheery tonight." "Okay," he said. "Your turn." Again it seemed that the shadows were smiling. "I have a friend. My best friend." She pulled both knees up now and rested her chin on them. "My roommate. She's caught in the middle and she wants me to help her, and I want to help her, but I can't." "Between what and what?" "Between me and--" She realized suddenly that no names had been exchanged, and decided in that moment that no names would be. It was the anonymity of their situation that was making it possible for them to talk this way, and Julia was well known on campus, having participated in virtually every extra-curricular activity she was permitted. "And someone she grew up with. Elementary school, high school, that whole bit. It's a GBS situation." She knew that no one at the Academy would have to have GBS explained to him. The Good Buddy Syndrome had been the downfall of more than one bright, talented cadet who was emotionally bound to another, less promising one--always covering, always making excuses, expending quantities of energy on keeping the other afloat. Zan was going to make it through in spite of her attachment to Julia, but there were times when it had been a near thing. "She--my roommate's GB and I can't stand each other." "Why?" It was an obvious question, but the answer was one that she had always had trouble telling anyone about. Only her parents and Zan... "Can I bum a cigarette?" she asked, turning her gaze to the stars. "I'm out," he said softly, regretfully. "I'm sorry." "It's okay." She sighed deeply, resting her chin on her hands once more. "Back in first year, I thought...this person and I were friends. She's real good at..." Not necessary. No point. "I was pretty gullible, and when she asked me to help her get ready for our physics test, I said I would. She gave me a list of questions, very specific questions. She said they were things she needed help on, and asked me to write out the answers for her so she could study them. I did it." She could hear her voice getting unsteady; even the memory still did that to her. "When we all brought up the test on our screens, it was--it was the same list of questions, word for word. She hadn't even changed the sequence. I looked over at her, and the answers I'd written out for her were in a window on her screen." Funny. After almost four years, the pain of Julia's betrayal of her trust could still bring tears to her eyes. "I let her play me for a fool." She waited for the first question that everyone--her parents, Zan--had asked when she told them: How could Julia have gotten the test questions beforehand? And prepared to give the same answer she had given them: How the hell do I know? That's not what matters. But the question never came. Instead, she realized that he was silently holding something out to her. A firefly held in hand. Rising, she walked across the roof and dropped down next to him, her back against the roof's encircling wall. She couldn't see him any better than she could before, could barely see her own hand as she took the cigarette from his fingers, inhaled deeply, and returned it. "Thank you." She knew the smoke must be curling upward over her head, but she couldn't see that either. "I can't forgive her. I want to, for Z--for my friend's sake, but I can't." "For starters," he answered softly, "you could try forgiving yourself." She almost said, "For what?" But she had answered that question: I let her play me for a fool. The cigarette's eye moved toward her again, and she took another drag, her eyes again on the stars. "I suppose." She could not internalize the idea yet; she was suddenly very tired, and she had a great deal of work to do before she could sleep tonight. It was time to go, and for the second time that evening, a cigarette was burning down to her fingers. "Thanks. I'm afraid I killed it." He took the cigarette back in silence, but she sensed he was smiling again as he ground it out and she rose, moving back toward the trap door. Two rungs down, she paused and smiled wistfully back into the darkness. "I won't be able to recognize you if I see you." "I guess not." Now he was enjoying himself, the bastard. "Be that way." In spite of herself, she gave a grin back -- his was infectious, even the dark -- and dropped down the ladder and out of his sight. * * * He remained motionless until he could no longer hear her steps on the ladder. If she were to see and recognize him in the two weeks before she graduated, she might ask someone who he was. Once she knew his name, she might learn that he was next year's Nova Squadron commander, and it wouldn't take her half a second to figure out who had been talking about the Kolvoord Starburst. He could not risk placing his people in jeopardy--especially not when what he and they had been talking about was never going to happen. Finally he moved across the roof, swung himself down, and began a slow and thoughtful descent. He had known who she was all along. Everybody knew who Kathryn Janeway was. But their paths had never crossed because they were in different years and had different specialties: she a scientist, he a pilot and future conn officer. When Boothby had said, "Ah--here comes Katydid, full speed ahead," he had glanced in her direction but felt no wish to encounter her; he was still under the cloud of his altercation with Jake. Starting to move away, he was surprised when Boothby suddenly held up his hand as though struck by an inspiration. "Hold on there, son. Want to meet her?" Something about the idea obviously delighted the old man. Declining, he had gone on his way, only looking back once. But the spirits of his ancestors had had other ideas.... He sighed, shook his head once as though to clear it, and continued his descent down the ladder. She'd obviously come here for the same reason he had; there was nothing fateful about it, and nothing very spiritual about some of the images that had crossed his mind as she'd perched on the edge of the trap door, faintly illuminated from below, in that blue-as-her-eyes tunic that revealed nothing yet somehow everything. Animated. Sparkling with intelligence and energy. Always moving; hardly ever still. Made you wonder how she might move in-- He stopped, clunked his head lightly against the rung opposite his forehead, and half-aloud echoed Jake's words to him earlier: "Oh, man, I don't understand you!" Trouble was, he understood himself only too well--that, and other words, heard much longer ago than tonight and now coming back to him unbidden. As a class assignment, he had once listened to all of James T. Kirk's supplemental logs from Kirk's first five-year mission on the original Enterprise, and a fragment came to him now--words Kirk had spoken to the dangerously powerful adolescent named Charlie who had come aboard from the Antares: "Then I told him, 'There are some things you can have and some things you can't have....'" Putting both hands on one rung of the ladder and straightening his arms, he swing himself slowly back and forth a few times, glancing over his shoulder at the long drop to reality far below--long way to fall if you didn't watch your step--and grinned sheepishly. "Down, Charlie. Down, boy." Then he went on with his descent, his thoughts taking a much more serious turn. How she had sensed the presence of his wolf he had no idea; there was no precedent, and just remembering made the hair rise a little on the back of his neck and along his arms. He had not expected the drug in the cigarette to trigger a vision, since it had never done that to him before. But it had been only a vision; his animal guide could not possibly be present to anyone but himself.... That would be fuel enough for a number of future meditations. Or not. He sighed. Chances were he would never see Kathryn Janeway again in the real--even though now she sat perched on the rim of his life like a star to steer by. That image pleased him immeasurably--because it was a safe one, he thought. At normal ceiling height, he hooked his feet around the sides of the ladder and slid the rest of the way down, landing lightly and bouncing a little on the balls of his feet. Someone had understood--instantly, and without his having to explain at all. Jake would probably sulk and fume for a couple of days, but he could handle that now. He drew a deep breath, let it out, and stretched his cramped muscles. Then, leaping up to brush the top of the doorway with his fingertips as he passed through it, he bounded out into the night. She was still visible, if barely, striding away at what Boothby had called "full speed ahead," the ponytail bouncing. Inexplicably, he laughed aloud, murmured, "Not to worry, Katydid. I'll recognize you," and set off jogging back to where he had left the rest of his life. END *WE ARE FAMILY* Other Star Trek fan clubs you might want to know about! Send SASE for information: VULCAN INSIDERS Official Tim Russ/Tuvok Fan Club P.O. Box 8248 Long Beach, CA 90808 GARRETT WANG INSIDERS Official Garrett Wang/Harry Kim Fan Club P.O. Box 13767 Sacramento, CA 95853-3767 RANDOM FLIGHT Official Robert Duncan McNeill/Tom Paris Fan Club c/o Brenda Antrim P.O. Box 3583 Abilene, TX 79604 bantrim@delphi.com EPIC Official Ethan Phillips/Neelix Fan Club P.O. Box 4818 Waterbury, Connecticut 06704 ROBERT PICARDO FAN CLUB Robert Picardo/The Doctor Fan Club c/o Tracey Ledel, RNC Box 373 1277 Linda Mar Shopping Center Pacifica, CA 94044 THE DOCTOR'S EXCHANGE Official Siddig El Fadil/Dr. Bashir Fan Club c/o Stephanie Armato P.O. Box 12254 La Crescenta, CA 91224-0954 docslady@aol.com ENVY Nana Visitor/Major Kira Fan Club c/o Kimberley Junius P.O. Box 1926 Upland, CA 91785-1926 bajorfemme@aol.com OASIS Official Armin Shimerman/Quark Fan Club c/o Kathy Bayne 26 Dogwood Street Jersey City, NJ 07305 kathybayne@aol.com THE LAST OUTPOST Star Trek Club of Hawaii c/o Mark Wilson P.O. Box 31261 Honolulu, HI 96820 73502.226@compuserve.com SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM Newsletter for TV/Movie SF/Fantasy/Horror fans c/o Bjo Trimble P.O. Box 6858 Kingwood, TX 77325-6858 WEB PAGES: http://umbc8.umbc.edu/~mpanti1/kate/kate.html http://www.cdsnet.net/vidiot/images/ http://fvkma.tu-graz.ac.at:80/star-trek/ http://www2.ari.net/home/gene/janeway.html http://www.ftms.com/st-voy/Cast.html http://www.freenet.hamilton.on.ca/~ac108/jen.html http://underground.net/~koganuts/Galleries/ http://www.ama.caltech.edu/~mrm/kirk.html http://www.io.org/~wwlee/KateFan/Kate_Overview.html http://www.ftms.com/vidiot/ http://www.aplus.com/seth/trek/old.warp http://fvkma.tu-graz.ac.at/fanaddr.html *CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE DEPARTMENT* Kate: Thank you so so much for everything... Heather, Michele, and Larry: You too! Claire: TFW! Thanks endlessly for being here. Finished ATS yet? Anne and Meri: Without you, this newsletter would have no art! XXX Kimberley: Out-and-out steal from you, moi? (Yup!) Love you! Siubhan: Any time you want a regular humor column, it's yours! Sap Sisters: I've done my part. I asked HER. I ran the letter. I poured my heart out in two editorials. It's someone else's turn! Talk to HIM!