The Official Newsletter of the Kate Mulgrew Appreciation Society Volume I Number 3 THE BUZZ Ahhh, summer. The temperatures rise, school gets out, and TV enters rerun hell, thus forcing us to enjoy the great outdoors and contemplate just how much of our lives we waste at work. Now that Voyager's season has been abruptly cut short by those network television goons who live to frustrate the people who make their salaries possible, we thought we'd take a moment to discuss the future. We've been considering a number of changes and fielding a number of suggestions, so we're just going to throw them out at you. We expect feedback: online if you can, USPS if you want, telephone if you must, but let us know. We'll start with what's most important and then get down to the ephemera. We'll warn you now: we're going to have to raise dues with the next issue. (This does not apply to electronic subscriptions, as we still owe you all autographed photos!) We have done absolutely everything we can to keep costs down on the paper newsletter: printing on 11x17 paper and hand-collating, mailing flyer-style to avoid envelope and additional postage costs, sticking to 28 pages an issue even though we easily could run 36 based on the amount of material we receive (the print is now 9pt instead of 10, too). In order to get decent reproductions of the photographs we run, we have to use a decent printer. It costs us a little under $3.00 to produce each copy of this newsletter, before postage (and, on the last two issues, envelopes). But that doesn't take into account how much it costs to get the master copy printed, how much it costs to have photos reduced and/or enlarged, how much it costs to have videos and art sent to people with scanners, how much it costs to mail disks back and forth, how much it costs to call Kate's agent long distance to ask for her convention schedule, how much it costs to conduct long-distance interviews, how much it costs to upload all the stuff people on AOL ask us for and we cheerfully supply...you get the picture. Kate's publicist promised us that when she gets back from hiatus, he'll get her to autograph a picture so we can distribute them to club members. Figure at least $1.25 to reproduce an 8x10, plus envelopes, cardboard, and mailing costs. Multiply the cost of printing the newsletter by three, add it to all of the above. Then take into account that since we don't have tax-exempt status yet, we're going to lose at least 28% of everything we take in. So if you think you have financial troubles, think about us! We figured we'd get the money discussion out of the way, because everything that follows is contingent upon it. Here are some of the things people have said they'd like to see: 1) Color photos. Great idea, but very expensive. It's cheaper to make 3x5s for people than to print them in here. Will that do? 2) A letters column. We love this idea. But again, we just can't afford to print every personal missive that everyone in the club wants to send to everyone else (yes, we know that ENVY has Templegrams, but there were 13 pages of them in the last Invidius; that's almost a dollar more per person, per issue, in printing costs, and most of the feedback we get has requested that we hold costs down as much as possible). We'll be delighted to print letters as long as they're reasonably short and relevant. By all means, tell the club about yourselves and your lives. Will this make everyone happy? Or do we need a separate letterzine? 3) More graphics. There are a couple of problems here: the big one is copyright. We can't print a great photo of Kate that appeared in TV Guide because, well, it appeared in TV Guide. And we can't upload Star Trek photos to our web pages because they belong to Paramount. I don't even think that Kate can give us permission to run unauthorized pictures of Janeway. So we're begging for original art: we can run as much of that as we get! 4) The names, addresses, e-mail, and phone numbers of the other people in the club. We are delighted to report that we now have a membership secretary, Becky Olsen of Florida, who is hard at work (when she isn't singing) on a questionnaire. We think it makes more sense to do this as a yearbook than to reprint every other month. So details will follow shortly, with renewal info. 5) Convention information. As those of you who bought tickets to Vulkon in Florida hoping to see Kate and getting to see Roxann know, this changes more quickly than we can always keep up with. We will do our best to keep you informed. 6) Fan fiction. People either love it or they hate it; some have asked if we'll do a whole zine of Janeway stories, others want us to get rid of it altogether. The best sign of a show's success is when it takes over our imaginations so thoroughly that we have to rewrite it in our own image: like we keep saying in the disclaimers, Paramount owns the characters, but we're pretty proprietary about them ourselves. So we don't want to get rid of it in Now Voyager. Should we not run it every issue? 7) Interviews with actors, writers, producers, etc. These are not very easy to obtain; believe it or not, they actually do work over on the lot. We're doing the best we can. 8) More funny stuff. We'd love it! Write some! All right, enough of me. Enjoy the issue and tell us what you want to see! Michelle ALL ABOUT NOW VOYAGER Welcome to the officially sanctioned Kate Mulgrew Appreciation Society. This newsletter is published bimonthly by Michelle Erica Green and Paul Anderson. You can reach us online at tigger@cais.com. Send SASE for information or $5 for sample issue. Dues are subject to change without notice as rising printing and mailing costs affect our ability to produce this newsletter. This is a not-for-profit, amateur publication and is not intended to infringe upon the rights of Paramount Pictures or its licensees. All material herein is copyrighted by the authors, except for the copyrights, trademarks, and patents of Paramount Pictures and its affiliates. You may not reproduce any part of this newsletter without written permission of the editors and/or writers. If you received this newsletter electronically, you may not forward it, excerpt any part of it, post the illustrations, nor disseminate it in any other manner without permission of the editors. The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the editorial staff, Kate Mulgrew, or Paramount Pictures. Photo Credits 1--Masthead by Janet Coleman. 2--© Paramount Pictures 1995; © NBC 1995. 4-9--© Paramount Pictures 1995. 10-11--© E! Entertainment Television 1994. 12--© ABC 1995. 13-14--Courtesy Sue Henley. 15--© DeAnn G. Rossetti. 16-17--© Meg Grace. 19--© Maureen McGowan 21--Courtesy Lillie Deans. 24-6--Illustrations by Anne Davenport 28--Graphic by Yul Tolbert. © Timeliketoons 1995. It is illegal to reproduce or scan any art from this newsletter. OK, all you people who keep telling us you want an autographed photo of Kate--here you go! (We're working on it, we promise!) [Missing autographed photo] [Missing photo of Kate and Conan] Kate Mulgrew teaches fellow Irish Catholic Conan O'Brien how to do a proper jig on his show, May 16, 1995. (Conan, it should be noted, called Internet fans "vicious geeks" for printing unkind words about Kate's voice.) CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE DEPARTMENT Larry Goldman and Michele Fischer: Thanks again for everything! Sue Henley: Thank you so much for the time, the photos, and the inside scoop! Bud Henley: Thanks for putting us in touch with Sue, and for B-SMUG. Mac users really are a breed apart, don't you think? Richard, Jen, Siobhan, Dena, and Shalini: May the Great Bird of the Galaxy bless your brilliant and perceptive minds. Cheryl, DeAnn, Meg, Donna, Melody, and other people who sent us photos, videos, and Kate stuff: HUGS AND KISSES! Anne: Thank you so much for the drawings! Do you do DS9 too? Siubhan: Thanks for the story! I could not resist the temptation to put your name in this column. The "pleasure" is all mine...heh heh heh...say hi to you-know-who when you massage him! Laura B: Maybe Mary Sue could try writing it down, develop it a little, change the names and details, put it on the recreation board in the ship's mail system when she gets back... Laura W: 'Of all the quadrants in all the galaxies in all the universe, she had to walk into mine...' Kate: Hope you're having a good hiatus! WWW users: Look for Now Voyager on the web at: http://umbc8.umbc.edu/~mpanti1/kate/kate.html . REVIEWZZZZZZZZZZZZ STATE OF FLUX Bless you Seska! I'd been wondering if the Voyager crew would blithely defer to the good captain's rather strict code of ethics, or if the pragmatists would lobby for a vote on realigning the mission's moral compass. "Prime Factors" was a good opening hand, but its stakes were relatively minor: a Comparative Lit database, a stress fracture in the Janeway-Tuvok partnership, and a dressing-down for Torres that might well have been swept under the rug forever after. Along comes "State of Flux." The Kazon have returned (different sect, same sunny disposition), and they've acquired Federation technology. In a neat echo of "Prime Factors," they too fail in their attempt to utilize foreign tech. Some have complained that Janeway was too quick to embrace the possibility of betrayal from within. Au contraire! What we have here is fallout from the preceding episode. The captain is wise enough to realize that if her trusted Tuvok was willing to cut corners, there will be others who will be far more open to seizing an opportunity. Now she needs to know who it was, and why. The list of suspects quickly narrows to two. Seska's an obvious choice. So obvious that she might be a red herring. Carey has the potential, after his part in the Sikarian trajector debacle. It'd be ironic if Chief O'Brien's lost twin turned out to be evil as well. I didn't know who to finger for this one, and I liked it. Add in Seska's sketchy but intriguing "past" with Chakotay... I would've preferred a few hints at this in prior episodes, but that's a minor criticism. Chakotay got welcome moments of real depth, his "was I that naive" exchange with Tuvok in particular. Please, sir, I want some more! Start giving us the lowdown on Chakotay's pre-Maquis background, already! I enjoy a good mystery, but there's a limit to how long I'm willing to wait for clues. Will Seska turn into a recurring villain, now that she's been unmasked and spirited away? Will Carey forgive his superiors' suspicion, or will he let it twist him up inside? Will Janeway start reviewing activity logs for suspicious goings-on? I live in hope of seeing the weekly external crisis spiced up with increasing internal conflict: Maquis/Federation, idealist/pragmatist, well-adjusted/maladjusted, male/female (as Paris has already pointed out, people are going to start pairing off)--our grim underbellies as well as the angels of our better natures. --Dena Verkade HEROES AND DEMONS Episodes like "Heroes and Demons" are the reason that holodeck technology will never be perfected--some of Trek's best shows come from holodeck mishaps. Not only is the episode a terrific showcase for the doctor, but we get to see some new scenery and some fun costuming (which Harry looked quite cute in, I might add). Before the doctor enters the picture, however, there is some nice interplay between the other characters, most notably Chakotay and Tuvok discussing the merits of Vulcan literature while examining the holodeck. Paris' continued concern for Harry and Janeway's use of her science skills are also a nice touch. When the episode does progress to the doctor, it is immediately apparent that the captain is beginning to see him as a true member of the crew. The mention of the holodeck as being the "easiest" place to transfer the doc's program is also very important since it hints at the possibility of transferring him elsewhere on the ship as well. Finally, the scene between Kes and the doctor is a good one that shows his development from and "emergency medical holographic program" to a person who is nervous about the possibility of failure, excited about seeing a sky, and eager to be accepted as a member of the crew. When the doctor finally enters the holodeck, Robert Picardo does an excellent job of making him interact with the people and things he finds there. The writers also got in a good tease, having the doctor choose the name "Schweitzer," only to decide against it later on. And although I normally don't appreciate it when guest stars get more screen time than some of the regulars, I really enjoyed watching the actors from the "Beowulf" program. Freya in particular was very well done, and her scenes with the doctor were wonderfully poignant; she is the first person he has met who is in his position--she understands what it's like to be lonely among many people. The kiss was great too (even though it wasn't Kes)! It's a shame that they decided to stick to the old "the-love-interest-must-die" policy. The special effects in "Heroes and Demons" were excellent as well, especially the Forrest Gump effect when the doctor lost his arm. The FX team added a nice touch to that one, making the doctor hollow inside. Earlier, the effect of Unferth's sword passing through the doctor was also very good, though plot-wise he's lucky that the Danes didn't decide to burn him at the stake for being a witch or a sorcerer! Perhaps the only problem in the entire episode was that the Voyager crew was awfully calm about everything. Janeway was calm about losing Harry, Tuvok, and Chakotay, Paris was calm about the doctor losing his arm, the entire crew was calm about the unknown life form loose about the ship and cutting its way through the hull, and Harry was calm about having been turned into energy. (Of course, he's used to being kidnapped and transformed by now!) That problem aside, "Heroes and Demons" was an excellent episode with facets that will hopefully be explored later--the doc's growth, his name, Janeway's reference to him as the CMO (will he get to wear pips?); the list goes on and on. And we can now add the doctor to the list of people Janeway has touched... Best Line: "The only reason you won't die is that I've taken an oath to do no harm." --Doc --Jen Gartner B'Elanna Torres is beginning to find out that it's hell working for someone who knows as much as you do. This week's episode starts out with a small mistake with the transporter that leads to big problems, and, unlike most of the captains we've known, Janeway is right there to say "I told you so." Kate Mulgrew's hair is slightly different now. Whether the ever-skeptical fans will give the thumbs-up to this softer 'do is anyone's guess. As Janeway's missing from most of the action, perhaps it will give us all time for the style change to set in. Tuvok's wit is becoming a dependable part of the show. As Chakotay and he confront Freya's sword in the holodeck, his comment on the wisdom of not depending on the holodeck's safety programs is perfectly dry, unintentional Vulcan humor at its best. Chakotay's comment that other people like legends with the heroes and monsters that Vulcan legends lack is second runner up for funniest comment of the show, though Beltran delivers it so flatly that it nearly escapes us, and this show could have benefited from more humor. Picardo is again flawless as the holodoctor and his choice of Schweitzer as a name is perfect (Albert was a bit of curmudgeon himself). His humor has been kept consistently dry and dependable, and he is developing his character as slowly as Nimoy did. There are moments when he seems much more human to us, and moments when he seems to slip back into that comfortable holographic persona. His evident fear of moving beyond the safe confines of sickbay and Kes' even more evident concern are a touching moment. Look out, Neelix, you may end up being replaced by a high-tech home movie. I was particularly pleased to see that Janeway is still relatively uncomfortable around the doctor. She's much kinder than at first, butthere is still a hint of stiffness. As well there should be. Schweitzer is not Data. Though he definitely presents a problem and a challenge to our ethics, it is not quite so easily solved, nor should it be. Janeway's patting him on the shoulder was a particularly enjoyable moment for me. It was hesitant but it was there, proof that Janeway intends to stand by her word and treat the good doctor as a crewmember--luckily he was in solid mode at the moment. The Beowulf theme worked in with the inadvertent capture of the energy creature and the trading of hostages was a good plotline if one is thinking about it (thinking real hard). On some levels the story worked, as pure adventure, as the doctor's baptismal away mission, etc. For me, it seemed to lack something. I've never been an enthusiastic fan of holodeck episodes. There's something ultimately shallow about a crisis in a place that isn't real and with characters that aren't real, but are, but really aren't because...well, you get the idea. One has to create problems in the real world to recreate those problems in some form on the holodeck--strange and anomalous energy transfers, the ubiquitous inability to use the manual over-ride, etc. For a holodeck story this was, quite good I suppose, though there were moments when I felt the actors were sleepwalking through their parts--after all the real problems are in the holodeck and we have a holocrewman there to solve them. Or maybe I was just missing one of Janeway's throw-away lines. This week the best I could come up with was..."All hail, Schweitzer!!" --Richard Hanson "Heroes and Demons" is a fun episode. At first one thinks it might be just another holodeck episode as has been seen many times on TNG, but very early on we realized that this is not the case. Allowing an outside force to interact within the holodeck structure adds the necessary excitement and suspense to make this another classic Star Trek thriller. That an accident allows this substance to enter the holodeck and ends up resulting in harm to one of the officers becomes an instant concern for Captain Janeway. Her feelings of fondness for her youngest officer as well as concern for her crewmembers are very apparent. We also see that her relationship with Chakotay has settled into a comfortable command posture when she simply looks at him and says, "Commander," indicating that he should get into the holodeck and find Ensign Kim. The interactions between Chakotay and Tuvok while in the program show the subtle antagonism that still exists between the two. One cannot forget the betrayal Chakotay felt discovering Tuvok as a spy on his Maquis ship, and not even Tuvok's assistance in the Seska situation can completely erase it. The viewer is also treated to a tiny look into the makeup of Chakotay with his detailed knowledge of human literature and apparently Vulcan literature as well. Though sparse, we are slowly beginning to piece together the clues provided to create a character profile of the mysterious Maquis leader turned First Officer. It is refreshing to see Lieutenant Paris in a role other than that of the wiseass or ladies man. When he puts forth that he is unwilling to give up hope of finding Ensign Kim, Commander Chakotay, and Lieutenant Tuvok, we see the true fondness he holds for his friend Harry. We also see his knowledge of holographic technology come into play and are glad to find out that piloting is not the only asset he offers. When he suggests using the holodoctor to go into the holodeck program and assess the problem, Tom Paris earns a place of greater respect with both Janeway and Torres as well as with the viewer. Later in the episode when he volunteers to help out in engineering, he creates for himself a new precedent as a team player. It is nice to see this much growth in a character in such a short time span. The rest of the episode is all the doctor's. The writing this sequence was wonderful and Robert Picardo does a superb job in his portrayal. Unlike Data's ongoing quest for emotion and becoming human, the holodoctor has thes e elements already in his program but lacks the experiences that would let him access them. His journey into the holodeck takes him through his fears and into the feelings of being appreciated and the knowledge that he is indeed indispensable. The scenes in which we see him exploring his newly discovered feelings with Kes, with the characters in the holonovel, and later with the Captain are informative as well as finely acted. The childlike qualities endear the holodoctor to the viewer's heart. One can almost feel his excitement at experiencing new sights and smells, can almost hear his heart pounding when Freya offers herself to him, and can almost sense his tears at Freya's death which saves his life. The holodoctor is truly our hero when he calls forth Grendel and makes his speech and gesture in hopes of having the missing crewmembers returned. In the closing scenes between Captain Janeway and the holodoctor, we see that she does consider him a full member of the crew. The doctor feels a new sense of service and acceptance which puts him more at ease in his unusual position and leaves him feeling less the need to continually defend himself. By placing a special commendation in his file, Captain Janeway makes clear to the doctor how she feels about him and his exemplary service. The viewer is as certain and the Captain and the doctor that this is only the beginning of the new and exciting experiences this holographic being will encounter. --Siobhan Wolf [Missing Kate photo] CATHEXIS The ads pretty much gave it away. The print ads read, "Their most mystical adventure ever." Gee. That narrowed it down to Chakotay and Kes--no one else has shown any enigmatic abilities (has Janeway ever gone back to talk to her lizard?) The TV ads revealed that Chakotay is brain-dead and Kes is sensing an alien presence. I'd like to solve the puzzle, please. Could the presence be... Chakotay? At least Tuvok's role wasn't immediately apparent. And we've finally settled the bets, in certain circles, on when Robert Beltran would be required to doff his shirt (damn that blanket!) The crew's response to the "alien" and its puppeteering was nicely done. Simmering paranoia, my favorite. In Janeway's conversation with Tuvok about splitting her command codes, the captain's ambivalence is all voice, eyes, posture. Very intense indeed. Neelix's acceptance of Kes's burgeoning talents was low-key, revealing that his lover's abilities have been growing in frequency and range without rubbing our noses in it. Of course, she had to be cut out of the loop immediately thereafter, but it's a pleasure to see her backstory grow incrementally rather than in distracting chunks. Janeway's holonovel, which looks to turn into a continuing feature, could be interesting, especially if other crewmembers take their turns (yes, Harry Kim gets honorable mention for a near non-appearance in Beowulf). And who is this new lieutenant--Durst?--who is suddenly on the bridge (with dialogue, even) and, refreshingly, blessedly average in appearance? Quite frankly, as I had no doubt our beloved commander would regain his faculties and our Voyagistas would indeed prevail, I found Durst to be the most intriguing element on the bridge. Methinks he's going places. Of course, after Seska, we can't assume they're good places. Ah, Chakotay. He could make B'Elanna eject the warp core but not type "nebula BAD. xoxo, Chakotay"? Sure, that would've spoiled the last half hour, but I had to ask. I very much like the Aztec'n'Mayan style of his medicine wheel, though it makes me increasingly curious as to exactly how much blending of Native traditions has gone on in the Trek universe. (The alternative - "we're making it up as we go along"--is unthinkable. Hint, hint.) Harry Kim got the conn! The Doc reintegrated Chakotay without making us watch him wage his technobabble battle! Janeway slugged Tuvok! They made specific mention of retrieving the warp core! Robert Beltran's manly shoulders revealed! It won't make my top 5, but not a bad week's work. --Dena Verkade Janeway's opening holonovel gives another avenue of insight into the workings of this character. It is interesting to note that even in her time away from being captain, Janeway chooses a story in which she must establish herself as an authority figure without outside assistance or backup. It appears that in this way she is able to resolve her feelings of being alone and in command with responsibility for her ship and crew's safe return on her shoulders. Once the episode's mystery begins to unfold, Janeway continues in character by taking charge, including doing readings and remodulations of sensors herself. Relationships between various members of the crew are brought into the spotlight during the early parts of the episode. We see that Chakotay and Torres share a deep bond of respect and trust; if this were not the case, Chakotay would not have trusted her with his tribal rituals. It is also apparent from her defensiveness at the reproach of the Holodoctor that Torres views Chakotay as her friend and mentor as well as her commander. The Holodoctor's divulging of his knowledge of psycho-spiritual healing practices gives the viewer yet another level of understanding of the background of the doctor as well. As we see the ship from the point of view of the "alien" and experience Kes' sense of a "presence," the sense of haunting is a nice parallel to the opening scenes of the holonovel. Janeway's timely use of humor to break the tension on the bridge when it appears that Lieutenant Paris is tampering with navigational controls also serves to give the viewer a break in the tension. It is refreshing to see the captain use humor in this way, I hope to see more of it as the series progresses. Kate Mulgrew delivers both dramatic and comedic performances very well. After the Holodoctor has discovered the superimposed memory pattern and the probability that the alien is able to move from person to person, the increas- ing paranoia among the crew members highlights the real challenges that Voyager and her crew are facing. It is a test of the cohesion of this newly formed crew. The fact that they are able to keep to the tasks at hand at all and not fall into chaos and anarchy from their suspicions is to their credit. The fear and confusion felt by the crew members is portrayed fantastically by all cast members. By the time Tuvok has taken control of the bridge, the viewers are at the edge of their seats. It is an exciting climax to suddenly learn that the "alien" we have been following throughout the ship is in reality Chakotay working to save the ship and crew from sure disaster. The final scene in sickbay between Janeway and Chakotay show just how strong the bond between Captain and First Officer has become. With her usual hands-on style, Janeway stands beside Chakotay intent on gaining a complete understanding of his experience. Her gratitude is conveyed through her intense eye contact, and when she leans forward toward the commander, it looks for a moment as if she is going to kiss him until she says, "Good job, Commander, and welcome back." The responsive grin from Chakotay leaves one wondering if he harbored the same suspicion, but as always she is true to command protocols. --Siobhan Wolf Tonight's episode is another proof that the writers have decided to throw a little twist into Voyager episodes. Although the show starts out looking like Alien meets The Hidden, the fact that the possessions of the crew are by Chakotay and that Tuvok's been the one possessed all along is a nice twist on a fairly frayed science fiction plotline. The thing of it is--we've all gotten used to the usual plots, and the writers know we're all used to the usual plots. Today's science fiction fan is oversophisticated in many ways, ways that make us blind to simple changes. On Voyager, the writers are starting to have fun with that. The fact that the episode starts with Janeway playing out a holodeck novel that very much resembles Henry James' immortal psychological ghost story: The Turn of The Screw is a fairly big hint that things will not be what they seem. I for one did not get the hint until later, and that's all part of the fun. Tim Russ, bless him, did exactly the right thing by playing his part just as he always does. No mustache-twirling villain here, no subconscious guilt. It's only when Kes ends up in a coma that we begin to wonder why those who spend any time alone with Tuvok wind up in sickbay. Speaking of sickbay, Picardo just keeps on getting better, his bragging about bringing Chakotay back from the great beyond was priceless, and I was delighted when Neelix hugged him. There's a puppylike quality to Neelix that is a great part of his appeal. It's been missing lately and tonight it was back. Picardo's aiming insults at the crew that are just this side of open rudeness have gotten to be something I wait for every week. His comments that he would write a paper on the procedure for replacing Chakotay's brain if only he could find an appropriate forum was right up there with the best. He's brain-dead, Jim. For me the scene between Janeway and Tuvok in the ready room was worth the price of admission. The paranoia was almost palpable. Everything about the scene fed into it from the lighting to the way Mulgrew and Russ handled their lines, even to the way they moved. Mulgrew added a menacing tinge to her performance, gave us an opportunity to see what Janeway might be like in extremis--a formidable enemy when she chooses to be. Lest we forget the proportional strength of humans and Vulcans, the sight of Tuvok flying a good eight feet after a backhanded punch from the captain was mute testimony to those who are still wondering about Janeway's qualifications in a fight. "Cathexis" is Star Trek at its very best. Fast, dangerous, convoluted and fun. It combined the outright sense of adventure that was so much a part of TOS with the sophistication of TNG. How can you beat that? --Richard Hanson [Missing Janeway photo] FACES The Vedean Sodality returns in an episode that bears a slight resemblance to TOS's "The Enemy Within." In "Faces," B'Elanna Torres has to confront her Klingon half in a truly masterful performance that is at once more complicated and far more convincing than Shatner's schizoid Kirk. Regardless of the moral points, "Faces" is great stuff on the level of adventure alone. Paris gets to be something other than window dressing. Chakotay goes to the rescue and affords us another great line from the holodoctor: "You should see me remove a bunion." The 'breadcrumbs' scene between Janeway and Kim is good fun and another example of a particular type of humor that Janeway is becoming a specialist in. My only regret is that I couldn't see more of her. I enjoyed the exchange between Tuvok and Neelix at the top of the show, and it verified my suspicion that testiness is a Vulcan trait. Russ' delicate use of the word 'piquant' was the equal of anything Nimoy ever came up with. Biggs-Dawson's portrayal of the pure Klingon B'Elanna was awe-inspiring, a great addition to the ever-widening louvre of Klingon lore. The way she slowly changed even the tone of her voice, easing her way into the personality, was spooky. But there are at least two moral points to the story. The writers are still having fun with the gruesome moral problem presented by the Vedeans. The moral nuances of overpopulation was a problem faced by both TOS ("The Mark of Gideon") and TNG ("When The Bough Breaks"). Overpopulation is still a problem on Earth, but it's good to see the show going in search of new dilemmas and the Vedean's phage offers one not so very far removed from our time and place. The horror we feel when B'Elanna's captor surgically dons Durst's face in an effort to impress her is not just an organic horror, it's a moral horror and it's meant to be. There is something horrifying in the desensitization of the Vedeans to the sanctity of 'physical' property. The mute question poised behind the horror is one point to the adventure of "Faces." The other point comes with B'Elanna's dialog with her Klingon self. Like Kirk (and Spock) before her, she realizes that she needs both halves of her nature. But Star Trek has come far since the days of James Tiberius Kirk. The splitting of B'Elanna Torres is not the schism between good and evil, but the dichotomy of instinctive reaction vs. intellectual reflection. Absent the evil Kirk, the good Kirk felt powerless, divested of something immediate and important. But B'Elanna says she never felt so at peace with herself and yet somehow not herself. What's Voyager saying here? Perhaps that nothing is so simple that we could lose a part--any part--of ourselves and feel right, that to be fully alive is NOT to be at peace with ourselves. The requirement for thinking beings to strive not only with what is beyond them but also with what is within them has been a constant theme of Star Trek. Though the saga has grown greatly in its sophistication, it's nice to see that some messages remain the same. --Richard Hanson Using the Vedeans and their advanced technology as a device to separate the Klingon and Human sides of Chief Engineer B'Elanna Torres, this episode allows us to gain understanding into the workings of the mixture being that is B'Elanna. Roxann Biggs-Dawson does a superb job portraying both halves of the complex character. It is also refreshing that we are shown a different side of Tom Paris. Seeing Paris' concern for Durst as well as his committment to finding B'Elanna reassures us that he is not the unfeeling, arrogant person that his facade portrays. I am glad that this character is being written less two-dimensionally and is being given a wide range of facets rather than being continually portrayed as the womanizing smart-alec. The scene in which the Human B'Elanna meets the Klingon B'Elanna is most powerful. We see the surprise and wonder on the faces of both women. Though the Klingon B'Elanna rescues the Human B'Elanna at this moment, we soon see that they will not be able to escape without cooperation between them. Listening to B'Elanna fighting with herself, seeing her internal struggle externalized, brings us to new levels of understanding of this woman. We sympathize with each side and hope that they can come to some sort of an agreement. When they do, indeed, come to the understanding that both have important and necessary energies to offer, it appears that B'Elanna resolves some lifelong internal conflict and can then set about working on the plan for escape. By the time Klingon B'Elanna's death scene arrives, we see Human B'Elanna truly looking at herself with love. She sums this up when she speaks to Commander Chakotay from sickbay after having been told that she cannot survive without the Klingon genes. By telling Chakotay that she feels more at peace with herself but feels incomplete, B'Elanna has struggled and won the fight that she was born into. I found it a disappointment when she then states, "I guess I just have to accept the fact that I'll spend the rest of my life fighting with her." The groundwork had been laid so well for this character to have a growth ex- perience, but we were left feeling that maybe she'd missed the point all along. It is of some concern that Janeway appears not to react as is true to her word when it is discovered that the Vedeans are involved in the disappearance of the Voyager crew members. Although her path to recovering those crew members is not at issue, the viewer remembers her strong warning to the Vedeans the last time they encountered Voyager. When the episode ends without any show of "the deadliest of force," the viewer is left wondering why Captain Janeway has allowed this incident to go unpunished. --Siobhan Wolf The Vedeans find a potential cure in a Klingon, but their ignorance of Klingon potential is their undoing. A triad of dualities - where to start? Au revoir, Pete Durst. I liked him, perhaps for his blatant averageness. Should've known he was a redshirt. Though Durst had limited opportunities to shine, Brian Markinson gave him a grounded strength, and his performance as Sulan is a standout. The Vedean's actions are deplorable, yet we never lose sight of hishope for a cure, his admiration for Klingon Torres, his frustrated longing for her regard. He knows she is repulsed by his appearance, knows that no matter how fine and noble his soul, she will never truly overlook his superficial form. Not even Durst's face grafted onto his will change that. Chakotay is the flip side of that coin. A handsome man whom we have come to respect (and lust for) is abruptly transformed into a horrifically deformed Vedean. Is he different, now that the skin is flayed, the cheekbones buried, the fingers bloated and fused? The dark eyes, the comforting voice, the loyalty and strength and fierce intelligence are all unaffected. Troi as a Romulan was still Troi; Kira as a Cardassian was still Kira. Isn't Chakotay as a Vedean still Chakotay - or is he a grotesque, a freak? He's not altered long enough that we are forced to draw that line, mine here, yours there, another somewhere between. Yet in the best tradition of SF, it provides food for thought. We should make a point to chew carefully. The universe dishes up these challenges with tragic regularity. Sulan and Chakotay both hope to rescue their people. Who is more human--Sulan with his grafted face, sacrificing the one for the many, or Chakotay with his rotting visage, sacrificing the many for the one? Are they so very different, there in the laboratory, contending for Paris and the two B'Elannas? Are you sure? There are deeper differences in the Klingon and Terran B'Elannas, and more room for detente. The Klingon is...Klingon, aggressive and cunning. The Terran is skittish, weakened by her ordeal, more inclined to think her way out of a box than to punch through it. The contrast is more black and white than it needs to be, but it allows B'Elanna the opportunity to confront herself in a firelit alcove, to hash out some of the bitterness that has plagued her since she was a child. Roxann Biggs-Dawson is very believable in both roles, particularly poignant in the closing scene in which she describes the qualities she admired in her counterpart, qualities she will soon have again herself, as if they had indeed been given to another person entirely. Chakotay listens, clearly wants to speak, but there's nothing he can say. She has to work it out herself, and he wisely departs. To my surprise, I no longer feel a deep, burning need to slap Tom Paris around. Robert Duncan McNeill has always done a good job, but the character rubs me the wrong way. I still don't like him, but I probably won't shout profanities at the screen anymore. And now for a dangling plot thread from "Caretaker"... Is Chakotay's life debt to Paris erased? A risky beam-in, alone among hostile forces in an organ chop shop, not to mention the surgical alterations - I'd have to rule them even after this. I was reluctant going in, but this turned out to be of my favorite episodes thus far. --Dena Verkade JETREL The opening scene lays the ground work for the theme that will unfold throughout the episode, but we are not aware of this until it is looked at in retrospect. Our retrospect view enables us to see that here we are given a clue into Neelix's belief system and are shown that though on the surface he seems to find the thought of "calling a safety" a distasteful and cowardly act, Neelix surprises himself with the satisfaction he feels taking this route after all. We are shown in this episode not only a deeper look into the character make-up of Neelix but also a look into Tallaxian history as well. Though we have seen little of the background of Chakotay, we have a basic knowledge of the history and background of the other species aboard Voyager. Ethan Phillips does a superb job portraying the varied emotional responses that Neelix experiences throughout this episode. The mixture of fear, loathing, and anger on Neelix's face upon first learning the identity of Jetrel is unmistakable. His continued resistance is in keeping with what we already know of his character. The obvious sorrow and compassion shared by Janeway after he has related the story of the war and the deployment of the Metreon Cascade on Rynax is touching. We see that the Captain has truly embraced her alien crew members and this sharing brings their bond that much closer. It also showes the viewer that Neelix is not a two-dimensional character serving only the purpose of comic relief. The character of Jetrel and his obvious fascination with Federation technology quickly becomes suspect when we see him falter in Janeway's ready room. Our suspicions rise, even when the suspicions of the Captain and crew do not, and we feel our group may be walking into a trap. This fact shows that we have believed Neelix's stories and have taken for our own his judgement of the scientist. It also shows us that we, too, have accepted Neelix as one of our own. The ongoing scenes between Neelix and Kes are well done and serve to show us a deeper connection developing between them. Kes' continued understanding throughout Neelix's anger and defensiveness tells us that she is a most compassionate being and more advanced in her ability to empathize than many humans in relationship. It is touching how quickly she is able to cut through those same defenses and share her feelings with Neelix about their respective deaths and the time frames in which these might take place. The scene in sickbay when Jetrel and Neelix trade loss of family stories is wonderfully done and we see that Jetrel does not argue with Neelix's opinion of him. It is painful to watch this man admit his own feelings of self-loathing as well as his dying. The scene that follows, Neelix's dream, shows us that Neelix cannot hide from his internal demons any longer and that it is himself he blames, not simply Jetrel. The connection is made here to the opening scenes when Neelix describes his cowardice to Kes and receives in return the love and compassion that will help him come to a peaceful resolution of this internal struggle. When Kes finally helps Neelix come to the conclusion that he must first stop hating himself before he can begin to think about letting go of his hate for Jetrel, we see this man and his humor in a completely different light. Neelix's growth is revealed first when he implores Janeway to make an attempt to retrieve the dispersed bio-matter. When Janeway agrres to allow Jetrel to use the transporter technology, there is a brief moment when one wonders about the Prime Directive and whether this use of transporter technology is not a violation of that. After the attempt fails and Jetrel lays dying in sickbay, we see in his death scene that Neelix has indeed internalized his lessons. His ability to see the Cascade as a punshiment for all of their hatred and brutality and his ability to forgive Jetrel and allow him to die in peace indicate that this has been a successful growth experience. --Siobhan Wolf Stories about the horrible death of thousands of people, of the lone survivors, of the agony of being one of the "lucky" ones--these are always compelling dramas. They are a deep part of whatever communal psyche we all still share. "They are dead: I alone am escaped to tell thee," says the Book of Job, and in each of us there is something that communes with the survivor, whether it be a soldier or the last passenger pigeon or a Tallaxian named Neelix. There are few humorous moments in "Jetrel" but many more touching ones. The scene where Janeway and Kes both convince Neelix to submit to Dr. Jetrel's examination is one. "Outgunned and outflanked," says Neelix. Janeway shows us once again that a captain can touch someone, care about someone, and still be every inch a captain. Neelix regaling Kes with inconsequential stories about his past in an attempt to avoid her having to face up to his dying is part and parcel of their relationship. Tallaxians are caring folk if Neelix is any example. Kes seems to grow more beautiful with each passing episode. My wife reminded me that it might be because they're attempting to document her accelerated aging process. Whatever the reason, most of the character's beauty comes from within, and again I find myself feelingthat Kes is everything Troi should have been and somehow never was.. Mulgrew has concentrated mightily on developing Janeway's scientific persona. Note how she becomes more animated, more "alive," as soon as Dr. Jetrel explains his reasons for hoping the transporter can be linked to a possible cure for Neelix's blood disease. This is a woman who's heart beats just a bit faster at the hint of exploring the limits of the technologically possible. As Kirk was an adventurer and Picard was an explorer, Janeway is first and foremost a scientist. Oh yes, she refers Jetrel to Torres for the details, but her expression--her joy at the knowledge that there is something new in the universe--all underscore the truth, that she would be happiest right there, in the midst of the experiment, on the edge of discovery. I have come to love the interactions between the holodoctor and Neelix. The relationship in many ways parallels that of McCoy and Spock in TOS. Neelix and the doctor have completely different senses of humor. The doctor's dry sarcasm mixes oddly and delightfully with Neelix's more whimsical view of life. I find myself smiling nowadays whenever they're both in the same scene, wondering who will spark whom. I noted the smallest hint of pleasure in the doctor's voice that "this time" someone else would be doing the examination--all the more because Neelix would wish it otherwise. But he's pleased to see, in his pedantic way, that Neelix has come to appreciate his abilities. "Jetrel" is a complicated story because in it we are not tritely given the agony of Neelix having to reconfront this old wound, as a thousand other shows have done. Dr. Jetrel is there in three dimensions as well and we're invited to watch him confront the monster that is or was himself, the attempt to seek atonement, the ultimate insanity and desire to raise the dead who died at his own hand. Just when we're hoping that Neelix will somehow come through this ordeal, we discover that Neelix also has to confront the monster inside, the shadow-self of cowardice. Kes helps or doesn't help by raising the possible pardon of conscience. Wasn't Neelix just being conscientious in opposing the war? Wasn't it just as hard to face up to the possibility of being executed for being a traitor as it would have been to face the certain death of Dr. Jetrel's deadly cloud? Kes is really our Greek chorus here. And how like a siren Kes must have seemed to Neelix in that moment To be sure, we never quite know if or how Neelix makes peace with that question within himself. Yet Dr. Jetrel and he share something in the end. Insane as it may be, with Janeway hovering in between them as the sober judgement of science--Janeway like the god Janus, looking with two faces, one into the past, one into the future, saying, "what is done is done and cannot be undone"--still Jetrel will try to raise the dead and Neelix will cheer him on. Two men, unable to forgive themselves, trying to find redemption in the undoing of an unpardonable act. At the end is forgiveness, for Jetrel at least. But Neelix must go on, as all survivors do. There is no one to forgive Neelix. Kes says "what a horrible burden you've been carrying." It's unlikely that for Neelix this will be enough. Recognition is not forgiveness, and as a survivor he must somehow leave Jetrel behind and carry on, alone escaped to tell us. --Richard Hanson [Missing Janeway & Neelix photo] It is unfortunate that an episode which begins so well can become so whiny and overly dramatic. It's even more unfortunate when that episode is in a Trek series. The majority of the teaser in "Jetrel" was excellent--pool, humor, everything. But as soon as the background music became dramatic for Neelix (of all people), I knew that the best I could hope for was a good line from the doctor, or maybe a Janeway/Chakotay scene. No such luck. "Jetrel" quickly became yet another "social awareness" Trek episode, in which the writers do away with the fine art of subtlety and instead go for the flashing neon signs: "Here's the message, folks!" Today's message? Nuclear weapons are bad. The various spoilers on the Net weren't kidding when they said that Neelix was going to be pursued by an Oppenheimer figure--that's exactly what Jetrel is. And almost every sentence out of Neelix's mouth parallels the bombing of Hiroshima. The problem is, the entire debate over Truman's decision to use the atomic bomb cannot, and should not, be squeezed into one forty-five minute episode. That aside, the episode would have fared better had it not centered on Neelix. While it was nice to learn some background information about his homeworld, the business about his life being endangered seemed too much like a cheap plot device and his behavior was melodramatic and annoying, as usual. The problem is not Ethan Phillips, but the writers--they desperately need to figure out why Neelix is aboard Voyager. He's obviously not much of a cook or a guide, and the doctor provides enough comic relief for the series on his own. So poor Phillips is stuck with a character whose assets remain a mystery to the writers. Not that the episode didn't have some good parts. The dream sequence in particular was very well done, especially since it tied in with the story Neelix told Jetrel describing what happened after the cascade. (It's interesting to note that that charred person in the story was a little girl, and the charred person in the dream was Kes. Does Neelix consider her a child?) It was also nice to see Janeway use her scientific and diplomatic skills again (she mediates very well between Neelix and Jetrel), and to know that the doctor can finally deactivate himself, though it's odd that Jetrel was able to do the same. It's too bad that "Jetrel" was so far from perfection, but I suppose that even Star Trek is entitled to a bad day. Best Line: "Peace of mind is a relative thing, captain." --Neelix --Jen Gartner LEARNING CURVE This episode opens with Janeway back in her holonovel program. It is good to see that we are being shown some consistency in the extracurricular activities that the captain and crew take part in. Again we see that Janeway's on-duty challenges are being paralleled in her holonovel experiences when she struggles with being either too formal or too familiar introducing herself to the children who are to become her charges. Once face to face with the children, however, she shows no outward sign of discomfort in dealing with them just as she handles the problems on Voyager. Tuvok's discovery of Mr. Dalby just finishing replacement of the gelpack puts the children quickly out of our minds but in so doing brings forth the problem for the episode. Once again, Maquis and Starfleet collide in ideology and procedure creating tensions and emotional eruptions in the crew. When Janeway, Chakotay, and Tuvok set out to solve the problem, the captain concludes that instruction is the answer. No doubt her instructional duties in the holonovel are not far from her mind in this decision-making. Tuvok is left with the challenge of earning the respect of those Maquis crew members that Chakotay thinks will be most benefit from the training. Tuvok experiences difficulties from the start as he proceeds in Vulcan-like fashion, treating the crew members as though they were Starfleet cadets. By pointing out the errors committed by the crew members, he further alienates them, resulting in their defection from the class. We then see Chakotay put his people in line "the Maquis way," thus forcing them to choose the Starfleet way in order to continue their freedoms upon the ship. The interaction between Torres and Dalby shows us B'Elanna's increasing sensitivity and insight into her people as she knows that her challenge will assist Dalby in sticking with the program. We are hopeful that Tuvok will take advantage of this second chance, but soon see he only continues with the "boot camp" approach. Meanwhile, investigation into the problem with the gelpacks takes a turn toward comic relief and we are treated to a wonderful scene between Holodoctor, Kes, B'Elanna, and a gelpack "patient." The doctor's sarcasm in response to suggestions that he make an effort to smooth out his bedside manner is done superbly. Robert Picardo's ability to perform this level of comedy credibly is certainly to his growing credit. As Tuvok continues with the training, it becomes quite clear that his methods are having less than the desired effect. This serves to draw us into sympathy with the Maquis crew members. This is an important move as it is important that the viewer be able to sympathize with all factions of the crew given the appropriate circumstances. Tuvok is then forced into self-evaluation with the help of Neelix's wisdom. This scene shows us that Neelix has indeed grown and that his duties as Morale Officer are important and necessary. It is also entertaining to watch one of the crew describe the Vulcan as "rigid and inflexible" since we know that this is the basic Vulcan personality. Using one of the alien crew members to point this out is indeed a welcome device. Though Tuvok's attempt to get to know Dalby appear on the surface to fail, Tuvok succeeds in gaining knowledge about Dalby's anger as well as his protective feelings toward Garen. When the class gets stuck in the holodeck, Tuvok uses some of this knowledge by sending the young man on a task to help him divert his obvious fear. He also uses it when he orders Dalby into the Jeffries tube with the threat of getting his arm broken if he doesn't comply. The episode concludes with all crew members taking risks, both outside the class and within. The virus is successfully eradicated by the ship's "fever" and the class members return to pull Tuvok and Garen from the toxic gases. The ultimate goal of increased bonding between the Maquis crew members and Tuvok is achieved when each side sees how the other has been willing to adapt to bring about the best outcome for all. By far the best line of the episode comes when B'Elanna orders, "Get the cheese to sickbay." Though the situation is reaching an almost critical point, this use of comic relief is fresh and wonderful. --Siobhan Wolf It is the doom of the terminally anal retentive to be surrounded by those who don't care if something isn't done just right. For Tuvok, to be surrounded by seat-of-the-pants Maquis is probably worse than being stuck in the Delta Quadrant. Janeway makes a great diplomatic decision in choosing Tuvok to teach them, all the more generous when some captains probably would have put them all in the brig. Kenneth Dalby, the prototypical angry white Maquis, was overplayed by Derek McGrath. Belligerency seems to be a difficult emotion for young actors recently. Like most, McGrath comes off as merely a large older brat on which a lesser Vulcan might have employed the mythical death grip. Because of this, Tuvok's concern over his teaching methods are a bit difficult to identify with. But the scene with Neelix made it worth it. Sharing the Guinan role with Kes, Neelix seems to be more the corner bartender, dishing out sage Tallaxian homilies along with viral cheese and macaroni. Nevertheless, watching him tap out a happy little bongo tune on Tuvok's arm made it all worth it. Tallaxians are wonderful folk, the kind of people who just don't get it when they see "does not play well with others" on the report card. Neelix can get away with "No, Mr. Vulcan. I'm saying you're inflexible" primarily because the idea of _libido subordinando_ would never occur to him. Tallaxians are the kind of people who hug you instead of saying "How do you do?" Even a Vulcan can't stand up to that. B'Elanna was surprisingly understanding when she found out about the cheese and what it was doing to the ship. Apparently being split in half must have done some good, for she seems much more in control of the Klingon side of her nature. Her "Get the cheese to sick bay" gets my vote for best line of the episode. Picardo was in top form. I love the part when he treats a gel pac as though it were a patient. Unlike most computer comedy shticks where the humor is intentionally unintentional, the holodoctor seems to have developed an "attitude" toward his own uniqueness. When he explains that he's been working on developing a better bedside manner and speaks to the gel pac--"Don't worry, my little friend"--he almost ties B'Elanna on funniest line. Note in particular as everyone on the ship gets sprayed down for the 'fever' scene, Picardo stays fresh, dry, and wickedly cheerful. He's fast becoming as dear to me as McCoy. Of course we knew that the training crew would be separated from the rest of the ship and that Tuvok would have to loosen up a bit to save them. Our knowing this was going to happen and then its actually happening makes this the most disappointing episode yet. Nevertheless, the crew and the Maquis have to get used to one another and that can't be made easy. But aside from the predictability, it would have been better if Tuvok's teaching experiment were a failure because 1) it would have increased the suspense and 2) most teaching experiments are failures. At this rate, they'll be able to hire the crew out as Maquis/Starfleet bargaining agents when and if they ever get home. Yes, I know--we do get to see Kate all sweaty and breathless, and that probably was worth the price of admission to quite a few fans, but other than a quick decision, a bit of scientific double-speak, and a bit of sweat, we don't get to see nearly enough of the good captain. For those of us to whom Kateliness is next to godliness, weak plot and less Kate spell bad show. --Richard Hanson THE KATE MULGREW FILM FESTIVAL COLUMN This is Kate on "Live With Regis and Kathie Lee" from May 15, looking, how did Kathie Lee put it, "Trim beyond belief"... Kate Mulgrew: I want you to come on and do a guest shot. Regis Philbin: Really? KM: You could be a Kazon. RP: What's that? Is that good? KM: And you could be an Ocampa princess. Kathie Lee Gifford: Ooo... fine. KM: They have no idea what I'm talking about. RP: No. What's a Kazon? Is it a good guy? [Missing photo of Kate on Regis and Kathie Lee} We now have a backlog of movie reviews--but no art to illustrate them! If anyone has a horde of old publicity stills from any of Kate's various film and TV roles, would you please please loan them to us? We promise to take very good care of them and loan you all our videos in return! And if you have a scanner, well, ahem... ROUND NUMBERS By DeAnn G. Rossetti Attention Kate Mulgrew Fans: if you want to hear some of Kate's best wise-cracks yet, I recommend the 1991 film Round Numbers, a spoof on the diet-spa industry starring the svelte Captain of the Voyager. I have a feeling this script was taken from a play, as the film has the feel of a good ensemble piece adapted to screenplay. The plot is basically this: Judith S., don't call her "Judy," wife of "Big Al, the Muffler King of Muzuma," California, has been slaving in the office for years and feels she has "thighs like pylons"--hence she subsists on Midol and Diet Coke. She discovers one day that her husband has made a reservation at a 'fat farm' called "The International House of Bodies," and believes her husband has made the reservation for her, until she discovers that he has used company money to buy a new Jeep for the bikini-clad bimbo in his TV commercials. Even this early in the movie, Judith has established herself has a sarcastic and cynical woman who verbally trashes people right and left, so her larger co-worker hands her the company American Express card and tells her to "do something for yourself, and get her good while you are at it...you're good at that." So Judith drives like an animal and slinks into the International House of Bodies, there to meet up with four other women who are in various states of diet distress. As they are being 'weighed in,' Judith makes one of the more salient observations of the movie after the woman who owns the joint rhapsodizes about the joys of torturing oneself to thin-ness: "Excuse me, I have a question. In a society besieged with acid rain, millions homeless, depletion of the ozone, toxic waste, where women are regarded as mutant men and we're becoming culturally defunct, why is the main concern of society whether or not we are fat?" The Spa owner (decked out in gold lame spandex) replies, "Lets face it, girls, men don't make passes at girls with fat....tushies." She began the orientation lecture with "I did a little soul searching, and you know what I came up with? Nothing." A warning to the squeamish; there are videos placed throughout the spa that show movies of actual plastic surgery being performed. If blood grosses you out, fast-forward. Lampoons of spa regulars, spa cuisine, aerobics classes and 'makeovers' are all hilarious (you haven't lived until you've seen Kate in a fringed white cullote outfit with her hair in one of those top-knot ponytails!), plus Judith quips and snarls throughout in what has to have been a fun role to play. The ending has some great messages about the false assumptions people make about larger women--that they are not sexy, or can't have affairs--and good strong statements about why women should learn to love themselves no matter what their bodies are like, because no woman, no matter how perfect, thinks she is thin enough. The subjects of horniness and men are delt with in a fairly realistic women's locker room fashion, and Kate says some lines like "Men are such delicious creatures" and parades about wearing nothing but a towel in several scenes that should keep those of you who lust for the fair Captain quite happy. For some odd reason, an ending monologue is performed by the older, larger-woman character who in one breath informs us how cruel and ridiculous lipo-suction is, and how vile the doctors who perform it, and in the next line has this elderly woman saying she's going to 'do it this time,' panting and running around some trees. If the message is that women trying to pummel themselves into a shape that is genetically wrong for them, via methods that make medeival torture look like a walk in the park, when most men prefer women as they are, larger and healthy, then why make some elderly person whose joints and heart wouldn't tolerate running very well talk about the spa life as if its the only way to get a man and a life? I suggest that women watch "Round Numbers" and ignore the obvious attempts by the Hollywood body facists to encourage unsafe exercises and unneccessary surgery. As a woman who has been there and back, a charter member of the 98% of people who lose weight and gain it back (usually because they are genetically larger people), I think there should be more movies that encourage women to see the stupidity of trying to fit a mold created by men on Madison Avenue. We are not all blonde, leggy and built like Cindy Crawford, nor were we meant to be. It takes all sizes and kinds to make a world, and I am proud to be a part of the 63% of the women in America who wear a size 14 or higher. I hope more women come to accept themselves and stand against the prejudice of people who perpetuate myths about larger people (i.e., that fat=lazy, or that larger people eat more than thin persons, a myth disproven by the medical community years ago). Because society allows humor to hold a mirror to its faults, I laud Kate for making a movie that makes a statement about an issue that you rarely see in the movies: size acceptance, and the multi-million dollar diet and fitness industry vampire that sucks thousands of women dry for nothing but a temporary facade. Having already seen most of "Remo Williams", and being too much of a chicken to see "A Stranger is Watching", I am glad I rented "Round Numbers". It's a great sleeper film that will send Kate Mulgrew fans into orbit! (Sorry,I couldn't resist!) THE FUNNY PAGES VOYAGER Q&A Dena Verkade makes an educated guess on the questions UPN has received but won't answer! 93 inquiries as to whether Chakotay has any other tattoos (88 ask when we'll see for sure) 78 speculations on other crewmembers' animal guides (including Seska/praying mantis, Harry Kim/koala, Neelix/pufferfish, holodoc/Powerbook) 71 versions of "What's your favorite color?" 64 questions about holodoc's sexual capacities 64 variations on "do you have Prince Albert in a can" 42 non-question odes to Jennifer Lien (including 1 limerick, 6 sonnets, 14 haiku, some of the best and worst blank verse ever written, and 26 home phone numbers) 37 questions about the exact nature of Chakotay and Seska's prior relationship (8 demanding intimate details) 24 offers to buy Janeway's pink pyjamas (Ben H. specifically requests that they be unlaundered) 11 suspiciously similar inquiries about Chakotay's favorite "life-affirming ritual" (4 mention his "stick") 9 personal challenges to Kate Mulgrew (pool, snooker, arm-wrestle-to-the-death) 6 inquiries about which of the Three Stooges is Ethan Phillips' favorite 1 non-question graphic ASCII representation of Janeway serving under Chakotay "if our positions had been reversed" (and if people will stop e-mailing each other copies, we might get some work done around here!) [Missing photo of Kate and Robbie McNeill cracking up on the set] TOUCHING SCENES The Captain's Touchy-Feely Count, as of "Learning Curve": Chakotay: 9 (+ bonus point for two-handed bare chest grab) Paris: 7 (forgot the handshake in "Caretaker" last time) Kim: 4 Torres: 3 Jetrel: 3 Tuvok: 2 (plus one for his chair in "Faces") Neelix: 2 Kes: 2 Doc: 1 THE JANEWAY BREAKFAST "I was thinking of having eggs benedict with asparagus, strawberries and cream..." So spoke the Captain in "Phage," and Anne Davenport promptly set out to figure out what Neelix needs to come up with to bring Janeway breakfast in bed! Shopping list: Eggs Canadian bacon English muffins Butter Lemon juice Asparagus Half-n-half (cream) Fresh strawberries Eggs, butter, cream, bacon.....the Janeway breakfast rates pretty high on the cholesterol and fat scale, so any triple-bypassers probably will want to give this one a miss. But given this menu, the steps for constructing it run something like this: Eggs Benedict: 1. Toast the muffins. Butter them if you like. 2. Poach the eggs, two for each muffin. Simmer water in a frying pan. If you break the eggs into a saucer and then slide them into the water, you can avoid the danger of breaking the yolks. A couple of minutes' cooking, covered, is enough. Remember the dead people in "Emanations"? When the eggs are similarly covered with a white film, you'll know they're done, but when you slice into them, the yolks should still be succulently yellow and runny. (Can we safely assume that salmonella is not an issue in the 24th century?) 3. Slice the Canadian bacon/ham/turkey ham--choose your favorite--and put it onto each slice of English muffin. Put the eggs on tops of the ham. 4. Make the hollandaise sauce: Separate the eggs and use only the egg yolks. Put the yolks, butter, and lemon juice in a double boiler over hot, steamy water and whisk like mad. Don't put it directly on the heat. There is a very fine line between hollandaise sauce and scrambled eggs. I used the proportions from "The Fannie Farmer Cookbook": 3 egg yolks, 15 g. of lemon juice, and 115 g. of butter. Failing all that, you can also buy a mix, or get it in a can. Whatever you use, pour it on top of the muffin/bacon/egg. Asparagus: Fresh always, with the tougher, stringy ends snapped off. Steamed please, never boiled. And no longer than 2 minutes, just until the asparagus spears turns bright green. Asparagus are a gift from the gods and should not be abused by over-cooking. There is such an animal as canned asparagus, but I always shudder going down that aisle of the grocery store. Strawberries and Cream: 1. Buy fresh strawberries, wash, remove the stems and slice to taste. Some people like to sprinkle sugar on them, but strawberries are a near perfect food all by themselves. 2. I defy anyone reading this to actually find "cream" at the grocery store. And whipping cream doesn't count. There just isn't anything labeled only as "cream"; I opt for half-n-half though I'm not sure which two halves of cow output this stuff is made of. Whatever it's called, pour it over the strawberries. Serve with coffee! THE SPACESHIP ACTING REVIEW It looks great on the screen. WHAMMO!! The Voyager gets zapped by some high-energy, exo-plasmatic weirdness, the ship's gravity hiccups and the crew goes flying. But we all know what really happens in the studio: a session of synchronized jiggling with a sweaty camera operator crouching before a group of costumed and equally sweaty actors. It must be really silly for them. Anne Davenport grades the cast on crashing: In a 1993 ST:TNG behind-the-scenes 30-second interview, Patrick Stewart blushed that there were outsiders around to witness his rendition of a shuttlecraft crash, even after 6+ years of doing it. In "The Launching of Voyager" special, we saw Mulgrew and Phillips doing their spaceship jolt moves--and it doesn't look nearly so good when you can see the stage crew around them. What does one say after a full afternoon of gyrating and shaking on demand when the kids ask, "So, wha'ja do at work today, Mom?" Reputedly, the TNG cast had it down to where they had finessed ship tremors to a scale of 1 (mild ship trembling) to 10 (running-into-a-quantum-filament catastrophe), going up in half steps. How are the Voyager crew doing so far? Janeway does most of her body shuddering from the hips, so when the camera shows her from the waist up (which it usually does), it looks very believably like she's shaking from an external force. But considering how often she's standing in the middle of the bridge with her hands on her hips, one wonders why she doesn't get sent tumbling more often. Chakotay's usually sitting when disaster strikes and relies on whole body motion for the tremor effect, which looks good. Tuvok and Kim need more practice. They both jerk their shoulders too much, like they're using their upper bodies. They should follow Janeway's example and initiate their body motions from the hips, which are usually behind their consoles for bridge disasters; that would look much more natural. Paris tends to grab his console at the first sign of trouble, so it's tough to evaluate his body movement but he's doing OK. Torres is another console grabber, but she definitely moves more like Janeway. A woman's center of gravity is lower than a man's, so movement from the lower body might come more naturally for Janeway and Torres. Not much to go on with Neelix and Kes. They're usually in scenes when the ship's in trouble, but Neelix's facial expressions go a long way toward establishing the illusion of distress. And no data on Doc at all--we just haven't seen him in action. But realistically, would a hologram be affected by any quirks in the ship's orientation? PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST [Missing photo that you really had to see of Robert Beltran attacking Kate Mulgrew from behind--sure looks to us like he's biting her neck, and he's got his hands all over her, ummm, front...] All right, we lied. We don't really have any "Janeway/Chakotay in '96" t-shirts for prizes, as the names are copyrighted. But someone should call the Republican National Committee and point out that this ticket is far better than any of the candidates they're foisting on us! We have gotten a couple of designs for Janeway/Chakotay '96 buttons that we might hand out at cons, as well as one Janeway/Chakotay '69 button, but we'd like to think that that's a typo... At any rate, not having a prize is hardly a problem as we cannot print the full text of the most creative response we received, which contains indecent references to animal guides, canine mating positions, and a libelous tabloid headline analogizing a Trek star and a household pet. If you get the gist, you should stop laughing and stop reading that trash! Since all of these replies arrived online, we have decided to avoid embarrassing anyone by printing screen names only. In no particular order: EnsnRdshrt: "Commander, I assure you, there is not an alien about to burst out of my chest!" Kareneff: "Hold still, Chiquita, while I check your warp core..." QueenoMean: "Captain, ever since that Cathexis incident where I got to possess you, I've been dying to repeat the experience..." ThePooh: "A little more to the left...that's good...now scratch!" (Plagiarized from Kirk and Spock inTrek or Treat...) BeccaO: "Chakotay to Sickbay--access information: Heimlich Maneuver..." Free Wheelin' Jimmy: "I must say, I've changed my mind about your striking me as the bear type, Commander..." Car&Driver: "Captain, you know unzipped uniforms aren't regulation...here, let me help you with that..." Cardizem: "Riding your tail with my torpedo, Captain!" Siubhan: "Captain, you know you shouldn't eat Neelix's food so fast!" CmdrSelok: "Commander, I've decided to answer that question about whether or not I would have served under you..." TOP 10 RUMORS ABOUT THE DELANEY SISTERS Ruth and Emily, the Gifford Sisters, started these, but lots of other people have contributed since! Thanks all! 10. They're clones, not sisters; no one knows which came first. 9. They're actually 2/3 of a set of triplets. 8. They don't exist. Tom and Harry made them up so it would look respectable when the two of them sneak off to the holodeck together. 7. They're really Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. 6. They're really Deltan, and they didn't take the oath. 5. They're really two of Mudd's androids. 4. They're really Cardassian spies. 3. They're not really related to each other at all. 2. One of them used to be a man. Can you tell which one? Neither could Tom Paris! 1. They're really just a couple of nice farm girls from Iowa. VOYAGER PEOPLE Remember last issue when we reported that we thought we'd found Kate's stand-in? Well, here she is! SUE HENLEY by Michelle Erica Green Visit the Voyager set and you're likely to encounter an attractive woman in a red-and-black Starfleet uniform with command pips. She's about 5'5", 110 lbs., wearing her reddish hair up. No, I'm not talking about Kate Mulgrew. I'm talking about Sue Henley, Kate's stand-in. [Missing lovely photo of Sue #1] "I look a lot like Kate," Sue admits. "It's very bizarre. The other day before we left, someone put up a picture of Robert [Beltran] and Robbie [McNeill] playing stickball out on the lot, and you can see me in uniform with Kate's hairdo, and when I first looked at it I thought I was Kate." It's Sue's job to play Kate playing Janeway--not just to mimic her poses and practice her walk so that the lighting and sound technicians can prepare for the shots, but to remember where Kate's hands were during rehearsals and whether Kate started speaking or walking first in a particular scene. "I've gotten to the point where I can guess where she's going to put her hands, but it's part of my job to remember the details from scene to scene," Sue explains. "If she says 'Go to red alert' and then starts crossing the bridge, I have to remember what order that happens." It's hard work: stand-ins have to do much of the same physical performance as the actors, without getting screen time or credit or the chance to really act. But Sue says that working on Voyager is a real joy. "I love her to death, she's helped me so much," Sue says of Kate. "I've stood in for a lot of actresses and I don't want to name names, but most of them are not very nice. But Kate's always fantastic. She'll say, 'Thank you, Susie, thank you very much' when she comes in to do the shots. She gave me a bottle of really good champagne for Christmas." Sue credits not just Kate, but the entire Voyager cast and crew with making the long hours and hard work so enjoyable. "The whole cast is very open and friendly and warm--I have all their pictures on my wall," she says with a touch of embarrassment. "John [Ethan Phillips] is funnier than anything, Jennifer [Lien] is really a sweetheart, the rapport on the set is great--we laugh all day long, off-camera they're joking all day long. Robbie and Garrett Wang have this 'Running Boy' joke--they get into this pose like someone just starting to run, Garrett will say, 'Do the Running Boy!' and they're like little boys. But when they get into character, there's such a change. They're so focused." Sue readily admits that she's a fan of the show as well as the actors. "I grew up with Star Trek, I've been a Trekker since I was two, been watching ever since," she proclaims. "One of the times when they were going to cancel the original series, when I was in junior high school, I wrote to my school newspaper asking people to write in to save the show. Some kids called me up as a prank and pretended to be from Paramount, and called me names--I was just devastated." So it's a special thrill for her to work on the show. A longtime fan of Kate's as well, Sue "knew her from Mrs. Columbo--it was one of my favorite shows. I loved her voice and her strength, which was just what I thought Columbo should have married...but I didn't think she was a redhead!" She has also met Kate's sons--"little gentlemen, of course I'm partial to the redhead"--and her mother. Sue, who will be 34 on July 10, was born in Billings, Montana, the youngest of four. Her father, Bud Henley, writes that Sue "was always pretending or 'acting' since she was old enough to walk. For example...in the second grade, after she'd seen Thomasina , she went about finding homes and giving away Thomasina's kittens to her classmates who didn't know she didn't even own a cat, let alone Thomasina! And at junior high dances, she'd go out on the floor and dance and mime all the time, waving her arms about like in ballet! Her older sister Lori used to get so embarrassed! " Bud, a science teacher--and now the head of BSMUG, the Big Sky MacIntosh User's Group, which is how I met him on the Internet--always had a lot of animals around when Sue was growing up. Now Sue has two cats, an albino pigeon which she rescued, and a lizard ("different species than Janeway's animal guide"). Sue reveals, "My whole dream in life is to open a wildlife sanctuary; I'd like to start in northern California, there's lots of land and the weather's great, but I really want to go to Australia." She adds that now she hopes to get a national commercial not so much for the exposure, but to put the money towards her dream. "Acting has kind of gone by the wayside," she says regretfully. [Missing lovely photo of Sue #2] Sue initially moved to California to attend the American Academy of Dramatic Arts: "I'd rather be warm and starve than freeze and starve." Her credits include industrial films on how to be a nurse and improvisational shows on CableVision. How did she get the job as Kate's stand-in? "I was working on DS9, and I interviewed to be Genevieve [Bujold]'s stand-in," she laughs. "Thank god I didn't get it. I stood beside her as in how's your height, etcetera, but someone else got the job. And, well, we all know what happened after that. A few days later I heard that there was going to be another captain, so I asked someone across the street--that's how we talk about the distance from the DS9 to the Voyager stage--and he said, she's got red hair, you're probably her height, you should talk to them! They said come in on Monday, and I stood in on her first day, and it's been a great job ever since." The resemblance helped, but "Kate has a much stronger, chiseled face than I do--mine is more mushy. She has a very strong chin." Sue usually has to arrive about half an hour before crew call at 8:30 a.m., but when they're on location or when she's going to appear as an extra, it can be much earlier--sometimes 5:30 a.m. "I can't imagine playing Quark or Neelix and having to get there three hours earlier every day," she marvels. Sue does primarily two types of work in front of the cameras: double work for Kate, in which her hands or feet will appear in a scene, and background work, in which she appears as a different crewmember altogether. "I don't do much background because I look too much like Kate with my hair up Starfleet style," she sighs. "When I do, I have to wear a hideous black dead-rat-looking wig. I'm a redhead, I have a light complexion, I'm everywhere but you wouldn't recognize me from this wig!" She thought she would have to dye her hair to stand in for Janeway, but "Kate's wig got redder." As a result, however, she can't appear in the background of a scene that Kate is in: "We look too much alike." When she's Kate's double, Sue gets an occasional moment of glory onscreen. "Those are my hands shooting pool [in 'The Cloud,']" she gloats. But she admits that the balls scattering into the various pockets were all separate shots--and that Kate did the "8-ball in the side pocket" herself: "She didn't think she was going to make it, and everyone applauded when she did!" Kate also personally got clubbed over the head in "Time and Again," which earned her Sue's admiration (and gratitude!). Although she sometimes walks in her footsteps, Sue claims that she could never fill Kate's shoes. "I watched Kate do that scene in 'The Phage' in the transporter room, five or six times, and every time she did it there were tears in my eyes--and in Kate's eyes. I could never do that. That requires so much talent. You can see the control behind it--that Janeway wants to cry and can't let herself do it. Kate is just a fantastic actress." Sue can be seen with her own hair in "Caretaker" on the illusory farm--"I'm one of the people walking near the dog, just before the woman comes up to Tom and Harry"--and "in the holographic pool hall from 'The Cloud,' behind Robbie and that dark-haired sexy woman of his, wearing that awful wig." Her favorite episode was the pilot. "I take it personally, the way it went when I worked on it. I love the opening up of the acting and watching the characters meet. My favorite bit was with Robbie and Robert on the stairs in the cavern, where Robert says, 'Wrong tribe'--for a brief moment in time I knew an Apache shaman, so watching Robert be an Indian for me is really interesting--his depiction is just about perfect." She adds that the entire cast got to watch "Caretaker" in the big Paramount theater, which was an added thrill. The directors as well as the actors have a great deal to do with the pleasant atmosphere on the Voyager set, according to Sue. She notes that TNG star LeVar Burton was particularly nice: "We were filming around Christmas, and we had a little Christmas party thing after the episode, and LeVar came up to the stand-ins who were standing around singing carols, and he bowed and thanked us for letting him be part of the group." Sue didn't see much of TNG's Jonathan Frakes when he directed, as the show "was one of the ones where Kate came in and said 'Red alert' and then left." All the directors have been fine, she adds, but "Rick Kolbe's probably my favorite --he's constantly joking, constantly up, he's a very fun guy to have around." Sue is single but dating a fellow stand-in, a man she met on Deep Space Nine, where she was an extra and he was doubling for René Auberjonois' Odo. "It's weird watching the shows together, because we were there when they were being filmed. We're always thinking, oh, they used that shot--we're remembering all the different angles and ways they did it, so we can't get into the storyline." "We don't talk about which show is better," Sue warns. "It's like talking about politics, can't be done. But, I mean...mine is!" [Missing lovely photo of Sue #3] THEY SAID IT William Shatner, live on America Online, plugging his new Star Trek novel, Ashes of Eden: Question: How do you feel the ST universe has been affected with a woman finally in the "Big Chair"? Shatner: The Star Trek universe has been nurtured as well as commanded by Kathryn Janeway. I think she's wonderful. KATEWATCH We have no con calendar this issue because as far as we know, she isn't doing any more until Denver in the fall If anyone hears otherwise please let us know immediately! CREATION IN BELLEVUE, WASHINGTON The con was totally fabulous, and I have some major and minor scoops for you all! I was in the 4th row front, center, so I had a great view of the stage! (This was due to the fact that Creation owed me one after Robert Beltran was MIA at the last Seattle-area con.) First, I have to tell you that I gave her a Mississippi Memories cookbook, a copy of Now Voyager, a card with a poem, and a pound of Seattle's best coffee, and she thought she was supposed to sign the Now Voyager, and I said "No, that's for you, the latest edition...I write for them," and she said "Oh, good...I love this! I think it's great!" [Missing photo of Kate reading Now Voyager!] Second, I asked her, "What was you favorite role at Clarke?" and she said "Oh my god...I was there for so short a time, it was just a blip...what, 6 months?" (I believe it was actually 8 months). Then she said "Were you there?" and I said, "Yes, do you remember me? You lectured me about reading," and she said "What's your name?" I said "DeAnn," and she said "Oh, yes, reading is my thing. My favorite role must've been Nora in The Plow and the Stars, a Sean O'Casey play, remember?" She looked at me really hard, but I do not think she recognized me, but that was okay, because she was warm, witty and wonderful to the crowd, and she spilled her guts about LOTS of stuff she's never said before. My friend Justin, who sat next to me, asked her about further interaction with the Voyager crew members, and she went off into this marvelous riff about how important character and character development is to the show. She was cagey about Beltran (she raised her eyebrows provacatively at the mention of his name) but said exactly what we've all surmised, that he's mischevious, very masculine and charming, she hopes he will get more of a chance to be the "ferocious Maquis Commander." She had been talking about character development, and how more technical wizardry on the show was not nearly as important (and she asked us if we agreed) as getting to the root of what makes this group of people tick. She kept saying Star Trek was modeled after the British Navy (I have heard that before, but I thought Roddenberry denied it), and when someone asked how her relationship with Chakotay will develop, she said "I want us to see more of his Maquis-ness. There should be more stories that show his ferocity. I mean, he's suposed to be a Maquis warrior, and don't you think it would be a bit hard for a man like that to instantly become a Starfleet-British-Navy-yes-sir (and here she saluted stiffly and clicked her heals together, military fashion) first officer without some kind of conflict? But we haven't seen that, so I would like to see less of the book-clicking thing with him and more of his turmoil." Then someone asked her about her salary...AND SHE TOLD US! She wasn't supposed to, and told us it should not go out of the room, but I have it on tape! She did go on about how she thought actors are paid too much, and she said, "First of all, you get paid to do what you love, and second, it's a lot of money...Let's not get into it. I'm well paid and I'm happy." Unfortunately, my tape recorder malfunctioned (I am not a technologically sound person!) and I didn't get all her Q&A on tape, but I did get the last 1/3rd of the stuff she said, and it was amazingly candid material. She talked about how hard it is to work a 5-day, 80-hour a week schedule, and how her sons, ages 10 and 11, are not happy about it, and that they miss their mom and think she loves her job more than she loves them, but she said "I go on the theory that though I miss them desperately, how many mothers are happy in their jobs? And I can give them the gift of my joy in my work." She admitted that the next big "guest shot" they had on Voyager would be John De Lancie, her best male friend, she said, "because he put a gun to my head and made me say so," and when someone asked about Guinan, she was not sure, and that person said Jeri Taylor was quoted as saying something about that, and Kate said "Oh, well you know Jeri...she is very careful," and she waggled her hand, as if to say "be careful of taking that as gospel." Someone asked about there being a 'counselor' on the show like Troi, and she said they were actually thinking about that and looking for someone, and that it was an astute observation. She also mentioned that Kes would mak e a good ship's counselor, and that maybe even Picardo could be programmed into the role: "He seems to be able to do everything else! 'Yes, I'll do that' he says," she laughed, waving her hand in the air. She said she was sick of answering questions about her hair. "It's only hair, people. It's on my head for twenty hours, and though it's a 'woman's crown' and all that, I don't think if I was a man they'd ask that question." There were many funny moments. She told us that Beltran, Tim Russ, and Robbie McNeill work up song and dance routines for a "Christmas Show" at 1 a.m. on the set that crack her up, and that Tim Russ does a wicked impression of Ben Vereen, with Beltran and McNeill as the chorus line, and that she has "that Irish-Catholic disease (about laughing)" that once she starts, she can't stop, she said she has to beg them to quit. She waxed poetic about Ethan Phillips, and how she would not only drink his coffee, but "shine his boots," and how she thinks Robert Picardo will someday be "running" the Voyager. She also noted that she has been pushing for the writers to deal with the issue of children and love relationships on board: "Seventy-five years is a long time, folks. We have to deal with families and relationships, and Janeway would have to deal with them eventually." She spoke about being the eldest daughter in a family of eight being great training for Janeway because "you have to make sure everyone is taken care of. Everyone has to be fed, clothed, and you are in command and responsible for those people, just like a ship." She said that Neelix and Kes are like her children, and was very subtle about B'Elanna. She thinks Roxanne Biggs-Dawson was "perfect for the role and extremely well cast" but doesn't seem to have the warmth for B'Elanna that she does for Tuvok, Paris and Chakotay. [Missing photo of Kate speaking at con] There were some poignant moments, when a stately woman stood up and said, "My friend and I are both counselors, and I wanted to thank you for what you do for us. We have very heavy jobs, and when we come home, we just escape into your universe, and relax. Thank you." And Kate was deeply touched. She asked the lady what kind of counselor she was, and when the woman said "drug and alcohol rehabilitation," Kate sighed and said, "God what a hard job. And you relax by watching Voyager. Thank you, my dear." A man with a 5 year old girl trying her best to hide in his armpit stood up and said, "I am the father of a daughter, and I want to thank you for being a strong role model for girls." Again, she stopped and said "You're welcome, and thank you for watching." She asked a little boy (all of 5 or 6) who was wearing his braces retainer to come up to the stage to talk to her, and when he asked "Does the saucer section of the Voyager detach from the battle bridge like the Enterprise D?" she was nonplussed, and said "You know, I don't know why I always ask these little guys up to the stage, because they always ask me this technical stuff that I can't answer! I don't even know what you are talking about, young man!" He explained it to her, and she said, "Uh, yes, well, if the Enterprise could do it, I am sure we can, too." Meanwhile, all the techies nearby were shaking their heads in the negative and laughing under their breath. She had two young gals from Poland come onto the stage to have their pictures taken with her, and then she asked a woman in the audience, "Where are you from?" and the woman replied "Germany," and Kate said "I thought so, I have a great fondness for German people." She noted that in a week and a half, Voyager goes on hiatus, and she can't wait to go to a "Swiss spa" and "hit the bed and sleep for a week" and she answered a question on her effect on the ratings as a woman captain by saying, "I don't think it has helped the ratings, because there are still some people out there who are not going to accept that a woman can captain a starship as well as a man, and nothing will change thier minds. But I am counting on the people like you, who watch the show. People don't recognize me when I am outside, and I can still walk about freely, so no." Also, someone asked if she would regret taking the role, if she thought that she'd be labeled (read: typecast) as Janeway for the rest of her career, and she said, "No, and I will tell you why, and tell me whether or not you agree with this. I think there are either very good actors, or one who deserves the label attached to him, don't you agree? I have been an actress since I was a very small girl: I will transcend Katheryn Janeway when the time comes." A little girl dressed in a red and black starfleet uniform asked if the ship would land, and Kate said, "We just did! We just finished that show. It's a really neat planet, too...watch for the episode!" My friend also asked her how much of the role was her, and how much was the writing and writers of the show. She said that much of Janeway was her, and that they shared a strong sense of duty and responsibility, no-nonsense attitudes and heart. She spoke of her time at the White House, and she said she was invited by Hillary Clinton, the woman who piloted the space shuttle most recently, several female scientists, and a woman mucky-muck from NASA. She said Hillary said she was invited not as a scientist, but as a role model for women. And Kate said, "I came like a thief in the night, to steal from these women (their gestures, actions, etc. for enacting Janeway). And I noticed they paced, rattled off scientific jargon without hesitating, and they were witty, erudite and confident. Yet they never lost their femininity, or their poise. And I thought, 'Janeway must be this, too.'" A woman in the audience asked Kate if she minded being compared to Katharine Heburn, and she said that though Hepburn is a great actress, and she is flattered, as anyone would be, to be compared to a great star, she read the recent book that came out and Mulgrew felt that Hepburn had a very troubled life, nothing like her own. She considers herself to have been privileged to have grown up with her family--and she did mention that she was born and raised in Dubuque, Iowa! Also, someone in a Star Trek uniform wearing a baseball cap had her chuckling, and she said she thought "we (Voyager crew) should all have those, it's marvelous" and that person asked her if she did her own pool shot for the Tom Paris cafe scene, and she said "Of course I made that shot--that was my shot. 'Course you need to be a shark to do this shot, just give me the darn cue...of course, it was also 13 hours later that I finally made it." She also talked about that scene when she reams out the crew for going behind her back, and Tuvok helped them ["Prime Factors"], and she said, "I called for that scene. They wanted to shoot it rather perfunctorily, but I said no. But when I turned ot that face that I loved [Tuvok] and realized that he betrayed me, my heart was broken." She got choked up just talking about it! She also told us that Janeway's holodeck program is Jane Eyre, and how she will not be having affairs on the ship like Kirk and Picard. She said she feels it's important that she can only have a romance in her imagination. I got the idea that she thinks romance would compromise her command. (It certainly never did anything for Kirk or Picard but get them in hot water, IMHO!) She told us that there were times when she was working on Mrs. Colombo ("and it was very hard because I was in every shot, every scene") when she'd get home at 1 a.m., knowing she had to be back at the studio by 4 a.m., when she was just too tired to read through the next day's script. But, she said, "Then, I was younger! Now, I just have to force myself, when I get home, to make a cup of tea and go over the script for the next day." Kate discussed, wtih great verve, her love of Shakespeare and the stage, and someone asked her which she preferred, stage or TV, and she said she loved the immediacy of the stage, because "just like this, you and I are having a conversation, and I know you are listening; the contact is immediate, even though you are out there and I am up here...we are communicating directly. On the show, I haveto communicate with a camera, which is a whole different arena..." and she went on to talk about the feedback loop between a live audience and an actor that feeds them, "and I, as an actress, need to be fed." She said her favorite stage role was Hedda Gabler. Kate told us that the tech crew had to refrigerate her "animal guide" so it would stay still on that log, and then someone would come over with a hair dryer and 'warm the little guy up' so he would move toward her in the scene, and she laughed and said she felt so bad for the little guy having to be frozen and thawed for each take. She said that lizards, in Indian (or at least whatever Trek version thereof) folklore represent "Fire"! Creation had a cute little montage of characters on Voyager to the song "Sloop the John B", you know, the one with the chorus that goes "Let me go home, I wanna go home, this is the worst trip, I've ever been on." Very cute. But Kate made the day. Our favorite Captain was dressed in a stunning black suit jacket with matching pants and a cream silk blouse with pearls, and halfway through the show, she took her hair out of the bow-holder she had it in and let in flow down her back...its getting to be quite blonde, either from the sun or highlights. There is just enough red in it to call it Irish! She is, as always, petite, svelte (even thinner than when I saw her 12 years ago!) and with a fine air of purpose, strength and grit. --DeAnn G. Rossetti When Kate Mulgrew strode onstage at 3 p.m. on Sunday, the audience greeted her with an enthusiastic standing ovation. She made a few opening comments and immediately opened the floor to questions. She was full of joy and happiness, very comfortable with the audience, and clearly in charge. As she said later, Janeway is a lot like herself. Mulgrew spoke endearingly of her character, saying, "Janeway and I are a match made in heaven." Although she obviously loves this role, she was slightly overwhelmed by the fans in the beginning. She has since welcomed us with open arms. Of the fans, she said, "You are intelligent, you like science, you care about humanity, and you care about morality." She has done all of her own stunts so far, except one--she could not bring herself to do the back flip. She is excited about just having turned 40. When asked if Whoopi Goldberg would guest star as Guinan, Mulgrew replied, "If they can find a way to get her [into the Delta Quadrant], we'd love to have her. But before we get Guinan, we'll have Q!" Thunderous applause greeted that announcement. Mulgrew answered a question from a young boy: "Is Voyager capable of saucer separation?" Mulgrew looked perplexed. She said, "Leave it to the young ones to ask the technical questionsŠ I don't have a clue what he's talking about." The boy explained how the Enterprise-D separates, and then Mulgrew said with feigned confidence, "Of course it can, Voyager can do that." Mulgrew spoke about what she wants from the role now and in the future. "I want conflict, personal sadness, and full development of relationships with the crew." She detailed how she sees her relationship with each crew member: "Chakotay is a good complement to Janeway. We need to see him develop more, after all, he is second in command of the ship. B'Elanna is intense. I don't know what their relationship will hold. Tuvok is my very dear, longtime friend, who recently betrayed me. It broke my heart. Neelix and Kes are like children on the ship. It was a wonderful stroke of genius to include them. Paris, hmmm, I trust him with my ship. I'd like to see that relationship develop more. I want to see children on the ship. Seventy-five years is, after all, a long time. I think Janeway will have a relationship in the future. But it will come after a poignant letting go of my man back on earth. And when I do have a relationship, it will be very serious. Kirk and Picard could have flings. Janeway can't do that. And I don't want her to." She loves all her co-actors and respects the acting talent in particular of Robert Picardo and Ethan Phillips. Of Ethan, she stated, "He is a rare human being, full of light, humility and loads of talent." It's a lot of hard work to be Captain Kathryn Janeway. Mulgrew says she works 80 hours a week. However, she's quick to point out that she loves it. She described her job as an epiphany, a blessing, one that has filled her with joy. She acknowledges the difficulty in working 80 hours and raising two children. Her boys (age 10 and 11) miss her and tell her she must love her job more than them. She knows she cannot do it all, and is "taking each day one at a time." Asked if there will be a mortal enemy on Voyager like the Borg was to TNG, she said she felt the Kazon were enemy enough. As a matter of fact, she said, one of them committed a most grievous act, he fell asleep during her monologue. "Now you've made an enemy, baby!" Mulgrew has a great sense of humor, and this was evident throughout her brief Q&A with us. Witness this question from a 10-year old girl: "Will there be Voyager movies?" Lots of laughs from everyone. Then, placing her hand on the young girl's forehead, in her best clairvoyant voice, Mulgrew said, "Yes, there will be Voyager movies." By the way, the young girl was dressed as Janeway and won the under-13 costume competition. Someone asked: "How much money do you make?" Mulgrew seems conflicted about the size of her earnings, saying, "Think what Mexico City could do with [what I make] per week. I don't want to think about it." A fan yelled out: "You're worth every penny of it!" There were a lot of questions that I didn't record, as I was busy taking pictures, also. Mulgrew was alotted an hour to autograph. There was quite a long line of admirers--I waited in line about 45 minutes. She signed an autograph for everyone who stood in line. It was apparent how much Mulgrew loves her job, the other actors, the Janeway character, the fans. I am now even more enamored of Mulgrew. She is dedicated to Janeway and Voyager. Kate feels Paramount's decision to cast her was made quickly and on gut instinct. If so, it seems Paramount's instincts are right on. --Meg Grace [Missing photo of Kate and Meg!] KATHRYN JANEWAY, FEMINIST HEROINE Yes, we're still using the f-word, just like the most recent Ms. magazine, which has a column on Trek and both of the issues discussed herein...we hope Pete's right about the 24th century. P.C. VOYAGER? by Atara Stein An article on Robert Beltran and Roxann Biggs-Dawson in Hispanic magazine (April 1995) raises the common complaint that Star Trek: Voyager's producers "have taken political correctness to its extreme." In response, Jeri Taylor notes, "I'm always bemused and a little bit bewildered when P.C. is used as an accusation. When did that become a pejorative? ... It's a very strange phenomenon to me because now people are hurling it like an epithet. I simply take no notice of that. I am proud that we have a well represented crew. I am proud of the fact that we don't have a cast of white males. I'm proud of the fact that we are showing underrepresented minorities. I don't give a damn if anyone thinks P.C. is questionable. I don't, and I stand by our choices. If anyone has a problem with that they can write me, and they'll get an earful." I like this woman! I would, however, like to examine this "accusation" of political correctness further. My first problem with the label "politically correct" is that it is a term that has long since outlived its usefulness and has become a convenient catchall for right-wingers to use to disparage anything that makes them uncomfortable--say, for instance, a TV show with a female captain and a multi-ethnic cast. The way the term is slung around nowadays, it can be applied to anything (a television show, a movie, a course syllabus, an ideological stance) that does not reflect the interests, concerns, and world-view of conservative, white, heterosexual males. Some history would be appropriate. Back in the Reagan-Bush era, P.C. was a self-deprecating term those of us on the leftward side of the political spectrum used as a gentle means of making fun of ourselves, particularly when we seemed to be falling into an unduly rigid ideological stance. For instance, one might really love the music of Midnight Oil, but one would add, as a joking aside, "And they're politically correct too!" As Barbara Ehrenreich, in "The Challenge for the Left," reminds us, the term P.C. originated "as a form of self-mockery"; or as Enrique Fernandez, in "P.C. Rider," puts it, political correctness was "a term originally appropriated by political progressives to mock the assholes in their own ranks." (Both these essays appear in Debating P.C., edited by Paul Berman.) Ehrenreich's objections to P.C. culture revolve around her perception that it allows people to vociferously denounce the language of others (objecting to the use of the word "girl" instead of "woman," for instance) without actually doing anything concrete to change the underlying attitudes. To apply "P.C." to a television series simply because it posits a future in which gender and race are irrelevant to one's career prospects seems to be an unduly sloppy use of the term, a term which is so often misused that it can be said to be essentially meaningless. But, having tried to dismiss the use of the term "P.C.," let's take the accusers on their own grounds and consider whether Voyager really is politically correct, by any reasonable definition of the term. I'm sorry, Jeri, but if I live to see the day when a politically correct series in the Star Trek franchise appears on television, I'll be very surprised. Don't get me wrong: I love Star Trek, I love Voyager, I'm a devoted fan, fanfic writer, and Trek usenet group cruiser--ask my students, who are undoubtedly tired of hearing about it. But I have yet to see a Star Trek production that I would classify as politically correct, and I doubt I ever will. A multi-gendered and multi-ethnic cast does not a politically correct TV series make, although it's a start. But there are several reasons why a P.C. Star Trek series is a contradiction in terms. One of the prevailing tenets of us politically correct types is anti-militarism. Most of my P.C. friends opposed the Gulf War, for instance, and we have any number of objections to military culture--its sexism, its heterosexism, its ideology of violence and might makes right, and its imperialist tendency to want to force American "values" down the throats of other countries (preferably smaller and weaker ones) whether they want them or not. The entire Star Trek franchise is based upon a predominantly military organization, namely Starfleet. For all the emphasis on the scientific and diplomatic missions of its vessels, Starfleet is a military organization despite its defensive emphasis, with traditional military rankings. It is not accidental that Worf's promotion in Generations was celebrated on a holodeck recreation of a 19th century naval vessel. The characters wear military uniforms, with insignia and colors to designate ranks. The Captain has absolute authority on his or her ship. If the military structure of Starfleet was at all in doubt, "Learning Curve" dispelled it, with its crusty drill sergeant (who turns out to have a heart of gold) whipping the reluctant Maquis recruits into shape (shades of "Major Payne"?). When Tuvok's charges try to take their complaints to Chakotay, he decks their leader with an impressive punch to the jaw--another time-honored drill sergeant technique. While Tuvok has gained a slight degree of flexibility by the conclusion of the episode, he has also won over his "cadets," who promise to abide by Starfleet regulations. (Chakotay and Torres have already readily assimilated into Starfleet ways. When Torres insists that the engineering staff take responsibility for their failed mutiny in "Prime Factors," Seska protests, "That doesn't sound like you. You've changed," Torres replies, "If that's true, I take it as a compliment.") In an entirely different respect, Voyager is a conservative's dream. Affirmative action policies are currently being debated in universities, businesses, and government offices. But Voyager is a shining example of making "hard work, self-reliance, individual initiative and merit--not group membership--the basis for success," as California Governor Pete Wilson recently put it in explaining his rationale for doing away with affirmative action rules. The white male human Paris and the half-Klingon, half-Hispanic human female Torres both earned their positions based on their superior skills. According to popular and inaccurate stereotypes of affirmative action policies, if Voyager were "P.C.," Janeway would have promoted several Maquis officers whether they were qualified or not. Instead, the ship is very much a militaristic meritocracy. Is it P.C. to presume that by the 24th century, members of underrepresented groups will have achieved the necessary education to compete on a level playing field? The original Star Trek series was ahead of its time in having an Asian male, a Russian, and an African-American female--and an alien--as crucial members of its bridge crew. To accuse Voyager (almost 30 years after the original series) of having succumbed to the ideology of those politically correct radicals and feminists who have so much influence on our society (yeah, right) merely because it has a multi-ethnic crew and a female Captain is ludicrous to the extreme. When a Star Trek series has an openly gay or bisexual character, or one who openly challenges Starfleet's military structure, then I will acknowledge Star Trek's political correctness--as a cause for celebration! THAT WORD AGAIN by Pete Perry She confidently strides onto the bridge, her hair held up in a neat bun, and her hands placed firmly on her hips. She is ready to issue commands and solve any problem which may be presented to her. She is Captain Kathryn Janeway, and I'm in love with her. Captain Janeway may indeed seem like a feminist character to us, the audience, but she is not. She lives in the 24th century where men and women are equals: both are capable of commanding a starship, buth are capable of being an engineer, and both are capable of solving scientific dillemas. Both genders in the 24th century are equals--that is not debated, it is a given. In the last two issues of Now Voyager a lot of writers have praised Janeway as a feminist and criticized Kate Mulgrew for not being one. Who says Mulgrew has to be a feminist? Granted she has said certain things at conventions which display a lack of understanding on the issue of feminism as we're applying it. However, she has the right not to be a feminist, but hopefully she will at least understand what being a feminist is. One of the reasons I love Janeway so much is because I had two older sisters who were my role models, and both consider themselves feminists. However, neither of them are what I would call negative feminists, meaning those who constantly bash men, burn bras, and advocate the ultimate superiority of their gender. My sisters (who didn't like Thelma and Louise) believe in the strength of women to solve conflict and care for others--much like our Captain Janeway. It is clear that Janeway is a feminist character to many of us in the 20th century, but in the 24th century there will be no need for feminists. And if Kate Mulgrew does not identify herself as a feminist that is her prerogative, and I respect her decision. TO JERI, FROM BLOOMINGTON WITH LOVE by Alan B. Canon I heard Jeri Taylor speak at her alma mater, the University of Indiana, and she was a delight, pure and simple. I feel as if I've met the real Captain Janeway now; she also reminded me of my 57-year-old English teacher from high school, to whom I owe much of my critical ability. IWe sat on the floor down front (the 400-seat hall was packed) and had a wonderful time listening to her college stories and the events which led her to Star Trek. She knew nothing of the show when she wrote (reworked, actually) her first TNG script, but quickly caught up. She spoke of the wonderful world "posited" by Gene Roddenberry, and took time at the end to ask us to make positive ethics a la Star Trek a part of our everyday actions and decisions. I think everyone there was blown away by her energy and wisdom. She's the kind of person you'd like to know, even outside the Star Trek pantheon. On the subject of Trek and feminism, there was a moment during the Q&A when someone asked Jeri about the evolving roles of women in Star Trek. In particular, whether The Next Generation women would be further developed in the forthcoming feature films. Jeri's response was that with the exception of [now deceased] Tasha Yar, the traditional nurturing roles of Crusher and Troi were molded by [now deceased] Gene Roddenberry, with his penchant for stereotypes. She offered greater hope for the women of Voyager, pointing out that the feature films will only emerge every two years from now on. I perceive that Taylor gets on very well with the other producers. (Rick Berman has been signed to develop ST VIII for the movie houses, and will be divided again as he was during the making of Generations. For this reason she said the show needs more writers: they're spread thin, apparently.) One did get the impression that a high degree of isomorphism exists between the fictitious Kathryn Janeway and the flesh-and-blood Jeri Taylor. Jeri is probably in her fifties (she graduated from IU-Bloomington in 1959) but after she was over the jitters from speaking before 400 people she bounced gaily around the platform, articulating well and bringing the house down in laughter and applause alternately with poise, perfect timing, and a wit that was by turns tribbles or photon torpedoes. Her presence was exciting, to say the least. As the next-to-last questioner, when I asked (from the front row!) whether Jeri Taylor would ever appear on Voyager, she was thrown off balance by a spontaneous ovation from the audience. She said, "I've seen myself on film...it would have to be heavily disguised as an alien, in the back of a dark cave somewhere." Still, it would be incredible to see her shine on TV. One would hope that video-fright might be overcome with suitable cajolery. She, Berman, and perhaps Piller tried to get in the last episode of Next Gen but there wasn't time. I think that she would be a perfect mother for Janeway, perhaps in a holodeck kind of circumstance, or older spiritual advisor, or in a recording that Janeway plays in her study. Unfortunately, I'm not sufficiently familiar with the series to do a proper job of highlighting much of what was said about the specific characters, except to note that Janeway definitely got a lion's share of the attention. I might as well add that Jeri says she reads USENET every week... "I'm always silent, but I'm always there." Your pro-Janeway postings probably make her heart glad. [Missing 5x7 of Kate at Grand Slam] BOOKS, COMICS, CARDS, AND AUDIO Rumor has it that Jeri Taylor herself will be penning the first Voyager hardcover novel, which will be about Janeway's youth, sometime in 1996. The third paperback, Ragnarok, by Nathan Archer, hit the shelves as we went to press with a much more promising premise (and cover) than Escape. We eagerly await the still-delayed comic series from Malibu/Marvel. EVERYTHING TO GAIN by Barbara Taylor Bradford; a Harper Audio Book read by Kate Mulgrew. I've been listening to a lot of books on tape lately because I've found that I get a lot more work done that way. While I was in Barnes and Noble looking for Taboo, Kate's first book on tape, we went over to a stack waiting to be filed and what we found on top sent us into peals of laughter--call it cosmic, fate, kismet, God liking us a lot--Kate had done another book on tape and there it was, Everything to Gain, recorded by Kate on April 29 (yes, her birthday) and May 2, 1994. So I took it to work, informing all my co-workers that they could listen to it when I was finished. I didn't know what to expect--it was on four tapes for a total of six hours, and I'd never read Barbara Taylor Bradford or anything in that vein. But when Kate came through my headphones, telling a story in the first person, I believe I had a very large semi-deranged grin on my face. The story is about a young woman who is very happily married to a loving husband, has twin six-year-old children and terrific in-laws. In other words, she's having the kind of ideal life that we can only dream of. But things turn terrible when her entire family is killed in a car-jacking gone wrong. The story is heartwrenching, even more so because the narration, being told by the wife, is in the first person. This character resembles Kate in that she is in her late 30s, small-framed, red-haired, and a Taurus. Because she closely fits the description of the character, it makes it seem as though she is telling the story on a more personal--god forbid!--level. The story is very sad in parts and I found myself with tears rolling down my cheeks more than once. Kate's reading of the story is positively stirring and the best book on tape I have ever heard performed (Gates McFadden's juggling of more than fourteen different character voices in the Star Trek novel Reuniun notwithstanding). The emotions in her voice during scenes of passion, happiness, and the murder of her character's family is something that must be heard. Her voice goes from a low, sensual purr when the character speaks about her love for her husband to the terrible agony of near-sobs when she tells of the murder of her family. Kate uses different voices for each character, a great help when listening to a book on tape. Her voice for her character's British mother is nearly Rachel Clement right out of Manions of America which produced another smile from me. The voice she chose for the best friend of the narrator is cigarette-husky but smooth, almost Sylvia Sidney in its tone. The only down side to the different voices are the ones she generates when speaking as the children. I grin as I write this because when I first heard them, I ran to check my tape player because I thought it was broken. Then I realized it was Kate doing the children's falsetto voices. They have this nasal quality that renders them very funny. Even if you aren't a fan of books on tape, I recommend this one, if only for the heartwarming performance. You won't be able to stop listening once you've started, it is so remarkable. It could easily be made into a movie. Hmmm. Wonder who should play the lead? --Melody Johnson STAR TREK: VOYAGER #2: THE ESCAPE by Dean Wesley Smith and Kristine Kathryn Rusch; Pocket Books 1995. I freely admit that the "Caretaker" novelization was the first Trek novel I've read since Marshak and Culbreath's "Phoenix" novels in the late 70s, well before the explosion of mainstream Trek fiction. "Caretaker" was so good I snatched up "The Escape" without hesitation and dove right in. Oh, the cruel disappointment. Not only does the first non-canon novel stoop to time travel --I've begun to wonder if the Delta Quadrant might not be a temporal tideland in which anomalies aren't the exception but the rule--but it doesn't add up to much more than a log entry. "Caretaker" got inside the characters' heads, even short-lived ones like Stadi and Cavit, and gave them substance above and beyond what we saw in the episode itself, and that is how it should be. "The Escape"'s characters are thin and cursory, with the glaring exceptions of two guest aliens who are given depth that the Voyager crew can only envy. I finished the book in an afternoon and was left with the full-hungry feeling of having eaten nothing but potato chips for lunch. It's disheartening, because "The Escape" had a great deal of potential. I have the welcome impression that the authors spent a great deal of time thinking through Alcawell and its refreshingly alien society. Time travel is convincingly integrated into the culture, as is its numbing bureaucracy. There are splashes of wry humor, my favorite of which is Paris's observation that the away team must have gone back in time because "it's their turn." (I know what he means.) However, I would have preferred a less ambitious alien society and richer characterizations, if we couldn't have both. The care taken with Alcawellians Kjanders and Drickel only underscores the lack of development afforded the Voyagistas. It's as if this had been written as a Next Generation novel and reworked for Voyager on a tight deadline. I remain stubbornly hopeful that future Smith/Rusch collaborations may bear more filling fruit, as this would've made one hell of an early draft. Completists will already have a copy; others should try to borrow it if they're interested. --Dena Verkade The first original Voyager novel provides a modest benchmark against which future efforts will be compared. It just doesn't work very well. To some extent, this isn't the authors' fault --the characters are new and apparently the material was sketchy --for example, Seska appears with no indication of her Cardassian origins. Giving allowance for sparse sources, the book still doesn't take off. One problem is a giant plot-hole. This yarn heavily involves time travel, which is fine, but a lot of the plot revolves around the idea that going back hundreds of thousands of years into the past is unlikely to create paradoxes while shorter journeys are serious criminal infractions. This just doesn't cut it. The longer the elapsed time, the more likely that somebody one deals with in the past is likely to be an ancestor and--well, you get it. Somehow, they've got it backwards and the suspension of disbelief quotient gets way out of hand. But the real problem lies with the characters. Torres isn't bad. The Doctor is done very well, and a scene involving a holographic doctor and an invisible patient is great good fun and a high point of the book. But Paris is very shallowly drawn, Neelix even more so, and Tuvok is, well, logical. But Janeway? What they do with Kate is a crime! While she is on the cover of the book, her role is relatively minor and mostly involves hanging around the ready room and, until the end of the book, sending others on away teams! She captains like Picard! There is none of the emotional involvement with her crew, none of the fire, very little of the risk-taking, that makes Janeway so very special. I kept waiting for Janeway to assert herself, to make a difference, to be a pivotal character, and it just didn't happen. There are some good points to the book. While their culture is off, the aliens who play a key role in the story are well developed and the bureaucracy they live in is dryly humorous and all too believable. There is more than a hint of satire, done pretty well. But this isn't Voyager, which at its best captures interest, intellect and emotions. While the second half of the book is better than the first, this is not a breathless page-turning experience. But the first original novel is a benchmark, and one that hopefully will be exceeded soon and often. Keep it as a historical document. --Gini Boehm Worthen COMING SOON: VOYAGER TRADING CARDS! I was haunting the local bookstores for the April issue of Hispanic magazine which contains a feature article on Robert Beltran and Roxanne Biggs-Dawson. What I found instead, was a publication previously unknown to me. The April/May issue of Non-Sport Update has the cast of Voyager on the cover, and a feature concerning the release of the new Skybox series of Voyager trading cards. This magazine is dedicated to trading cards of all kinds EXCEPT sports cards. The article, written by Steve Pastis and Russell Roberts, says that the new set is scheduled to hit the marketplace in either May or June. They say that Skybox's plans are for two series of Voyager cards to be released this year. Series I will be mostly behind the scenes information up through the pilot episode, "Caretaker". The second set, due out in the fall, will focus on the remainder of the first season's episodes. Each set will contain 90 - 100 cards. According to the authors, it is a time-consuming process. Scenes must be chosen, type styles picked out, then, finally, all must be submitted to Viacom Consumer Products (Paramount) for final approval. Viacom then takes the product to the actors themselves for approval. This is a lengthy process, which explains why the cards weren't available sooner! A bonus with this issue was a prototype Voyager card depicting the entire cast. If this sample is any indicator, I think they have a winner! --Becky Olsen ONCE IN LOVE WITH JANEWAY Otherwise known as the letters column...in which we disregard political correctness and say what we really think! I had told myself and friends that I didn't think that I would like "that" show. After all, I thought DS9 was that best thing that there was (I still do). I told myself that I wasn't going to tape all the episodes, collect figures, models, toys, etc. My place already looks like "Trek Central." Anyway I went into "Caretaker" with a prove it to me attitude. I thought it was OK but not great. The next few stories were along the same line--OK but not great. It wasn't the acting (I remember "Farpoint"). It wasn't the great hair debate--long or short. (Let's face it Kirk had a rug and Picard... well never mind, I think you get the point). It wasn't the hands on the hips (again it's no worse than the Picard manuver). I think it had more to do with the story lines. They seemed to be rehashed Trek. "The Cloud" and "The Phage" (aka "Neelix's Lung") just didn't do all that much for me. The last few episodes have changed my mind about Voyager. "Prime Factors" and "State of Flux" have gone a long way to changing my mind. Another reason I had decided that wasn't going to like Voyager was that I was afraid that DS9 would take a back seat to it and the story lines would suffer. Well that didn't turn out to be the case with stories like "Past Tense" and "Visionary"; DS9 is better than ever. One thing that I think that they should have done differently was to have Cardassians in the Delta Quadrant. This may change now with Seska. The Cardassians could have very easily gotten taken to the Delta Quadrant at the same time as Chakotay and his crew. This would have been a potential source conflict between the Maquis and the Starfleet types. Without the Cardassians you basically just have a Starfleet crew that doesn't quite have the discipline. Like everyone else I have my favorite characters. Chakotay for obvious reasons [the large number of witty, character-driven lines he gets? :D] and Janeway. I think Kate Mulgrew and her portrayal of Janeway is probably the main reason that I'm starting to like the show. I have always liked Kira too but Janeway is Starfleet! (plus she likes dogs). I find myself liking this character in a way that I never felt about any of the TNG characters. She's a competent captain that has managed to gain the trust of former adversaries and is trying integrate them into a single crew. As for Chakotay, how can you not like the guy. His line in "State of Flux" about says it all ..."You (Tuvok) were working for her (Janeway). Seska was working for them (Cardassians). Was anyone on board that ship working for me?" You have got to feel kind of sorry for the guy. I hope that they develop his character more in the near future and don't let him go to waste. As long as they can keep improving on the story lines, and the character development keeps going as it Voyager looks to be keeping the Star Trek legacy going. --Maryann Jorgensen [Missing very old photo of Kate at a party] I've finally found some like minded folks! I'm am so addicted to Janeway! I was an occasional watcher of TNG, but I'll sell my soul to make sure I'm able to see Voyager! I'm a bit of a feminist and I'm also a Cultural Studies student, so for me, Janeway is the closest cultural representation to my version of GOD that I've seen since Wonder Woman! Anyone feel the same or somewhat the same? None of my friends understand this addiction and they will not indulge me in any conversation about it. so is there anyone out there?! --Kara Chipoletti **Things I like about Kathryn Janeway.** She touches people! Physically touches them! When Kirk touched, it was in a macho smack the buddy on the shoulder or in a "I want to have sex with you, NOW" kind of way. Very, very male, and not particularly caring. When Picard touched... Oh, yeah, Picard was too repressed to touch anyone. And on those rare occasions when he did, he looked pretty damned uncomfortable. But Janeway touches to nurture, to reassure, to encourage, to include. She uses human contact to actually make human contact! How novel. How warm. How female. How completely delightful and cool. Is Rick Berman getting softer and wiser, or does Kate bring that herself? I tend to think it's her. However I must admit I'm having trouble reconciling the Rick Berman of "Voyager" with the Rick Berman of "Next Generation." Something's happening here... and whatever it is, I like it. Okay, if you haven't guessed by now, I'll let you in on my little secret (or one of them, anyway). I am a Radical Feminist. So how could I not love a woman who is strong, brilliant, sexual, brave, decisive, emotional, intellectual, ethical, honest, fallible, comfortable with leadership, willing to admit to fear, nurturing, analytical... In a word, real? The first real, multi-dimensional female character I've seen on Star Trek (though I must admit I don't watch DS9 much, so maybe I'm missing other great women). I love it! And I love her. And I think the reason I love Chakotay is because he has all the same qualities, and isn't just some cardboard man's man. When did Star Trek start creating such full bodied, complex characters? Not that I haven't always loved the shows, but... you know! --Julie Aiken TRIVIA! SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW KATE? By Steve Yudewitz By now we all know Kate Mulgrew as the strong yet sensitive, tough yet tender captain of the Voyager, Kathryn Janeway. Well, the road to becoming captain of a Federation starship is long and bumpy... and loaded with fun factoids that are quickly forgotten with each passing TV Guide crossword puzzle. (By the way, any of you know a four letter word for ten down? The clue is "Captain of the Enterprise on the original Star Trek ending in "RK". No, I don't think "dork" works.) Below is a test to see what you know about the past roles of Ms. Mulgrew. This is only a test. DIRECTIONS: Please use a freshly sharpened number two pencil and carefully fill in the dot next to the correct answer. Choose the most correct answer. Incorrect answers will not be tolerated. 1. The name of the detective show Kate Mulgrew starred in was: O A: Kate Loves a Mystery O B: Kate and Allie O C: Kate Columbo O D. Kate the Detective O E. A, C, and D. 2. The last name of her character on that show was: O A. Columbo O B. McShane O C. Callahan O D. A & B O E. A & C. 3. Kate played Dr. Joanne Springsteen on what tragically short-lived medical series? O A. Trauma Center O B. Heartbeat O C. After M*A*S*H* O D. General Hospital O E. Dr. Z: Medical Hologram 4. What was Dr. Springsteen's specialty? O A. technobabble O B. podiatry O C. cardiology (heart) O D. OB/GYN O E. strong guitar/unintelligible lyrics about cars 5. Kate Mulgrew played Councilwoman Janet Eldridge on a well-known series. Her character was romantically involved with one of the leads. Name the character and the show. O A. Hunter on Hunter O B. Sam Malone on Cheers O C. Judge Harry Stone on Night Court O D. D.A. Dan Fielding on Night Court O E. J.R. Ewing on Dallas 6. Ms. Mulgrew also held political office in the 1991 situation comedy Man of the People, playing Mayor Lisbeth Chardin. Name the actor who played councilman/con-man Jim Doyle. O A. William Shallert O B. William Shatner O C. James Garner O D. Tom Hanks O E. Ben Vereen 7. What did Kate Mulgrew's character on her 1979 detective show do in addition to solving mysteries? O A. Worked with troubled teens O B. Wrote for the Valley Advocate O C. Played third base for the Angels O D. Made little children cry O E. Had a dog named Bear TREK TRIVIA by Laura Lee First, some Voyager questions: 1. Which quadrant of the galaxy are they in? 2. What race is Neelix from? 3. What race is Kes from? 4. How big is Voyager compared to the Enterprise? 5. What is Harry Kim's ethnic heritage? 6. What kind of pet does Janeway have? What is its sex? 7. What is Janeway's boyfriend's name? 8. Which Voyager regulars have already appeared in a Star Trek episode or movie? Also, name the part(s) they played. 9. Kate Mulgrew wasn't the first person asked to play Captain Janeway. Who was? 10. Captain Janeway's first name wasn't always Kathryn. What was the original name given to her? General Star Trek questions: 1. William Shatner wasn't the person asked to play Captain Kirk, nor was Captain Kirk the name given to the character of the original captain of the Enterprise. Who was asked first and what was the original name of the captain. 2. Wesley Crusher was not always called Wesley, For a while, he wasn't even a guy. What was the original name of the child of Dr. Crusher? 3. Who's the only person to play himself on a Star Trek episode? 4. According to "All Good Things," who does Geordi marry in the future? 5. What is the unofficial name of Picard's fish? 6. Which two Shakespeare plays have had scenes acted out by Data in TNG? 7. Many well-known actors and actresses have appeared on Star Trek. Given an actor or actress, name the part and show/movie they appeared in. a. John Larroquette b. Kirstie Alley c. Corben Bersen d. Christopher Lloyd e. John Tesh f. Malcolm McDowell g. Bebe Neuwirth h. Elisha Cook Jr. i. Olivia d'Abo j. Kirsten Dunst k. Paul Sorvino l. Erica Flores m. Kelsey Grammer n. Iman o. Joan Collins p. Christopher Plummer q. James Sikking r. Christian Slater s. Ray Walston t. Mick Fleetwood 8. Because of the wonders of make-up many actors and actresses can appear in several episodes or movies in different roles. Given an actor, name the roles he or she has played. a. Majel Barrett b. Michael Dorn c. Mark Lenard d. Diana Muldaur e. David Warner f. Paul Winfield g. John Schuck h. Patrick Stewart ANSWERS TO KATE TRIVIA: 1. E.--A., C., and D. NBC had the show originally titled as Kate Columbo and changed it to Kate the Detective before settling on Kate Loves a Mystery. Kate may have loved a mystery, but the viewers didn't, the show died after a short run. 2. E.--A. & C. Apparently NBC wanted to give the show its own identity and severed ties with Lt. Columbo. Kate Columbo became Kate Callahan. 3. B.--Heartbeat. Ironically, her character changed names in this series as well, from Springsteen to Halloran. Maybe "The Boss" sued the network. 4. D.--She was an OB/GYN. Technobabble is Dr. Z's specialty. 5. B.--Sam "Mayday" Malone proposed to Diane Chambers instead of Kate. He's probably still kicking himself. 6. C.--James "Rockford" Garner. The former Maverick played a man who inherited a council seat from his wife. Mulgrew played an unscrupulous politician. Ben Vereen played a con-man in Ten Speed and Brown Shoe opposite Jeff Goldblum. Tom Hanks was in Bosom Buddies, and has from time to time appeared in feature films. William Shallert was Gidget's dad. No one around here knows what William Shatner did before T.J. Hooker. 7. B.--She wrote for the Valley Advocate. Carney Lansford played third base for the Angels that year. SCORING: 7 correct: You have a keen mind for detail and should probably seek professional help. 5-6 correct: You are truly a Mulgrew maven. 3-4 correct: You have a healthy amount of knowledge about Kate. Less than 3 correct: You didn't watch enough TV in your formative years. Blame your parents. ANSWERS TO TREK TRIVIA: Voyager questions: 1. Delta quadrant 2. Talax 3. Ocampa 4. 1/2 the length of the Enterprise 5. Korean 6. Female dog 7. Mark 8. a. Robert Duncan McNeill - Nick Locarno in TNG: The First Duty, b. Ethan Phillips - Doctor Farek in TNG: Menage a Troi, c. Tim Russ - T'Kar in DS9: Invasive Procedures, Devor in TNG: Starship Mine, Lieutenant on bridge in Star Trek: Generations 9. Genevieve Bujold 10. Elizabeth General questions: 1. Jeffery Hunter, Captain Christopher Pike 2. Leslie 3. Stephen Hawking 4. Leah Brahms 5. Livingston 6. Henry V and The Tempest 7. a. Maltz in Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, b. Saavik in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, c. Q2 in TNG: Deja Q, d. Commander Kruge in Star Trek III: TSFS, e. Holographic Klignon in TNG: The Icarus Factor, f. Soran in Star Trek: Generations, g. Lanel in TNG: First Contact, h. Samuel Cogley in TOS: Court Martial, i. Amanda Rogers in TNG: True Q, j. Hedril in TNG: Dark Page, k. Nikolai Roschenko in TNG: Homeward, l. Marissa in TNG: Disaster, m. Captain Bateson in TNG: Cause and Effect, n. Martia in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, o. Edith Keeler in TOS: The City on the Edge of Forever, p. General Chang in STVI: TUC, q. Captain Styles in STIII:TSFS, r. cameo in STVI:TUC, s. Boothby in TNG: First Duty, t. Antedian dignitary in TNG: Manhunt 8. a. Number One in TOS: The Menagerie, Nurse Chapel in TOS episodes, Doctor Chapel in Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Commander Chapel in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Lwaxana Troi in TNG and DS9 episodes, Computer voice in TNG, DS9 and VOY episodes, b. Worf in TNG episodes, Col. Worf in STVI: TUC, c. Romulan Commander in TOS: The Enterprise Incident, Sarek in TOS, movies, and TNG episodes, Klingnon Commander in ST: TMP, d. Dr. Miranda Jones in TOS: Is There in Truth No Beauty?, Dr. Anne Mulhall in TOS: Return to Tomorrow, Dr. Katherine Pulaski in TNG episodes, e. St. John Talbot in Star Trek V: The Final Frontier , Chancellor Gorkon in STVI:TUC, Gul Madred in TNG: Chains of Command, parts 1 and 2, f. Captain Terrell in STII: TWOK, Captain Dathon in TNG: Darmok, g. Klignon ambassador in STIV:TVH and STVI:TUC, Legate Parn in DS9: The Maquis, part II, h. Captain Picard in TNG, Williams in TNG: The Defector. COPYRIGHT VIOLATION CORNER All non-feline characters and Voyager itself copyrighted by Paramount. Everything else is the product of Siubhan's demented imagination! [The illustrations by Anne Davenport, are, regrettably, missing.] DIPLOMACY by Jennifer Pelland (Siubhan) "Damn you, Tom Paris, and damn your hormones too." Captain Janeway sat in her ready room, fuming quietly to herself. Paris had gotten himself into trouble--again. He'd been on shore leave for all of seven hours when she'd gotten an irate message from the husband of a woman he had seduced. It seemed that Tom had mistaken him for her pet and had wooed her right in front of his face. However, Janeway supposed that she *could* understand the mistake. When she'd had the husband's call put on-screen, she had thought she was talking to a house cat. On top of which, it had taken awhile for the universal translator to figure out what he was saying, other than "meow." Frankly, for a while she thought that the message was a prank. Janeway sighed and slumped forward on her desk. All right, maybe Tom had no way of knowing that the cat was that woman's husband. But dammit, she was sick of bailing him out of situations like this! She was just going to have to tell him to keep his pants on around Delta Quadrant women. Meanwhile, he'd ruined shore leave for everybody else. She'd had to recall all personnel but him from the surface; he was currently in yet another jail cell. Tom seemed to have a talent for getting thrown into jail. Her door chime rang, and Janeway quickly sat up and straightened her rumpled tunic. "Come in." Chakotay walked in. "It's time to go down to the planet and bail out Lieutenant Paris." She sighed again. "Can't Tuvok do it alone?" He pursed his lips and said, "I don't think so. The government is pretty angry over this incident, and I think it will take someone of your rank to smooth this out." "Dammit!" She slumped forward once more. "What I don't understand is why the *husband* is pressing charges. Don't the women in this culture have full autonomy? I didn't think that they were legally subordinate to their husbands. If she consented to the seduction, than what's the problem?" "You're right that the women are legally autonomous, but that's not why he's pressing charges," Chakotay replied. "Oh? So what exactly is the issue?" Chakotay vainly tried to suppress a grin and finally gave up. "Well, apparently Tom picked the husband up by the scruff of the neck and chucked him out of his own house." Janeway tittered, brought her hand to her mouth, then shook her head and burst into raucous laughter. "You're kidding!" she gasped. Chakotay took Janeway's lapse into laughter as permission to stop holding back his own. He chuckled and said, "I'm not kidding. Tom has been charged with assault on the dignity of a citizen." Janeway buried her face in her hands and tried to regain her composure. She peeked out from between her fingers, eyes still bright with laughter, and shook her head. Moving her hands from her face, she sharply said, "This really isn't funny. We could have caused a major interstellar incident here." Chakotay quickly sobered up. "I know. With this one action, we have basically expressed contempt for their species." "Right. I'll beam down with Tuvok immediately." She stood up and walked towards the door. Just as she reached it, Chakotay let out a small meow. The door opened, and Janeway was faced with the unpleasant necessity of trying to not burst into laughter in front of the entire bridge crew. She shot Chakotay a dirty look, took a deep breath, and said, "Lieutenant Tuvok, you're with me." Janeway and Tuvok materialized in the front hall of the Justice Center. They were greeted by two stern-faced women in somber blue uniforms. Janeway stepped forward and said, "I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Voyager. This is my Chief of Security, Lieutenant Tuvok." "I am Melquin, Chief Justice Officer of this colony, and this is Attorney Tanis, who has been appointed to the defense of your officer," snapped the taller of the two women. "Are you aware of the charges against your crew member?" "I have been informed of them, but I would appreciate it if you elaborated," Janeway replied stiffly. "We have charged Lieutenant Paris with assault upon both the physical and mental person of Chrrrp," Melquin replied. Janeway couldn't help but notice that the aggrieved party's name sounded like a cat noise. She'd heard a friend's cat make that same noise when trying to attract the attention of a bird outside the window. "And what is the penalty for such an offense?" Tuvok asked in his usual matter-of-fact way. "Well, the physical assault was minor, so that would normally only involve a fine," replied Melquin. "However, the assault on Chrrrp's dignity..." Tanis jumped in. "There really is no law on the books for such an offense. However, the aggrieved party's mother is a high level official in our continental government, so she's turning this into a diplomatic issue." "So theoretically, we may be able to solve this diplomatically rather than through your legal justice system?" Janeway inquired hopefully. Melquin cocked her head to the side. "Perhaps. We certainly hope so, but that matter is currently out of our hands. Right now, Chrrrp's mother has called the Continental Council together to discuss this issue. We had to petition them directly to get permission to let you visit us and discuss the case." "Would it be possible for us to see Lieutenant Paris?" Janeway asked. "Of course. Right this way." As they followed the two women through a maze of corridors. Janeway appreciatively studied their feline grace. They didn't precisely resemble house cats, as the men of the planet did, but seemed to be the bipedal equivalents of a cougar, or maybe a jaguar. Just like cats on Earth, they came in a wide range of colors, including cool blues and vibrant greens. And there was not a man to be seen anywhere in the building, not even in the holding cells. "Where are all the men?" Janeway inquired. Tanis turned her head and said, "Unlike the species represented on your ship, we are an extremely gender-dimorphic species. This is the Justice Center for women, and there is a separate Justice Center for men. We require very different working environments, and the prisoners require very different prison environments. We put Lieutenant Paris in the women's facility because he was too large to fit into the men's jail." Janeway thought to herself, "I bet he thinks this is a reward, not punishment." They stopped at the end of a corridor and a guard promptly opened a door for them. Inside the cell was Tom Paris, sitting on a bunk. When he noticed the Captain staring at him balefully, he turned red and said, "I'm really sorry." "Do you realize that you've caused a major diplomatic incident?" Janeway snapped. "How was I supposed to know?" he said defensively. "He looked just like a house cat! Besides, his wife didn't complain." Janeway just glared and pursed her lips in angry thought. Tuvok turned to Melquin and asked, "Is this true?" She nodded. "We have the wife's statement. She did not object to the way that Lieutenant Paris treated her husband. The husband has not only filed these charges, but has also filed for divorce. This is practically unheard of in our culture. We tend to pairbond for life." "I think it's time we had a little discussion about our cultural differences. That might help clear up any misunderstandings," Janeway said. "Is there anywhere where we can talk?" "Of course," Melquin replied. "When you're done talking with your crewman, we can retire to my office." Tuvok could tell that Janeway was in no mood to be civil with Paris, so he took the lead. "Are you being treated well, Mr. Paris?" "Yeah. This prison isn't so bad. I should know," Tom replied in his usual flippant way. "Look, what do you mean by a major diplomatic incident? What's going on?" Janeway barked, "You assaulted the son of a major political figure! Now we have to deal with the continental government to get you out of here." She put a hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. She was a lot angrier than she had realized. She'd never had much patience with Tom Paris, and now it had worn down to nothing. It would not do to yell at her crewman like this, especially in front of the very people who could help her to gain his release. He was *nothing* like his father. *Nothing*. She took a deep breath and said, "I shouldn't have yelled like that. We'll talk later. Do you have *anything* to say in your defense?" An obviously cowed Paris replied, "Nothing other than the obvious, really. She initiated it, brought me back to her house, and then I made a really big but totally innocent mistake." "All this has been admitted by Chrrrp's wife on vid," Tanis added. "That isn't in dispute." "All right. Let's go talk strategy," Janeway said. She turned to Tom. "We'll get you out of here. Just keep out of trouble until we do." Tom nodded and sat back on the bunk. As the door closed, Janeway realized that he had absolutely nothing to do in his cell. If it were herself in there, she would be going stir-crazy, but he seemed to accept the solitude without even the slightest sign of impatience or boredom. So he *could* be patient, even in a situation that would drive most humans to distraction. He must have had to learn this skill in prison, and now that he was back in a cell, he had reverted back to his old habits. She wondered what he was doing. Was he meditating? Daydreaming? Writing a novel? For a moment, a flicker of respect for Tom shone in her mind, but she quickly extinguished it. She didn't want to respect him. She wanted to be angry with him. His father had never been so patient. With a start, Janeway came out of her thoughts as they ran into a woman and man in the midst of a heated argument in the main hall. Tanis immediately stepped forward and said, "Chrrrp, Kazie, these are Lieutenant Paris's people." Chrrrp turned to Janeway and said, "Are you in charge of him?" For some reason, Janeway's universal translator made his words come out slurred. It was still having trouble understanding him. There was something that was just plain *alien* about him. "Yes, I'm his commanding officer," she replied. Tanis touched Kazie on the arm and said, "They're here to try and gain his release. Would you two like to come up and talk with us? Hopefully we can clear this up before it escalates even further." "Never!" shouted Chrrrp. "This is an outrage!" "Don't use Tom to get back at me!" snapped Kazie. "Just because you're humiliated that I want a divorce doesn't mean you need to take it out on Tom!" Tuvok intervened, saying, "I was under the impression that he was seeking a divorce from you." She smirked and said, "I *had* told him that I wanted a divorce, but he wasn't willing to accept that. He didn't want to look like a failure in front of his family and friends. He's just using the incident with Tom as an excuse to save face." Janeway winced. How was it that Paris managed to get himself involved with yet *another* woman trying to divorce her husband? But then again, this time he'd had no idea until it was too late. Melquin said, "You see, a divorce cannot be granted without either the consent of both parties or evidence of some criminal act committed by one of the spouses." Janeway folded her arms in irritation. If this really was just an act of vengeance on the part of an angry husband... She could feel her temper threatening to blow through her cool demeanor again. Tuvok sensed Janeway's growing impatience and smoothed things out once more. "I suggest we proceed to Melquin's office. We will solve nothing until we sit down and calmly discuss our cultural differences." "Agreed!" said Kazie pointedly. Melquin led the way to her office, the group walking in silence except for the occasional angry exchange between the estranged couple. When they arrived, the women immediately headed for what Janeway thought of as regular chairs, and Chrrrp jumped up onto what appeared to be a tall, padded perch. It effectively put his head at the same level as the other people in the room. He was about the size of a Maine Coon cat, but was flaming red with large tufts of hair at the tops of his ears. He looked over at her indignantly, and Janeway realized that she had been staring. "I'm sorry," she said, "but you look like a house pet from my planet." "What an outrage!" Chrrrp fumed. "You see why I am so angry?" "Oh, shut up!" Kazie retorted. "If you look like one of their house pets, then you look like one of their house pets! You can't change that." "Please!" Melquin interjected. She turned to Janeway and said, "Now, where shall we start?" Janeway leaned forward. "First of all, let me show you this." She turned on the padd she'd brought with her and handed it to Melquin. "This is an animal that we call a 'cat'. It's a very common pet on our planet. If you'll hit the little arrow button, it will show you images of different types of cats. At their biggest, they are about the size of," she paused as she considered whether or not she could pronounce Chrrp's name, realized that she couldn't, and just gave up, saying, "the plaintiff, but they also get much smaller than him." Tanis leaned over Melquin's shoulder and nodded. "You're right. The similarity is uncanny." "I have to agree," Melquin said. Chrrrp jumped off his chair, saying, "I'll judge that for myself," as he gracefully leapt on the back of Melquin's chair. He craned his head forward as Melquin scrolled through several images, then looked away in annoyance. "Let me see," Kazie said, reaching for the padd. Melquin handed it to her. "Chrrrp, these look exactly like the men on our planet!" Chrrrp ran back over to his chair and jumped up onto the cushion. "Fine. I will concede you that point. But do your 'cats' talk like I do?" "The Terran cat is not sentient, no," mused Tuvok. "Then my speech should have been a clear indicator that I was not a pet!" Chrrrp said triumphantly. Tuvok replied, "That is not necessarily the case. Our universal translators have had great difficulty interpreting your language, but have had no trouble at all translating female speech. Mr. Paris may not have given his translator enough time to decipher your language before throwing you out of your own house, and thus mistook you for a non-sentient being. Might I assume that males and females of this planet speak different languages?" "That's correct," Melquin said. "We speak different languages, eat different food, keep different sleep cycles, work at different jobs. We do realize how unusual we are compared to other species of our region of space, but until now, we have never run into another species that thought our males looked like house pets." Janeway took her padd back and said, "This has obviously been a terrible misunderstanding. Mr. Paris acted rashly and inappropriately, but as you can see, there are extenuating circumstances. Can't we find some peaceful way to make amends?" Kazie turned to her husband and said, "Chrrrp, why don't you just accept an apology from Tom and drop all charges. We'll get a mutual divorce; you know we'll both be happier that way despite the social disapproval. And you can get your mother to drop her crusade. All right?" Chrrrp turned away, obviously unhappy with the situation, but then reluctantly agreed, "Fine." He started grooming himself with his tongue. Tanis said, "I don't know if it will be that easy. The Continental Council has already been called into session. They're arguing as we speak." Melquin tapped her claw against her temple in thought, then said, "Let me call them. I can break through to the chair and get a recess called. Captain Janeway, would you be willing to make a formal apology on behalf of your crew to the Council?" "Certainly." "Let me see what I can do." Nearly two hours later, Janeway, Tuvok, and Paris found themselves on the floor of the Council hall. All eyes were upon them. Janeway stepped forward to the podium and said, "On behalf of Starfleet and the United Federation of Planets, I would like to formally and humbly apologize for the behavior of one of my crewmembers. It was an understandable, yet inexcusable action: one that I promise will never be repeated. We have only the utmost respect for your species and your culture, and I fervently hope that relations between us have not been permanently damaged by this regrettable incident." Chrrrp's mother stepped forward and said, "On behalf of the Council, I accept your apology. And I would like to apologize to the members of the Council for taking up your valuable time." There were murmurs of approval, and Chrrrp's mother led the Voyager crew out of the main hall. She turned to Janeway and said, "I'm sorry to be such an overprotective mother. I'm going to give my son quite the talking-to!" "No need to apologize," Janeway replied. "You only did what was right." "Well, you're free to go," she said, most pointedly to Tom. Tuvok tapped his badge and said, "Voyager, three to beam up." When they were safely aboard Voyager, Janeway waved Tuvok and the transporter chief out of the room. Once the door was closed, she turned angrily to Paris and said, "I never want to have to do that again, do you understand? If I ever catch you fraternizing with another person who *isn't* on the crew, I'll revoke your shore leave privileges for the rest of the trip, *even* if it takes seventy five years to get home. Is that clear?" A bright red Tom nodded nervously and said, "Clear as a bell, Captain." Her mood softened and she rested her hand protectively on his forearm. "Don't think I don't understand that this was just bad luck. We're all looking for something or someone to make this long voyage home more bearable. But so far you've exercised poor judgement and had even poorer luck. We're all alone out here, and we can't afford to make enemies in the pursuit of companionship." Tom looked her dead in the eye and nodded. "I understand." Janeway patted him on the arm and said, "Dismissed. Go get some rest." Tom headed out the door with a tired slump to his boyish shoulders, and Janeway sat down on the lip of the transporter pad with a sigh. "Nothing like his father," she mused, and then smiled. The End WE ARE FAMILY Other Star Trek fan clubs you might want to know about! Send SASE for information: INSIDERS Official Tim Russ/Tuvok and Garrett Wang/Harry Kim Fan Clubs P.O. Box 8248 Long Beach, CA 90808 RANDOM FLIGHT Robert Duncan McNeill/Tom Paris Fan Club c/o Barbara Nash P.O. Box 3583 Abilene, TX 79604 random_staff@mystery.lib.calpoly.edu THE DOCTOR'S EXCHANGE Official Siddig El Fadil/Dr. Bashir Fan Club c/o Stephanie Armato P.O. Box 12254 La Crescenta, CA 91224-0954 docslady@aol.com ENVY Nana Visitor/Major Kira Fan Club c/o Kimberley Junius P.O. Box 1926 Upland, CA 91785-1926 bajorfemme@aol.com OASIS Official Armin Shimerman/Quark Fan Club c/o Kathy Bayne 26 Dogwood Street Jersey City, NJ 07305 kathybayne@aol.com THE LAST OUTPOST Star Trek Club of Hawaii c/o Mark Wilson P.O. Box 31261 Honolulu, HI 96820 73502.226@compuserve.com [Missing cartoon comparing Janeway's animal guide to Newt Gingrich]